Strong, intelligent black women I need ya'll to help me. Seven months ago I started my first real, deep relationship. It has also been my longest. This relationship has been an adventure for me and also a learning experience. I have found that I am a person who wants to "wear the pants" in the relationship. I have always been a take charge kind of person. Unfortunately, I have found out that you cannot be this way in a relationship. People say that I constantly "check" my boyfriend. I always deny this accusation, but in the back of my mind I know it's true. He just recently said that I treat him like that and its got to stop. I am afraid of becoming a submissive woman in the process of trying to be a "good" girlfriend. How do I find the harmony of not losing my warrior side without surpressing his? Help me out.