Black Relationships : When Is Divorce Necessary?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by MsInterpret, Jan 2, 2013.

  1. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2007
    Messages:
    8,999
    Likes Received:
    5,439
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Washington
    Ratings:
    +5,447
    I've never been married. But one day I would like to fall in love and get married. However, I'm very skeptical about it. Being that I know more people who have divorced then remained married.
    My daughter's friend's parents are getting divorced because from my understanding the husband is very controlling and mean. They have 4 kids together, one of which is between the two, and the other three are hers.
    He is opposed to helping out with the three that are hers, because he doesn't feel it's his responsibility. Mind you, the father of the 3 kids are involved and does help out.
    Anyways, he's mean to the kids as well.
    She went to my parent's business and got a job so that she could provide for her other kids, but he didn't want her to work either.
    So he served her with divorce papers.
    IMO, I feel like he knew what he was coming into when he married her...He knew that she had three kids.

    Anyways, with that being said...when is divorce necessary? When you are simply unhappy with your spouse? When there is infidelity? When there isn't any intimacy? Financial problems?
     
  2. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2001
    Messages:
    20,953
    Likes Received:
    5,248
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Chemist
    Location:
    Detroit
    Ratings:
    +6,135


    When the lack of respect and love gets to the point you are thinking of self destructive things to do to yourself and your spouse





    ..
     
  3. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2007
    Messages:
    8,999
    Likes Received:
    5,439
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Washington
    Ratings:
    +5,447
    Do you think couples should seek out marriage counseling first in order to see if they can try and repair their marriage that way?
     
  4. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2001
    Messages:
    20,953
    Likes Received:
    5,248
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Chemist
    Location:
    Detroit
    Ratings:
    +6,135


    Especially, if children are involved





    ..
     
  5. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    Canada
    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2001
    Messages:
    3,759
    Likes Received:
    673
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    the near north
    Ratings:
    +836
    DIVORCE is never necessary. however, divorce is preferrable to physical/mental/emotional abuse. biblically speaking, a divorce is granted with the hope of remarriage when a mate has been unfaithful. BUT ONE DOESN'T HAVE TO SEEK A DIVORCE FOR THIS REASON. today, we have grown to think in terms of convenience. once we grow tired of our mates, divorce becomes convenient. once we find another who is more appealing, divorce becomes desirable. once our mate becomes old news, divorce becomes a method of opening new doors...new opportunities. BUT NONE OF THAT IS NECESSARY...JUST PREFERRABLE to the situation we find ourselves in. working on my third marriage, i guess you could say i speak from experience.
     
  6. spiritual eyes46

    spiritual eyes46 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 11, 2012
    Messages:
    86
    Likes Received:
    59
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +59
    the problem is a lot of people get married because of the children which should be a NO, NO, trying to keep a family together because of children and no love will never work,at the end of the day someone is going to get hurt now don't get it twisted Love is a Beautiful thing ,one if you find it and two if you really know wnat Love mans a word so easily said but never really meant, if you one day find it then you are truely blessed because real LOVE is hard to find.....
     
  7. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2001
    Messages:
    20,953
    Likes Received:
    5,248
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Chemist
    Location:
    Detroit
    Ratings:
    +6,135


    Today people dont marry for the kids. Today, they dont even marry when in love.





    ..
     
  8. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2007
    Messages:
    8,999
    Likes Received:
    5,439
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Washington
    Ratings:
    +5,447
    I have male friends who went and married women that they had a child with...solely because they felt it was the right thing to do...however, they were never in love with the woman that they had a child with. Once married they find that they cannot tolerate their better half and then end up getting divorced.
     
  9. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2001
    Messages:
    20,953
    Likes Received:
    5,248
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Chemist
    Location:
    Detroit
    Ratings:
    +6,135
    Thirty-two percent of women found "for better or for worse" to be the toughest vow, while the highest percentage of men (27 percent), found it most difficult "to be faithful."
    More on MSN Living: 8 most common reasons for divorce
    Conversely, 25 percent of women also found "to be faithful" a tough vow to keep, while 23 percent of men had trouble with "for better or for worse."
    Sixteen percent of women said "in sickness and in health" was the hardest vow, compared with a close 17 percent for men. Eighteen percent of men and 12 percent of women said "for richer, for poorer" was the biggest struggle.



    .
     
  10. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2001
    Messages:
    20,953
    Likes Received:
    5,248
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Chemist
    Location:
    Detroit
    Ratings:
    +6,135


    Thus proving my point about having a baby and thinking it will make a man cleave to you





    ..
     
Loading...
Similar Threads - Divorce Necessary
  1. Liberty
    Replies:
    5
    Views:
    280
  2. Kemetstry
    Replies:
    0
    Views:
    395
  3. Kemetstry
    Replies:
    40
    Views:
    1,350
  4. Kemetstry
    Replies:
    0
    Views:
    325
  5. Kemetstry
    Replies:
    0
    Views:
    357