Black Relationships : The perfect question to find a MAN

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by A007, Aug 22, 2006.

  1. A007

    A007 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2001
    Messages:
    1,778
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    memphis, Tn
    Ratings:
    +115
    My friends and I (I am male they are female) have been going around and around about the choices women make in men and trying to find one good question to ask on the first date or before granting the first date. I think we have it.

    Ask the brother.... " What are your 2 biggest WEAKNESSES in a relationship?"

    Now this is a great question because it will weed out the players, pimps, and conceited men because they will say " I don't have any" Then you tell them ..." Well you don't have me!!" Because all of us have weaknesses.

    It will also weed out the B.S.ers because they will say some bull that they heard on doctor Phil that sounds canned like men are from mars and I am not doing what works for me, etc.

    That leaves only 2 kinds of men. The thinker who will honestly say.."I haven't really thought about it. Let me get back to you." This won't be alot of men because our egos won't let us show that we don't know something (especially while trying to impress a woman). Or the enlightened who has experienced and learned from his past relationships and is trying to get better who will say " I was too controlling, too immature, not ready for commitment, etc." The weaknesses are not a bad thing unless they are doing nothing to change them.

    It has worked to ward off plenty of bad dates for my female friends. And, has worked to find a good man for one of my friends. What do yall think?
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,977
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,177
    interesting facts and finds yet true .
     
  3. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    3,527
    Likes Received:
    36
    Ratings:
    +38
    Alot of men are upfront but we as women sometimes misinterpet what they say.
    If you ask a man his expectations and he says oh let's be friends first and he knows you are seeking a relationship run!!!!!!!1 don't stick around waiting to see if he will possibly change his mind.
    Make it mutual so there will not be any misunderstandings in the future..
     
  4. Sweet baby_face

    Sweet baby_face Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2003
    Messages:
    1,332
    Likes Received:
    7
    Occupation:
    Student by day, Poet by night
    Location:
    DETROIT
    Ratings:
    +7
    That is very interesting. "What are yr weaknesses?"
    Because a lot of us are so quick to constantly stress our
    strengths and keep our weaknesses under wraps. But by keeping our
    weaknesses swept under the rug,we are doomed to being redundant in
    our choices in relationships. And that's my two cents on the subject matter.
     
  5. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2002
    Messages:
    3,299
    Likes Received:
    182
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Economist
    Location:
    Detroit, MI
    Home Page:
    Ratings:
    +236
    Another question that gets right at the core is: WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED FROM YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIPS ABOUT YOURSELF AND WHAT TYPE OF WOMAN (MAN) YOU PREFER?

    People who are serious about a relationship have answered those questions. :D
     
  6. maatmama

    maatmama Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2002
    Messages:
    56
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    Thanks I have a "first" date this weekend and will ask these.....I thought I had a good set of questions, but I didn't have those....thanks again
     
  7. dajiboo

    dajiboo Active Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2006
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    I think of I'm going to try this one out. I'm so tried of all the tried playas and their tried games, maybe that'll ward them off so I can find me a real and enlightened man. Thanks for the advice
     
  8. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2002
    Messages:
    3,299
    Likes Received:
    182
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Economist
    Location:
    Detroit, MI
    Home Page:
    Ratings:
    +236
    I think you're going about this the wrong way. One or two questions aren't going to stop you from having a bad relationship by scaring off a wanna-be playa. If a playa is on his game, he may be able to address those questions with relatively good answers. The best way to deal with someone who's not good for you is to leave them alone as soon as they treat you badly. It's as simple as that.

    Most of us want a quick and dirty way of finding someone good. But it doesn't work that way. You have to put in the work. You MUST take care of you. A person may be ok in the beginning and then start treating you bad. What do you do then? Stay it hoping the good times will come back? NOOOO You leave. When someone treats you bad, you leave. It's that simple.

    No amount of questions can help you avoid a brokenheart. Only your love for self can do that.
     
  9. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    3,527
    Likes Received:
    36
    Ratings:
    +38
    I couldn't agree more.
    Alot of us are afraid of a broken heart,
    that's why many avoid relationships.
    Self love is very very important.
    When someone treats you like crap and you still stay,
    that means that somewhere down the road during or before the relationship you lost the very part of you that protects you from such,
    self love and self respect.
     
  10. A007

    A007 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2001
    Messages:
    1,778
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    memphis, Tn
    Ratings:
    +115

    I agree that the questions will not keep people from having bad relationships. That is not the intent. The intent is to find out what kind of man (or woman) we are about to go out with or not go out with in some cases.

    I think that may be a good question in itself. " how have you treated you previous mates badly?" I am sure there will be a number of crazy answers to that one, with the leader being " i didn't do anything to treat my mates badly'
     
Loading...