Black Relationships : Should friends and family know your relationship business?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by kente417mojo, Jan 13, 2005.

  1. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Some of us expose our relationship business to our friends and family for whatever reasons. Is this ok? Is it beneficial to let your friends or family know what's going on in your relationships...especially when you're having problems? Now, I talk to my friends about certain aspects of my relationships, but I think some details need to be left out. I know that women get really detailed when it comes to talking about what they and their man do. Do men and women have this problem alike? Do men do it more? Do women do it more? Do you think it's good to have someone (besides your mate) to talk to about problems in your relationship? How much information is disrespectful to your mate, if any?
     
  2. mystic1974

    mystic1974 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hello family!! i have been thinking about this for sometime now and i have gotten to the point where i don't let anyone in when it comes to my relationships. Everyone is on a need to know basis. It has taken me a long time to stop telling people my business because all they do is run back and tell all of my business. the reason why i decided to do his is because i have gotten bad advice from people who don't know what a functional relationship is. I just rely on my intuition and have faith in myself and i have been happier ever since. Peace.
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    good question i'll be back on this later with what i think
     
  4. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That's true. You'll also find that misery loves company. People will steer you in the wrong direction so that you won't have what they don't have. People get jealous when their friends are dating and they're not. Do you refuse to tell anything..or just certain subjects. That's where it gets tricky IMO.
     
  5. mystic1974

    mystic1974 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i won't go out of my way to say anything but if someone who knows i am in a relationship asks me about something i just tell them what i want them to know and not get into any details. After i answer the question with a short answer i'll change the subject. i agree with you misery does love company. i have this one particular friend that has not had a decent relationship. Ever story she tells me makes no sense. She'll fall for a man so quick and then when they do something to her she gets mad. Then she wants me to take her advice i always end up telling myself, "why am i listening to this woman." it's my fault because I wonder why i expect an intelligent answer from someone who's mind is gone. By the way, this woman has a masters degree in social work and you would think i could get an intelligent answer. My aunt dates a man that is so good to her and she talks about him like a dog and sleeps with other men. Like i said before i just rely on myself.
     
  6. gempis

    gempis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think it depends on what kinda relationship you have with your parents. I have never been close to mine, so don't feel the need to tell them about my personal business. My brother feels the same way about his business.
     
  7. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think it depends on what exactly goes on in your relationship. I don't think family or friends need to know about every arguement that happens in ones relationship. They also do not need to know about all the "good" times either. This especially applies to "friends", because unfortunately, not everyone shares in the happiness of others. Intimate sexual details also should be kept between partners. However I encourage people who might be suffering or seeing signs of abuse in a relationship to lean on family & friends!
     
  8. KWABENA

    KWABENA STAFF STAFF

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    DELETED BY AUTHOR
     
  9. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ultimately the choice is yours, regardless of what people say. As with all advice you have to weigh the positives & negatives, then decide what is best for you.
     
  10. Nita

    Nita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Pan

    I agree.
    I think you should lean on two things..God and your family. I know that many people don't have a close family and may have to lean more on God. The thing is, don't bear ALL your problems inside and try to face them alone.
     
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