Higher Standard Required : Our Mission - The Core Foundational Pieces of Destee


Jan 22, 2001
betwixt and between
Website Consultant
Peace and Blessings Family,

Over the years, I have referenced our "core foundational pieces" without ever officially presenting them. They are in my heart, mind, soul, body, and Spirit. They have been referenced on occasion, throughout the community, but I have never spoke on them specifically. For this I do apologize, because I have fussed at some of you for getting close to violating them, and you did not know what they were. Imagine that! All of these years, I have operated thinking everyone knew! Thinking you all knew we had a specific agenda, a specific goal to attain and maintain, and that we were all on the same page with that! I thought everyone knew we had a purpose for being, that would not take a back seat to any other purpose or agenda, no matter who it was presented by. I thought yall knew. I'm sorry.

This community's agenda is deep and wide, able to easily accommodate a multitude of other agendas, brought by all who join and share here. But it will not let any other agenda, overwhelm its own. If you have an agenda, and most folk do, it's not a bad thing ... please realize that it must fit within the confines of our agenda, or it is not welcome here.

I started this community because of the passion and seed that God put in me. I believe this community continues because God and Our Ancestors sustain it. I believe this with my whole heart, and have put my life, my money, my thoughts, my everything, on the table for it. I am true to this, and will not let ANYONE in the entire world come here, and make what God gave me to do, be something other than what it was meant for.

The majority of our Members are adults. We do have children amongst us, and are more patient with them, but even they must be respectful. We believe that if a person is a whole grown man or woman, they already know how to do and be, and don't need us to teach them. I don't want that job, and i don't believe for one second, it is required of this community to do ... to try and raise already grown men and women. We will not do it. We want those who consider themselves adults, to demonstrate that. We need you to make right and proper choices, basically things most learned as a child. If you cannot do that, or don't know what right and proper is, you will not be allowed to remain here. We don't have the time or wherewithal to teach you these things. We need Sisters and Brothers that already know right from wrong, what is considered proper, respectful, responsible, etc. It does not matter how long you have been a Member here. I have been a Member since day one, and I too must tow the line. I must respect the core foundational pieces of this community, even those contrary to what I would rather do. For example, cursing is not allowed here, but i like to do it every now and then. But it is not allowed, so I don't get to do it. The respect you receive, will be a direct reflection of the respect you give, and not how long you have been a Member here, or anything else.

Every Sister and Brother is welcome to interact here, respectfully.

Every single Sister and Brother in the entire world, no matter how they live, what they think, how they worship, if they're unemployed, a killer, a drug dealer, crack addict, alcoholic, single Mother, illiterate, educated, politician, actor, rapper, teacher, singer, christian, muslim, atheist, demon, angel, robber, pimp, prostitute, grandmother, grandfather, short, tall, fat, skinny, dark, light, permed, pressed, natural, student, scholar, dropout, felon, police, judge, doctor, lawyer, blind, homosexual, straight, krazee, krippled ... do you get my point ... ??

Every Sister and Brother is welcome to interact here, respectfully.

We will not work hard to make everyone feel welcome, tell them to make themselves at home, then sit back and watch you attack them. That is not the reason we have created this community and welcomed everyone, to set them up so you can kill them. In fact, it is at this very juncture, that your agenda, and the community's agenda, is clashing. At this point, you need to stop and/or leave. I am not taking this position because I have personally experienced all of these things, but my people have, which means ... as they are, so am i ... whether I like it or not. That is me. That is my people, and I don't believe we can afford to throw even one away, at this dire time in our existence! I believe with love, patience, understanding, and encouragement, we can get through all these things and more, together. I will not give up on us, my people, and I will not let anyone make them not feel welcome in this community.

Destee.com is for all Black People, every single one of us. It matters not what choices you've made, where you find yourself in life right now, or where you hope to be. This is a place where we can all come together, breathe a sigh of relief, realizing we are oftentimes going through similar things. We can find comfort in the gathering of ourselves together, recognizing the power of our peaceful and respectful interactions. Some do recognize this, and I thank you for being here, lending your Spirit and energy to this effort. The great energy we create just by being together ... the way we can rejuvenate our minds, bodies, and Spirits, by focusing on the greatness of us. To be able to laugh and smile with each other, like we can only do with each other. This community is a refuge, a haven, a safe place. No one has to worry about fighting here, or getting beat up or called out of their name, or ever really having to rise to that "fight" or "flight" place, that the rest of the world usually keeps us at. No, we don't have to do any of that here.

A Brother told me long ago ... "Destee, when I come here, I feel like I can take my armor off, and rest." These were some of the most beautiful words I have ever heard, describing this community. He did not know about the core foundational pieces! Coming from a Brother that fights long and hard throughout his day, for his family, his life, a Warrior always prepared, acknowledging the great need of being able to take the armor off, and rest ... and that he was in that place ... oh my gosh. It was like God speaking.

That is what this community is about. That is its core foundational piece. That we be that place where a Sister and Brother can come, and take their armor off, and rest. After fighting folk on the job, fighting the system, fighting everybodee ... we have a place where we do not have to fight, and we can rest, rejuvenate ourselves, renew our strength ... for the next fight, that is sure to come.

That is what this community is about.

It was said last night, that friction (fighting, chaos, etc.) is needed for growth, and I am willing to agree. Brothers killing each other every night (in word and deed), folk calling each other out of their names, stabbing, thinking the worst of each other, pointing fingers at each other, blaming each other, all of this may eventually yield us something great and positive. It is certainly possible, as I am of the opinion that there is some good in all things, if you twist it just right. I have no problem with those of you that feel the need to perpetuate this kind of behavior ... fighting and chaos ... you are free to do it, you just cannot do it here. There are many places on the Internet where you will find Sisters and Brothers fighting each other. There are places built for this sole purpose, to give Sisters and Brothers a place to publicly disparage each other. It is like on Jerry Springer, when they ding that bell, and the folk get to fight'n again ... people know exactly what buttons to push, what topics, words, insinuations, suggestions, etc., that will get us up in arms. Yes, these places exist, and I am glad they are available, if it is the kind of environment you seek ... for we are not that kind of place.

We have a different and unique agenda, one that requires everyone to get along respectfully, with everyone else.

If your agenda, whatever truth you have to share, can be articulated without disrespecting another Sister or Brother, calling them out of their name, cursing them, talking about their Momma, etc., then that agenda is welcome. If you cannot present your agenda, opinion, commentary, etc., without disrespecting another ... you are not welcome here.

Our core foundational pieces, have a multitude of layers, many of which are still being introduced to me. I have never attempted to share this before, because it is a work in progress, with ever changing ebbs and flows. Over these many years, as the challenges have presented themselves, and I am grappling with how to deal with them ... I am always taken back to our core foundational pieces. I am soothed and directed by the breadth, and width, and depth of them.

One of the layers, this great essence of us ... working together respectfully ... manifesting the best interactions toward each other, is key to our people overcoming all that ails us. I believe this with my whole heart. If we could learn to love ourselves, and then, love each other the way we know we deserve to be loved ... collectively giving ourselves proper care and concern ... everything would change, in the blink of an eye. Overnight. Without it costing any one of us a dime. I believe this, and while I may never live to see it come to pass, collectively, I can do my individual part toward this end ... this agenda ... right now ... and I am doing that (what God gave me to do) ... right here at destee.com.

As I have traveled on this path, the further I go, the clearer the picture becomes! WE ARE RICH! We have Sisters and Brothers in a plethora of life paths, occupations, experiences, covering most every area known to man! We could teach each other every thing! We do ourselves a great injustice, by wiping out with a broad brush, any GROUP of us! We weaken our own selves! We throw the baby out with the bath water! We're willing to throw the good and bad away together, just to get rid of a little (so-called) bad! Instead of reasoning respectfully with each other, we attempt to beat the Sister or Brother into submission! As if we bring so much to the table, that we can dare say who should be allowed to eat, and who should not. We hurt our own selves Family. We manifest the crab like mentality often spoke about, and we don't even see it. Well, the core foundational pieces of this community sees it, and has taken it into consideration. We need the diversity all of our people bring to the table, and there is a chair for each and every one that is willing to dialogue respectfully.

Family, I knew too, that choosing this path, from all the many others that were available to me, was not the most financially lucrative. I have built and worked for all kinds of web sites. I could have built a site steeped in sex, drama, chaos, and negativity, the things that most certainly generate popularity, traffic, and ultimately money on the Internet. I have worked for these kinds of sites, and building / maintaining them requires virtually the same skill set, as this one. I was even told by many, in the early days, that this effort would never be a success. They told me that I was a fool to depend on Black People, to put all my eggs in that basket, because Black People don't support Black People. I went in with my eyes wide open, knowing full well, that if this effort was to be a success (on any level), God and Our Ancestors had to bless abundantly. I was confident I had them with me, so I moved forward, in spite of the naysayers. So, for those who want to point out our benchmarks, that hardly register on any scale, consider that our purpose plays a part. Most people only want to see us fighting each other, they are not nearly as interested, when we are getting along respectfully. Our traffic soars, when we are fighting, but when we are loving and respecting each other, our numbers drop. While it is difficult, always struggling to keep us alive, I embarked upon this journey with some idea of how challenging it might be.

I so respect what God gives someone to do, that even if I disagree with them, you won't find me talking negatively about them. You won't find me tearing them down. You won't find me spending time, trying to convince them, that God did not give them that to do. You won't find me wreaking havoc at their spot, or using this sacred place ... destee.com ... to hurt them. No, I won't do that, because I respect too greatly what I have been given to do, and what God and Our Ancestors are doing for us. I want ours respected, so I will respect yours. It is not necessary to believe, agree, or live like another, to respect them. I want to be a good representative of the message I share, the love I claim to have for my people. I do this all because of the core foundational pieces, the seeds, God gave me years ago. I have remained true to them. I am serious and passionate about this community, and I will not let anyone come here and disrespect us.

I don't care if I am ultimately left here alone. You freely chose to come, and you are certainly just as free, to leave. Whatever our end may be, I am confident that it will be what God and Our Ancestors intended. I trust and believe this, and am happy in it. I have no problem with any thing that God has in store for me. There is a season for all things, so I have heard, one to be born, and one to die. When that time comes, this community will be found dying, the same way it lived, respectfully.

I Love You All! :grouphug:

Thanks for listening.


Thank You Destee!

I will respect your Core Values presented and all of my Brother and Sister Members.

Thanks for taking the time.

Sister Destee...

All the things you mention in your post above...are the reasons I came to this site in the first place...and it is the reason I accepted the position of being a chat Mod. So I stand with Brother Hodee I too except your Core Values and will work and live by them in this site.

Breath easier Sister your work will come full circle.

Lilpea :1on1:
wow.......I can honor / obey and respect this from the core of my heart & soul
Throughout the years i've tryed hard to never dishonor, but there is times when
it just don't go as plan and with that for any part i've ever played in breaking
the core of the foundation to this beautiful and wonderful community , I truely
and humble give my deepest APOLOGY to the founder it's members and friends
i so beheld here over the years.

I found here to be the most rewarding place where i can display my true heart
and good kind folks would understand , throughout the years i've given my all
my love to everyone whom so step within my grasp and from that i grew
I learned and i listen intently of some very wise minded brothers and sisters

I came here not on fate but followed a well known sister who had a vision a sight
goal for her people to have a place to share / relax / enjoy and love within one
safe common ground , so i came with warmth knowing how i like to give beyond
recieving !
But this sister one i call the MOTHER QUEEN took my hand and believed in me,
had faith and trust of me from her gut feelings and if i so fall short or became
displace'd even lost way drop the ball sort to speak then i feel personally i've
let her down and feel truely bad , sometime i wonder do the wrongdoer ever
feel bad like i do, I too have worked hard to keep the love and harmony within,
i've accepted long ago truth and the agenda set forth here and made it my vow
to embrace every brother and sister , I also vow to never lay shame nor attacks
on or against my brothers and sisters .

I can and say , this community foundation is historical full of history on a base of
peace & respect which i love'd so much and it's full circle which surround it.

I honor destee everyday for opening the doors for us all to share peacefully and
respectfully , I am so greatful ......I vow to forever remain and be by her side here
so yes i'm like glue she stuck with me until death do us part.

Destee Thank you for teaching me / Thank you when you had to fuss and get at me
thank you for allowing me time to grow , thank you for believing in me , thank you
for your vision which i so truely respect and honor , thank you for this house
thank you for accepting me as part of your wonderful team .

I am only what your gift and creation has given me cyberly , in return i give and
share the same agenda asthis community and will forever comply.


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