My mother used to say "won't nothing hurt you but your mouth". As a vulnerable people living among our open enemy we have to be careful about the terms and phrases we use in public and on the media. One such phrase I'd like to draw particular attention to is the oft-repeated phrase: "It's so hard to find a GOOD Black man." Now most of our sisters don't say this, only a few do and most do not actuall mean ill intent by using the phrase. But if we really examine this statement from a different angle; what we're really saying indirectly is MOST BLACK MEN ARE BAD. We are conditioning ourself to accept that most Black men are no good. If we are conditioned to accept this, then it's only a matter of time before our enemy uses this acceptance of our "moral inferiority" to thier advantage and act on it. Imagine if the white chief of police said there were no Blacks on his force because it's so hard to find a GOOD Black man he could trust. Then he began to lock up as many Black men as he could find because MOST of us were no good. But YOU bore witness to that "fact"....so how could you protest how the Black man is treated when you agree with him that most are no good? Imagine if the president came on television and said most Black men were no good and someting must be done about it. You said it....so if it's a fact why can't he? You're just TALKING and not watching how you word things, but they are THINKING and STUDYING every word you say and every move you make. If you say most of your men are no good.....they hear that as the go-ahead to do whatever. Now we know most of the sistaz who say this don't actually hate or even dislike Black men. What she really means is it's hard to find HER TYPE of Black man. Some like wealthy Black men...but there aren't enough wealthy Black men to go around. Some like great lovers....but there aren't enough of them to go around. Some like sweet gentle men.....but there aren't enough of them to go around. There are a lot of men around but you aren't attracted to most of them. But don't write them off as "bad" or "no good" just because there is no chemistry. It's hard for some people to find their TYPE, but you don't have to condemn them just because ou don't find them attractive. So rather than saying we can't find any GOOD men/women.....those of us who are in search should say we can't find OUR TYPE of man/woman.