Black Relationships : I'm on a challenge to find a husband

[Astrologer4U]

you been talking with that excel guy too much.

duh!! if i had a heart attack, i truly doubt that i could even get to the internet!! also, it wouldn't last near as long. on the other hand, once i got out of the hospital, i might very well "go to folk on the internet" to share with them strategies that have worked for other folk as i work to adjust my living to accommodate this new space that i am now in ... much like she has come here to work out her stuff.

are you trying to equate a "heart attack" with a "heart ache"? don't you know the difference? a heart attack can kill you; heart ache only makes one think they are gonna die.

bzzzt! wrong analogy; try again ... or not. please not?

Anafrican, he been over there for so long basking in excells attention, that he dun absorbed excells way's. I never would have figured that, James telling this young sister to seek professional help when, we as black people know that even a therapist cannot save someone, who does not want to be helped. This young woman has a good head on her shoulders and she got a lot of fire in her.


Sister


Astrologer4U

 

[JaylaMaria111]

You're a little hard to figure out. On the one hand, you can be quite blunt when it comes to self-expression in love. On the other, you can be sensitive and impressionable. In bed, you require a warm, sentimental, and sensuous partner or else you feel a little insecure, yet your romantic manner is spontaneous and direct. Confusing? Absolutely! But you are also very intriguing--a beguiling mix of independence and neediness. Your ideal partner recognizes that love and attraction keep you feeling alive and vital, so a relationship that has lost its spark will cause you to lose yours. Your romantic nature is moody, volatile, and dramatic at times! You may be flirtatious, yet you also maintain a certain level of caution and reserve. One day, you give of yourself fully, and the next day you are independent and seemingly not needy. You are a study in contradictions on a romantic level—you are both vulnerable and outspoken, for example. While you are sensitive, you can also “say it like it is” and upset a sensitive partner. You are uninterested in superficial relationships. You require a certain amount of depth, yet you are not always willing to open up. Although you are very romantic, you are also prone to fighting your emotions in an attempt to keep love at bay. This never completely works, however! Your passions are strong and sometimes extreme. Your lover is bound to find you a real challenge, simply because he/she doesn’t know what to expect. What your partner Can be sure of, however, is that you are passionate and never boring!

This is very, very true. When I had a boyfriend, he said that I confused him sometimes. One minute I would be very sad and crying, then the next moment I would fine and happy.

Or I would call him up crying about being lonely, needing friends/companionship, then I would disappear for weeks and he wouldn't be able to contact me.

I have moments where I really really need people, but then I need space to be alone and to clear my thoughts. I can be a loner/ introvert. I enjoy people's company but after awhile I need to get away to recharge my battery

This may mean you are attracted to people who challenge you, who are argumentative, or who pose some kind of problem for you to conquer; but it could also mean that you create challenges, whether or not this is a deliberate thing

Yep, this is also completely true. I've been described as being the type that likes to debate about deep topics. Those who like to talk about light hearted/superficial issues may view me as being argumentative.

Thank you so much for the reading I'm surprised at how accurate it is, I never really believed in astrology..now I'm thinking about looking into this more myself.

Just what steps do I need to make so that I can attract the right kind of man or people?


for instance right here

""This is where your power needs to come in. That man needed you, he befriended you. He is not your father, you don't have to be afraid about dissapointing him. You will have to take out some tme to learn how to deal wth the selfish people who try to pull on your energy and presence. Moving right along with the rest of your post"...."

I am always attracting "energy vampires", this started around high school. They can be either male or female (in this case female friends) When I cut these people loose they literally come crawling back to try to suck the life out of me again. They are often people who take advantage of my vulnerabilities.

 

[JaylaMaria111]

@Jamesfrmphilly


You should have researched this young women before you conlcuded that she was looking for a pity party, what an insult to bestow upon our young people when they come to us in search of guidance.


Does this look like the words of someone who is looking for a pity party...

"I am glad I came here because on most mainstream forums they would have simply told me to "get over it", and to accept his opinion.

And although it IS his opinion and he has a right to it, it doesn't feel very right to me to be friends with a black man who thinks that my hair is inferior to straight hiar no matter how you look at it. I often find myself resenting him. We have gotten into arguments about this, and our friendship has been put on the line. Some of the things he says in the midst of the argument just further infuriates me and drains all of my energy..the way he describes nappy hair on black women as being "masculine" "extremely unattractive" is just very unsettling and depressing IMO. What angers me even more is that he wears his hair natural, yet he thinks it's wrong for black women to wear their god given hair.

I have purposely not spoken to him in several days. When he calls I refuse to pick up the phone."

http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=53465



Sister


Astrologer4U

I have not spoken to him since.

These type of people love to leech on to me. I made it clear to him that we can no longer be friends.

But they always try to come crawling back to suck the life out of me. He has tried to get other people to call me and persuade us into being friends again.

I won't. But I just can't go through this anymore. I just can't.

I also used to tell him how I was insecure about my skin color yet he would inflict pain by making remarks about how he wants to vacation with mixed and latina women. Or that he made a new friend with a very pretty lightskin girl with long straight silky hair. A friend would not joke like that if he knew how much I struggled with my self image. It's not funny. At least not to me

Lately, I have been a loner. So I don't have many friends right now. I stopped being friends with him, and the others who were cool with him too.

 

[anAfrican]

you are NOT helping this Young Lady!

bzzzt! wrong analogy; try again ... or not. please not?

black people suffer from untreated and undiagnosed mental illness.
to deny that is counter productive.

from heart attack to mental illness. smh

did you see this by any chance in the identity crisis thread? (do note that the quotes around "i" denotes that i am speaking as the Africans that insist upon calling ourselves "black people".)

through not knowing who "I" am, "i" allow others to "identify" me from the outside. this may not fit who "i" actually am. however, through having had this process continue for too danged many years ("400"? "1300"?) that bad fit has compounded itself into internal arguments with "myself" as to who "i" think "i" am. (that is not "schizophrenia", that would be more "dissociative identity disorder" (formerly "multiple personality disorder"), one manifestation of "post traumatic stress disorder".)

sometimes i gotta wonder if you are also crying out for help and support. because just sometimes, this is the only way folks that have grown up with the hardships that you have grown up with know how to ask for that necessary support, healing and love. [tease]perhaps we should drag a couch in for you?[/tease]

please stop beating up on this dear young lady that has come to us for support. given what she has written, your responses are gonna resonate too strongly in her thereby reinforcing the crap that that fella and her father keep trying to hammer home in her!!

Peace Be With You, myBrother!

 

[Astrologer4U]

Thank you so much for the reading I'm surprised at how accurate it is, I never really believed in astrology..now I'm thinking about looking into this more myself.

That reading was only the surface, it goes real deep, and deeper than deep. If you can obtain your time of birth time, which should be on your birth certificate...

Just what steps do I need to make so that I can attract the right kind of man or people?

You need to accept what you first mind say's to you, and let the individuals who leach off of you, know where you stand. If you are in your emotionally needy mood, and you don't want to go there at the time, come back when you have your strength, then let them have it. Also, you will just need to distance your self from those who misuse you, until they prove themselves worthy of your friendship and presence.

for instance right here

"This is where your power needs to come in. That man needed you, he befriended you. He is not your father, you don't have to be afraid about dissapointing him. You will have to take out some tme to learn how to deal wth the selfish people who try to pull on your energy and presence. Moving right along with the rest of your post"...."

I am always attracting "energy vampires", this started around high school. They can be either male or female (in this case female friends) When I cut these people loose they literally come crawling back to try to suck the life out of me again. They are often people who take advantage of my vulnerabilities.

When they come crawling back, if you choose to give them another chance, it will have to be under certain circumstances. You will have to let people know where you stand at all times. They can either accept it, or keep it moving because you are going to make it, and you don't need to settle for less...


I am here little sister if you need any more assistance. Just


If you have any questions about this post, let me know.



Sister


Astrologer4U