Black Relationships : Should You Discuss Your Past With Your Partner?

Should You Discuss Your Past With Your Partner?


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It's all the reason why when we move from a past to leave it in the past
as we move forward we seek the future, what makes it beautiful is when
they help us forget the past good or bad and focus on them and the future
Relationships are not join together by a past but a new start of a future ahead

Learning to let go of the past is the best way all you need is a out-line not
the details , often it can be a scare as you said when together behind bedroom doors
your mind triggers to the past and that's not good love , it's wonder sex that say
am I like her or him , will he or she do me like that ......best music made when love
is made away from the thoughts, doubts and past.
 
It's all the reason why when we move from a past to leave it in the past
as we move forward we seek the future, what makes it beautiful is when
they help us forget the past good or bad and focus on them and the future
Relationships are not join together by a past but a new start of a future ahead

Learning to let go of the past is the best way all you need is a out-line not
the details , often it can be a scare as you said when together behind bedroom doors
your mind triggers to the past and that's not good love , it's wonder sex that say
am I like her or him , will he or she do me like that ......best music made when love
is made away from the thoughts, doubts and past.

Absolutely. There is no turn-off worse than a partner who is constantly haunted by thoughts of his/her ex. And, you probably won't even know the damage that was done. The past should be history, the future is mystery. The present is the best gift we have to give.
 
Thanks for posting Angela.

You are fearless! I am a do not ask, do not tell partner....LOL


If I am contemplating getting into a relationship with someone, I have a lot of general questions about their past relationships. One guy I was interested in revealed to me to me that he had to attend anger management, "because his ex-wife concocted some false stories against him". He talked about it without ending, on every date. In my mind I couldn't conceive of his version of being completely innocent could be true. Or, at least it wasn't a chance I was willing to take. Without telling him why, I bowed out. Also, before getting into a relationship, I want to know if a person has any STDs. I would ask them, but I would also require testing.

Most of what I need to know, I want to find out at that particular time just prior to entering a relationship. After you are in a relationship, you have caught feelings, it's much harder to bow out, even if you know you should. If I had been with this guy 2 years, and then I found out he was a wife beater, it would have been difficult to extricate myself from the relationship. Just like if I had fallen deeply in love with a man only to find out he was bisexual. What would I do? I know the right thing to do, in my head. But, would my heart rule over my head? I don't know.

For myself, I learned to be a little more sensible with my own emotions up against logic. If I should walk away, I will. Even if I'm in love. Of course I'd weigh other things around it, if need be, but I won't linger where I shouldn't just because the person makes me feel good.

I don't always expect too much to be revealed at the start because I know how insecurity can hold people back, afraid of losing a potential mate, but once committed, I just don't see why they'd keep anything secret from me unless they know it's without a doubt not worth staying around for.
 
That's exactly the point. That after you're all comfortable in a relationship, why bring up something from the past?

Ok, let's say you and your beau have been together for 5 years, and you guys have 2 children. You are completely satisfied in every way. Then one morning y'all are lying in bed and he feels like he needs to make a confession. He tells you that when he was 16 another boy gave him head. LOL What are you going to do with that information?
 
That's exactly the point. That after you're all comfortable in a relationship, why bring up something from the past?

Ok, let's say you and your beau have been together for 5 years, and you guys have 2 children. You are completely satisfied in every way. Then one morning y'all are lying in bed and he feels like he needs to make a confession. He tells you that when he was 16 another boy gave him head. LOL What are you going to do with that information?

Because just being comfortable doesn't mean you need to hold anything back, imo. If it takes time build some courage, that's cool with me. Just be real and upfront. I'll respect it, even if I don't necessarily like it.

If a person held it back like they felt it'd never come to light any other way, or with the thought that me being "comfortable" would keep me from leaving, they have another thing coming.

As for your question, like I said, I'd weigh other things around it.

Why did he go through with such an act? Is it a memory he's fond of? Is he thinking about contacting this dude again? Ya know, just stuff to see where his heart and mind is at.
 

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