Black Relationships : Re-establishing the bond between Black men and women.

This is a needed reminder in an age when too much time and mental energy is focused on those who choose not to's time to reclaim Black love in all its truest senses.

The measure of a people’s social health is the cohesion between its men and women. This interaction establishes a precedent for every other type of relationship within a community. A people or a community which has a broken link between its male and female members will ultimately find itself stagnant; as well as vulnerable, because without this core all other interactions will begin to breakdown. In other words, the relationship between men and women is the social structural core on which every aspect of a community is built upon. If male-female relationships within a community are unhealthy, it will have a negative effect on all other aspects of society. Thus before a community can realistically improve its economic prospects, or political ambitions, it must first successfully establish the natural partnership between its men and women. That goal has to occur before any others can come to fruition.

Modern media has detailed a disconnect between Black men and women. Newspaper articles portray Black men as less faithful and more untrustworthy than men of other races. Internet forums are flooded with topics where black men and women express their disappointment with each other. TV shows and movies frequently portray Black couples as problematic. Radio programs and comedy specials describe abusive and dysfunctional relationships as “Black Love”. Magazine articles in publications directed at Black men and women encourage their readers to explore “other options” in pursuit of love and happiness. Countless reports are released yearly on what is wrong with the black man and woman. In short the Black man and woman in the reality created through media propaganda are heading in two different directions with mix matching concerns, separate goals, and conflicting expectations.

Few vehicles are more powerful or effective at influencing the masses than media, and the aggressive campaign of white controlled media (although often delivered through black people to add an illusion of authenticity) has taken its toll on the Black community. Stereotypes are most dangerous when the objects of the destructive and genocidal messages begin to internalize them. Decades of being inundated with negative messages has caused many Black people to believe their own stereotypes. This unfortunate reality is reflected in the deteriorating nature of black relationships, and the inability of an unacceptably large number of Black men and women to form healthy relationships with Black women and men. A conversation I had with a Black man (a published poet) on the subject of Black love and relationships highlighted the danger of the current social state of black relationships. In his words, “Black men and women have lost faith in each other.”

Understanding that the relationship between black men and women is the social structural core on which every aspect of a community is built upon makes it clear that having a community where its men and women have lost faith in each other is a state of emergency. In order for the social economic status of the Black community to improve, it is essential for Black men and women to reconnect with one another. The first step in establishing this connection is to reject the propaganda of negative stereotypes against black men, black women, and black families. To achieve this objective it is essential that the black community redefines itself and its relationships based on the culture of their ancestors. This step will also make it obvious that the social standards for family, as well as male-female relationships which is currently being adopted within the Black community are detrimental for Black people.

Redefining black male and female relationships based on the cultures of our ancestors (as opposed to forming these relationships based on the norms of Western society) is an important distinction to make; because black communities which express the greatest discontent with each other are those which have lived along side white or non-Black societies for prolonged periods of time. This is apparent by examining how African American relationships have regressed as their contact with white and non blacks have increased. As the black community in the US began to assimilate into white culture (if not outright integrate into white communities) the amount of black people who married, simultaneously decreased. Similarly as African Americans began to assimilate into non-black communities and started to adapt non black cultural value systems, the number of Black marriages which ended in divorce also increased. Both of these social-behavioral shifts within the African American community played a significant factor in the rise of children being born to unwed parents. All three of these social behavioral trends which have developed as blacks in America have adopted non black culture, formed the basis for the deterioration of black relationships in the US.......


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