Black Relationships : Help a sista out please!

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by lovetoloveyou, Jun 14, 2010.

  1. lovetoloveyou

    lovetoloveyou Member MEMBER

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    I need advice badly! Help!

    Me and my ex do NOT speak AT ALL. But about two weeks ago we spoke briefly over text and i decided to surprise him with an unexpected visit. Well what I didnt expect was a woman to be there-especially the woman he was with before me. They have been on and off for 11 years!

    Well, I didnt say anything, I just left and I called him asking how he could do that to me-I cried, and was really upset. Well he came over to talk about things and he spent the night. I was in heaven! He also told me that that woman was there to stay in his life-and that she was very important to her and he has deep feelings for her and has feelings for me but not enough to pursue me-WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!!

    Well he spent the night and like I said I was in heaven!! I tried to act normal as we were before and he informed me its human nature to have feelings for someone you were once involved with but AGAIN i wont or will pursue you. Look at the whole pie and not just one night of me coming to visit you!

    WHat does all of this mean?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

    Mind you for the past two weeks, we have been texting and etc..and out of the blue he calls me and tells me again "its not going to be anything with me and him and that the writing is on the wall" bringing up the woman he said was very "important to him". After this same conversation, he text me two days later and we've been doing this.

    (I know this question will be asked and yes sexual content has been exchanged via text)-That is not the majority of what is exchanged.

    Can yall help a sista out and decipher this mess please?!
     
  2. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    He is playing with your MIND...This man only wants your for sex and that's it...No strings attached...Except the string he is using on you....

    Stop allowing him in your life...He wants someone else...He stated this in stating the importance of this other woman.

    Texting "sexual content"? Girl! SMH...

    Leave him alone.
     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :fyi: you a jump off, enjoy.......
     
  4. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    And another thing...

    How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
     
  5. lovetoloveyou

    lovetoloveyou Member MEMBER

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    Girl! I'm thinking okay we chatting again, because I still love him you know. So of course, I have the positive thoughts, possibly mind playing tricks on me. And then when I ask him in depth, what does he mean by "importance" he just tells me "she is very important to him, and that she will always be in his life" so me of course thinking on another spectrum is thinking-FRIEND.

    I know girl. I got caught up in the excitement of having him back in my life-so the text were exciting but as well as confusing. One minute hes chatting with me, the next he doesnt, then the next hes asking "would i ever be with him again" and then back to telling me nothing will come out of this...


    oohh wee..
     
  6. lovetoloveyou

    lovetoloveyou Member MEMBER

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    Thanks for the bluntness James!!! lol Seriously though thank you..

    its funny how you go from girlfriend to an jumpoff..crazy
     
  7. lovetoloveyou

    lovetoloveyou Member MEMBER

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    29 turning 30 according to my momma...still a young chicken ;-)
     
  8. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You love this piece of crap, cause why? What has he done for you lately to still love him? Sounds to me like he doesn't love you. Probably doesn't really even love this other chick either.

    Like Jamesfrmphilly said, you're a jump-off.

    Jump off that ship and swim waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay across the other side of the ocean away from this piece of work.

    This other girl is his ex of 11 years?! ****...Well, how long have you been his ex?

    "Important" probably cause they got some serious history going, and the sex is real good...Do they have kids together?
     
  9. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    No that's not crazy...it's sad...It's reality...

    :10500: You're 29? And you haven't figured all this out yet? Come on now! You aren't that young!! It's not like you 19 or something...
     
  10. lovetoloveyou

    lovetoloveyou Member MEMBER

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    Let me put my life vest on!! Yes 11 years, I do know that have a great history, great friends, even when we were together, he wouldn't let her go her own way even though she did. I thought they were threw though-guess not. They still going strong I see..We were together through 06-08. Hes changed too. Hes really getting his life on track which is fantastic-I guess i was thinking because of the contact we could continue the relationship to maybe something more.

    They have no children together.
     
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