Black Relationships : When Is Divorce Necessary?

I've never been married. But one day I would like to fall in love and get married. However, I'm very skeptical about it. Being that I know more people who have divorced then remained married.
My daughter's friend's parents are getting divorced because from my understanding the husband is very controlling and mean. They have 4 kids together, one of which is between the two, and the other three are hers.
He is opposed to helping out with the three that are hers, because he doesn't feel it's his responsibility. Mind you, the father of the 3 kids are involved and does help out.
Anyways, he's mean to the kids as well.
She went to my parent's business and got a job so that she could provide for her other kids, but he didn't want her to work either.
So he served her with divorce papers.
IMO, I feel like he knew what he was coming into when he married her...He knew that she had three kids.

Anyways, with that being said...when is divorce necessary? When you are simply unhappy with your spouse? When there is infidelity? When there isn't any intimacy? Financial problems?

I've never been married. But one day I would like to fall in love and get married. However, I'm very skeptical about it. Being that I know more people who have divorced then remained married.
My daughter's friend's parents are getting divorced because from my understanding the husband is very controlling and mean. They have 4 kids together, one of which is between the two, and the other three are hers.
He is opposed to helping out with the three that are hers, because he doesn't feel it's his responsibility. Mind you, the father of the 3 kids are involved and does help out.
Anyways, he's mean to the kids as well.
She went to my parent's business and got a job so that she could provide for her other kids, but he didn't want her to work either.
So he served her with divorce papers.
IMO, I feel like he knew what he was coming into when he married her...He knew that she had three kids.

Anyways, with that being said...when is divorce necessary? When you are simply unhappy with your spouse? When there is infidelity? When there isn't any intimacy? Financial problems?


As someone who has been married three times, I am in the perfect position to answer this. First of all, NEVER FALL IN LOVE....grow in love. Even the sentence "fall" in love says that you are coming from a higher state to a LOWER state...hence the word "FALL". Secondly, The word "husband" means "a home owner and wife means a room owner". Look it up. So the whole thing of husband and wife is some European Biblical bull... !! Not only is it what I just stated, it is also some patriarchal garbage. In original Afrakan societies a woman never loses her identity or name...and in the works of John G. Jackson entitled; Man, God and Civilization pg. 217, he states that in ancient Kemetic society it was the man "who promised to obey the woman in all things" instead of as we have it now...basically denoting that it was she who was the foundation and not the man. In fact, before the birth of Prophet Muhammad, in black societies everyone was named "after the mother and not the father. This is the reason why there are "no last names, totem names or tribal names in the Bible". Moses who? Abraham who? Jesus who? Solomon who?

They were trying to hide the fact that it was the woman through whom the lineage was kept and not the man. This was why they had the woman cursed from Adam on down and with it began the systemic destruction of the female in history and religion and the elevation of the man above her. Ok, so much for the history lesson.:)

Divorce should realistically only come about when there is a change of value systems and life directions. In other words, if you are not growing together then you are growing apart. When you are growing apart is when "infidelity" comes into play even if it's subconscious. Issues like money should never come into play because "money is man made" and has no feelings, thoughts or intimacy connected to it. It's simply paper...paper that we give value to because it has none of its own. My first wife was a player....so obviously I had to divorce her simply because the foundation of our relationship was not real. Oh, by the way...just for the record: "A man does not stop physically growing until the age of 27"...so if you run into a brother younger than that talking that "I'm a man ish", he's lying and doesn't even know he's lying. How can he be a grown man when he isn't even finished growing yet?...and that's just on the physical level !!!

My second wife was an excellent woman and wife but again, we grew apart simply because she wanted to be a wife and mother and I was all caught up in the world because I was a recording artist and my singing career was more important to me than she was...therefor we didn't have the same value systems.

My third wife, QueenTswana was excellent, she simply passed away from health issues.

Men are physical creatures with many of us having very little control over our little wee wee's....and that's for real! Our penis is not connected to our hearts whereby a woman's love nest is connected to hers. This takes time, maturity and a divine respect for their zipper and their woman to pull off in order for them to not allow their "little head to rule their big head". It takes growing beyond our egos of "what a so called man is or is not". As men we have nothing inside of us that gives us value and so we seek it in the external world. A woman's self worth is internal and is manifest in the simple fact of motherhood....something a man can never fully know, feel or relate to on the levels that she does. All of this intertwines with marriage and with divorce.

The truth is this: It doesn't matter who we are with or what the woman has or doesn't have, we are always going to be confronted with the illusion of the physical world if we are undeveloped. We will always see something that to us looks better than what we have. This is why men have to be internally developed and is a part of the reason why a woman was the President of the mystery system in ancient Kemet before black men took her out of power. There's more...but I hope that this was helpful.

By the way, that "ring ish" started in Greece. They had more slaves there than free citizens and used the ring as an identifying marker!...although the finger is supposed to represent the penis sliding into the hole of the ring (vagina). The entire wedding ceramony is from cave history by the way. Let me stop right here because I can run this ish!!!:cool:
 
In fact, before the birth of Prophet Muhammad, in black societies everyone was named "after the mother and not the father. This is the reason why there are "no last names, totem names or tribal names in the Bible". Moses who? Abraham who? Jesus who? Solomon who?

[/quote]

The couple who I was talking about are Muslim.
 

Consider this: Islam is the perfect religion for the black man. Where else can he be mentally, religiously and socially feel that he deserves to have more than one or two women!??...and sadly, is she says something about it she can be accused by him of keeping him from following the deen of the Qu'ran!! His religion says that it is his right to have more than one.
 

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