We are so quick to put a label on things, and I mean all of us
ummm..that's interesting. I agree that we are quick to put LABELS of "things" (read people) yet its' interesting your "reasoning" of
why
EDWARD WILLIAMS said:
,because our feelings are tied up into these labels. And any person who is forced to be in a bad situation wants to feel good all the time. And it makes us feel good to have friends but we should be asking ourselves what does a friend do that nobody else does.
While it may "feel good", it seems to me it is more a function of
knowing a thing that supports our use of labeling. When there is a "label" on something, I know what to expect from that something. i.e "he is a crackhead". "crackhead" is the label that informs me that this person may be unsafe to be close to. I "feel" safe knowing something about this person i'm interacting with. Also, white people are very good at "labeling". They have been very successful with this practice. It has afforded them great knowledge and power as a result. It has aided them in dominating the world and the world's people because they have so much knowledge of things and people. Label says "******", this is what you do and how you do it to deal with the contents of that package. So if I want to be successful, I'd better get busy with "knowing" stuff, read the label as it tells you what's inside and what to do with it. Label "male". What's inside? The ability to protect, provide and has a penis to ride on. As a female who desires these things, I may want one of those. If it turns out he's not capable of doing those things, I may "feel" some type of way that is not "good" and therein lies the connection to "feelings" and labeling. If I did not ask enough questions of this male before I picked him up and he was able to perform only one or two of those characteristics consistent with the "label" of "male", then that is on me and my problem. So in the end, I hear us saying the same thing here.
It just starts to get tricking as SiS Platinum is highlighting in that that sometimes, as a female who desires what comes packaged with "male" I can be with a "male" get all that's in the package. It's like buying computer and I only have the rights to the tower yet not the keyboard. The keyboard is for someone else.
SiS Platinum....I think for the most part, we've all been socialized to know that in a male/female relationship, we can use only the tower and not the keyboard yet, we forget that at times when the keyboard that came with a particular tower we'd like to try out. We know we don't HAVE TO, yet, we get curious about it. "Feelings" of frustration may arise when we are confronted with the desire to try it out and it does not belong to us and we have only one way of satisfying this frustration. If we are comfortable knowing that using the tower is good enough for what we need at the time, we are not likely to feel frustration at not using the keyboard, however, IF we have a strong need for a keyboard AND the keyboard that came with that tower is attractive....then...we may become frustrated and
something has to be done to change that feeling. What that something is and how one determines what that something is is another story
This begins to speak to the heart of your query. At least, this is what I think I am hearing with your question.
M.E.