She got a job making $85,000 a year, so she left the hood. She sacrificed, said to heck with it all and went to school to be a paralegal. Broke Brothas don't interest her anymore. But they show up anyway. "Aye shawtie what it do?" says a grown Man to a grown Woman. His crownrow braids drizzle from the back of his cap. He's got a grill, and nerve. But she's learned a new trick. Rolling her eyes and walking off. She leased herself a $40,000 ride. Because she deserved it. She moved way across town into a peaceful middle to upper class community. In a $400,000 4 bedroom house with a 2 car garage, full basement and an open bar. Because she deserved it. She's been in and out of abusive relationships since the age of 12. Now she's 32. Her Father lost his mind and left before she was born, and her Mother lost her right mind after the Father left. Up until now life has been a cruel paradise. She knows Men wait until she walks away to look at her behind. But she knows no Man is willing to deal with what lays dormant behind it, memories of pain. She re-did her entire wardrobe. Shoes to match every single outfit in her closet. Manicures and pedicures every Saturday. Sunday she attends the local Church. They don't worship like Black folks do, but maybe God doesn't notice. She has everything her young heart desires. All except a Good Man. Her Jewish neighbors comment about it from time to time. An old couple still together since Hitler and the holocaust. "You're too pretty to be single!" The old Wife would say. She would smile back at her and continue to water her precious pink roses in her front walkway. When she lived in less peaceful times, Men were falling from the ceiling. She couldn't find a good Man then either. But a broke Man was easy to find, a dog, a good for nothing and a heartbreaker. She had a thing for Men who bragged on the length of their penis. It seemed to be the only thing they mastered well. She had a harddrive full of penis shots Men had send over the years via the internet. It was her most secretive obsession, her most painful curse. At night she reads books about relationships. She found out what she was attracting "good" Men all along. The author suggested that Women attract Men that match their situations and mental condition but not their hearts, and when a Woman has a terrible mental condition best believe a terrible Man will follow suit the rob her of what little self worth she had left. A good Man is simply a good match. When she went to work on changing her mind her situation changed, and oddly enough the line that went around the corner three times filled with Men in wait praying to "tap her booty" was now non-existent. Now what? She got the big house in preparation for a Man that would deserve it. She hoped to fill every bedroom with an offspring one day. But she doesn't bet on it. When she was wagging her behind around the hood Men would trip over their own feet trying to get a long whiff of her perfume. Even some of the most intelligent and well spoken Brothas just had a different approach to the game, but he basically wanted the same thing. She didn't just go to school to be a paralegal, she went to school to become a realistic thinker- a void within the female collective. When she gave up the fantasies fed to her as a child, she started to see the world for what is was. _ucked up. Last week she worked on a case where a Man shot his Wife and his Girlfriend. He said he did it because they were both possessed by the devil. No matter how horrible the case, she can stomach it. After all, she's a Black Woman. So today she calls me up and says she can't find a good Man. I told her stop looking and start enjoying life. She told me her biological clock was ticking. I told her to pull out the batteries. She said it was solar powered. I told her to blot out the Sun. She said life doesn't work that way. She had a deep spiritual desire to be with a good Man, but no good Men or good matches are showing up. She mentions the looks she get from the White Men on her job and it scares her. She mentioned the looks she gets from the Women on her job and that scares her too. What, no Brothas at your job? She said two. "One gay and the other is married with 3 children, but still not my type either way." She goes to the gym 3 times a week in hopes that someone will notice the blessing she has in her sweat suit. Now she's re-thinking the whole physical attraction bit. At least it's a start. I asked her why was she looking for her equal? She said she needed a Man who was just as or more successful than she was. She dated a Brotha in the Military for awhile and he left her stating she was too attached to the memories of Men in her past. She claimed the Military made him insane. Black Men don't need the Military to make them insane. BET is enough. She asked me where is the Man for her? The perfect match. I used my psychic mind to find him. I said he was in Kenya playing football with his two Brothers. She said "I don't want no African, I want a Black Man here in America who will treat me as his African Princess- I'm not trying to be like Stella getting her groove back." I told her I found another one. He was a Sanitation worker who had already saved up $15,000 to start his own delivery service. She rejected that thought as well. She can't find a Good Man. She asked me why was that. I said "because you're still trying to find yourself- you can't match shoes with an outfit you haven't purchased yet."