Black Relationships : Should friends and family know your relationship business?

[kente417mojo]

Especially when you're having problems with your mate. Some people chose to bad-mouth their mate when there are problems to make it seem like they are the victims. They want someone to tell them that they're right and that they should leave. All this while making the other mate look stupid at family gatherings and things like that. IMO, if you have to ask everyone else what you should do in your relationship...then you're probably not mature enough to be in one.

 

[panafrica]

Especially when you're having problems with your mate. Some people chose to bad-mouth their mate when there are problems to make it seem like they are the victims. They want someone to tell them that they're right and that they should leave. All this while making the other mate look stupid at family gatherings and things like that. IMO, if you have to ask everyone else what you should do in your relationship...then you're probably not mature enough to be in one.

This is a very important point you raised brother Kente, and it the primary reason I think most things in a relationship should be kept secret. When problems arise in a relationship, people do have a tendency to bad mouth their partner to family & friends. However unless a problem is of a serious nature, it is usually worked out and forgiven (if not forgotten). Although the partner forgives & forgets, the family who served as the shoulder to cry on often does not. Thus issues that have ceased to be within the relationship, still remain within the minds of family & friends. This is the primary reason that "trival" issues need to remain between the couple!

 

[Radical Faith]

The answer

No! If you are not married you only divulge this type of information to people in successful relationships. Haters can only advise how to hate. Absolutely No! If you are married you only divulge this type of information to successful married couples. If that is your parents fine. If you know of no successful couples then seek spiritual or professional help. Again I say hater can only advise how to hate.


Peace


Radical Faith

 

[panafrica]

No! If you are not married you only divulge this type of information to people in successful relationships. Haters can only advise how to hate. Absolutely No! If you are married you only divulge this type of information to successful married couples. If that is your parents fine. If you know of no successful couples then seek spiritual or professional help. Again I say hater can only advise how to hate.

This is true as well!

 

[KWABENA]

Ultimately the choice is yours, regardless of what people say. As with all advice you have to weigh the positives & negatives, then decide what is best for you.

As usual, Brother Pan to the rescue!

Why can't we have more positive advice going around on the site? This is one of those starts to us putting an end to ripping on eachother. Pan, you were positive, honest, and right to the point on your message. Simply just for that, that is why I will keep that in mind.

CD