Black Relationships : Do Mothers Affect Black Love, Especially if They Are Not Attractive?

[Thelma Jackson-Smith]

Some men assume that if a mother looks bad, then the wife is going to look that way too.

What are your opinions on this?

Also, what if your friends think your mother is a "hot ghetto mess..." or fat and unattractive? How much does that factor into whether or not you try to get her to fix herself up? Would you turn to disrespecting her just because of what your friends think?

When I take my son out to play, I hear very crass things from some of the kids in our community. They are talking about other kids' mothers. I don't always get involved, but it does offend me. I believe that you should respect your mother all the time... you should respect her because she gave you life. Her looks shouldn't even matter...even if she's fat, ugly or whatever SOCIETY considers the worst in a woman. And in society, I mean what whites are thinking.

Moms have it hard enough from their husbands... they are cleaning up the house, taking care of the kids and (in some cases going to work). They are not always going to look good.

We shouldn't have to be judged by OUR CHILDREN on our appearance. We are old enough to know how to look good for what is in our control.

It's bad enough white society judges the so-called "bad" woman in a very offensive way... we need to learn to love ALL women even if they are considered the "worst" in the community. This includes our mothers.

 

[Asomfwaa]

Thelma I'm sure that you're a beautiful woman.

Some men assume that if a mother looks bad, then the wife is going to look that way too.

What are your opinions on this?

In my experience I've rarely met mothers of women I woo prior to meeting the woman in question. Would I take into account the mother after meeting her daughter? I doubt to any significance. More, this seems to be a superficial question.

Also, what if your friends think your mother is a "hot ghetto mess..." or fat and unattractive?

How much does that factor into whether or not you try to get her to fix herself up? Would you turn to disrespecting her just because of what your friends think?

Maybe when one is younger and his friends are his world, he'd be shamed by their sentiments. But it's a stage inherent in child-child socialization. I wouldn't sweat it. It just means a child has childish friends--that's a good thing.

When I take my son out to play, I hear very crass things from some of the kids in our community. They are talking about other kids' mothers. I don't always get involved, but it does offend me. I believe that you should respect your mother all the time... you should respect her because she gave you life. Her looks shouldn't even matter...even if she's fat, ugly or whatever SOCIETY considers the worst in a woman. And in society, I mean what whites are thinking.

You have to think back to your own childhood. Imagine only having two social environments; one with judgmental children and boring classrooms, and another with judgmental television and boring bedrooms. Unless you can make those rooms entertaining, you'll have the judgmental problem.

What you can do is ask the teachers to move your child's seating to a more learning oriented space; and change his channel to more learning oriented programming.

Moms have it hard enough from their husbands... they are cleaning up the house, taking care of the kids and (in some cases going to work). They are not always going to look good.

Black Mothers always look good. Don't fall for the propaganda.

We shouldn't have to be judged by OUR CHILDREN on our appearance. We are old enough to know how to look good for what is in our control.

Don't sweat those things. They are children.

It's bad enough white society judges the so-called "bad" woman in a very offensive way... we need to learn to love ALL women even if they are considered the "worst" in the community. This includes our mothers.

"[Wo]Man in the Mirror"

 

[MimiBelle]

I'm not a male but boys do talk like that. It's not a 'black thing'.
Don't take everything so personally.

Would you turn to disrespecting her just because of what your friends think?

Are you talking about men or boys(children/teens)?
There's a difference....

I don't mind shallow. Everyone is at some level and to varying degrees.
The quote smacks of someone immaturity and easily led.

We have some pretty fwd thinking males on the site, so I'd hope that none were this damned impressionable.

 

[Kemetstry]

No, we go all the way back to the grands on both sides





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[Kemetstry]

If mom hasnt given their child self esteem before they reach school, then she hasnt done her job. Kids by nature are unfiltered in their speech. Moreover today, many dont have any home training. I submit this is just part of the normal growing process today





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