Black Relationships : I'm on a challenge to find a husband

Destee

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Jan 22, 2001
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At 24 years old your focus should be on educating yourself and truly finding out who you are before trying to hook up with a mate.

It is apparent from your post that you are not ready to marry anyone.

You mentioned being depressed several times and that is a big indicater that there are issues/problems you need to resolve.

You have years to find a mate. Find yourself, first.

Good luck.
Sister AntBee ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :wave:

Thanks for joining us and sharing.

Please make yourself at home, because you are.

Much Love and Peace.

:heart:

Destee
 

anAfrican

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sizzaleenmean!! "can we get you hot; can we make your temperature rise" (currently playing)
Any way, how beautiful do you think my nose is? You haven't said anything about it. I posted my nose in the avatar for you. Let me know what you think about my nose so I can change the avatar back to my roaming eye. :look:

Astrologer4U
lQQn
:jawdrop: :luv: forget about any "roaming eye"!! please!!!​

when i looked close enough to realize that that was, in fact, a nose, i could only wonder about how that nose fit in with the rest of the face to generate such a feeling of "momma, i don't like my nose" ("no nose job"!!). i thought, at the time, that "that nose looks like it is part of a rather pretty face". <whew>

i was wrong; that is a very beautiful face!

reminds me of something i learned long ago:

"the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.
give it up, high yella; it ain't no use!"

the rest of this planet is krazee: Beauty is Dark!


but, Sister JaylaMaria111, the most important thing to realize is that you are gonna be the only "you" that will ever exist. forever is entirely too much time to spend not Loving You for ALL of Your especially unique qualities!!
 

Astrologer4U

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sizzaleenmean!! "can we get you hot; can we make your temperature rise" (currently playing)
lQQn
:jawdrop: :luv: forget about any "roaming eye"!! please!!!​

when i looked close enough to realize that that was, in fact, a nose, i could only wonder about how that nose fit in with the rest of the face to generate such a feeling of "momma, i don't like my nose" ("no nose job"!!).

anAfrican, actually that is the avatar I just posted yesterday. That is not the initial nose shot that I had posted. Jayla took to long coming back to compliment me on my nose so I took that picture of my nose down. Actually, I just liked my natural hair, hair style in this picture and that is why I posted it. How did you post my picture like that? I hope when I change my avatar that picture will come down.



Astrologer4U
 

anAfrican

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anAfrican, actually that is the avatar I just posted yesterday. That is not the initial nose shot that I had posted. Jayla took to long coming back to compliment me on my nose so I took that picture of my nose down.
i saw the nose shot ... well, it didn't quite look like a nose until i took my glasses off and scooted up to within six inches of the screen on account of it being so small.

Actually, I just liked my natural hair, hair style in this picture and that is why I posted it.
natural is always best! looks Divine!

like i said; kinda hard to comment on a nose when is it shown out of context with the rest of the face. but seeing the rest of the face, i'd offer up a request to bring more of the natural if you would! but i kept a copy of the pic for my "Sisters @ Destee" folder.

kinda got me to thinking, as i browsed back through that folder, that maybe a "Dark Sisters of Destee.Com Represent" thread might be useful to help Sister JaylaMaria111 feel a bit better about her complexion?

How did you post my picture like that? I hope when I change my avatar that picture will come down.

Astrologer4U
i right clicked on the avatar, selected "view image"; right clicked on that image, selected "image location"; pasted that link into the message box and put img tags around it. i would imagine that the pic will change to whatever image becomes your avatar. (but i would imagine that doing so would necessitate modifications to both the post i made and your reply.)
 

phynxofkemet

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Change Starts Inside

There are times when I feel fine Astrolger, then I'll hear or witness something and it just sets me back

I'm 24 now. There are days when I don't even want to go to school, I just want to stay in bed all day and never leave the house. In class, I heard a group of young guys discussing the whole lightskin/darksin thing and it set me back into a depression again.


I can cope as long as I am in a very controlled environment, but if the environment is not something I can control, everything just falls apart and I sink into an incredibly low depression. I get lost

Even when I go to the mall, there are certain stores I avoid and never go into anymore because it will cause me to sink into a depression and feel self hate. In the mall, there are urban stores that only hire lightskin girls, when I go into them to shop I feel inferior.Also in these stores it attracts a certain crowd, the type of crowd that I have never felt accepted by.

of us with our beliefs. I do understand what's happening with you, because I've had beliefs emerge from my subconscious to my conscious mind and I began to see my beliefs everywhere. The fact that your beliefs about your dark skin, and your beauty are arising is a blessing - it means your mind is pushing the toxic thoughts to the surace where they will reveal and then heal!

I am about to venture into my training for belief-repatterning Practitioner level. I have worked with one other person showing them how this process works, let me know if you are interested and I will share this technique with you.

On a personal note, Jayla I empathsize with you, because I thought I would be married and I'm right in the middle of my thirties. I have one child, but I would have loved to have had two more. Being pregnant was wonderful and I love, love being a mom. Unfortunately, the dad and I aren't married, and I realize that I have some in the meantime stuff before I can consider relationships again. I came to this world for the purpose of love, so being single is not my prefered state. Did I mention I'm a light skinned sister? Oh yeah, I am. And please, please, don't think that love is easier, better or more attainable for us cuz that's just not true!

I loved a King once so much that I asked him to marry me! Yep I did. He said no and married himself a nice dark skinned girl of his own culture. She was the "ideal" Black woman, and me being only a half-breed racially and culturally didn't measure up. So, hon, it goes both ways. The thing we have to accept as womben is to accept ourselves for who and what we are, not for images that rate us, divide us and make us feel unloveable.

Before I sign off, may I suggest that dating the white man is a sign that you are desparately needing to change your beliefs and uplift your feelings before you attract "punishment". I call it punishment because white folks have very little empathy, and ultimately the beauty you cannot find in yourself will be reflected by an ugliness he will show you. Heal your mind first before you consider intimacy is my strong suggestion.
 

anAfrican

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(hmmm ... it was right about the time i responded to Sister A4U with how i put the pic in the thread that i started noticing things. and post 212 is the post that has her avatar in it twice. hmm)

anyway; test: does this show up on the front page as the last post?
 

JaylaMaria111

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So far, all that you have stated is hearsay Jayla. Again little Sis, you never applied for a job there so you really don't know the truth. You need to seek out information on your own so that you don't get caught up in believing in hearsay. It's already bad enough that you think important people think Dark skin and African features are ugly which is all hearsay and speculation based on ignorance. Any way, how beautiful do you think my nose is? You haven't said anything about it. I posted my nose in the avatar for you. Let me know what you think about my nose so I can change the avatar back to my roaming eye. :look:




Astrologer4U

There is nothing wrong with your nose, it is beautiful.

it's just that I feel as a black woman, my beauty has absolutely no value. I listen to what black guys find attractive Christina Millian, Beyonce, Rihanna, you rarely hear them talk about dark complected women with black features as being the most attractive. I'm at a point where I don't even care anymore. I just will stay single and celibate to protect myself from the world
 

Astrologer4U

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There is nothing wrong with your nose, it is beautiful.

it's just that I feel as a black woman, my beauty has absolutely no value. I listen to what black guys find attractive Christina Millian, Beyonce, Rihanna, you rarely hear them talk about dark complected women with black features as being the most attractive. I'm at a point where I don't even care anymore. I just will stay single and celibate to protect myself from the world
Did you see the first avatar picture of my nose only?

Any way...

Jayla, it is better to stay celibate than to give your self up to men who will rob you of your body. Trust me, there is nothing wrong with being celibate. You don't need to rush into bed with a man to feel as though you are in a relationship. Now, you are making some sense when you decide to keep your body for yourself until the time is right. You have your celibate time to work on your self, which I am sure will do you some good. Ultimately, the choice is yours for good or for worse.




Astrologer4U
 

anAfrican

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just wanted to toss out a thought or two about the "shades of Africa" aspect of this "issue":

whether as "the First People" or the "parents" of civilization, we are of the Bedrock of this particular planet. ain't nothing gonna grow or survive without Mother Earth. and any farmer gonna tell ya that you're gonna get the best yield, the best product out of the richest, darkest soil you can find. ... unless you wanna add artificial to the picture! but most of that stuff ultimately, eventually is shown to poison the ground and/or bear fruit that eventually messes up more than it helps/supports.

yeah; we got a skin tone that most closely resembles Mother Earth in Her Bestest Supportive state! and the richer the soil, the sweeter the Fruits that come out of Her/You!


Do the Thang, my fine Young Queen of Africa: Love the You that IS!


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sekou kasimu wrote on willa's profile.
What exactly is your ideology?!
I'll be honest. I like black culture forums, so I've signed up for this one, BX, and Lipstick Alley. I won't post too often, only on things that I'm really interested in. Nice to meet you. :)
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Hi Sister,
Miss you so much I hope all is well with you and yours!!
Love and Blessings!! :heart: :heart:
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