Brothas, Am I Right to Feel Insulted?

[river]

Yes brotha Sun Ship, there is a deep historical aspect to this issue. I am perhaps too young to take it as deep as it can go, but I can see a few things.

I think part of the reason for the double standard when it comes to Black and white stay at home men is because Black women have always had to work outside the home. While white women yearn for the economic and personal independence of Black women Black women yearn for the luxury white women have historically enjoyed. Thus while the white woman values a man who will keep the home front while she goes out to actualize her dreams, the Black woman values a man who will "sit her down," so to speak. While white women are eager to pull Black women into the women's lib movement as bodies, this disparity of agenda is dismissed and suppressed as a divisive factor. Yet when Black women get involved in the white woman's agenda without honestly addressing our own historical needs there can only be confusion and a backlash from younger generations.

The same mutual envy flows between Black and white men. When I was growing up many brothas complained that they had to work twice as hard and have three times the education and skills as their white counterparts who seemed to just ooze through with far less to offer. The resistance of white supremacists to Affirmative Action made it impossible for that program to bring about the desired atmosphere of equality.

When the confused desirs of Black and white men met with the confused desirs of Black and white women the natural result is more confusion.

 

[MRLEGEND]

No, I wouldn't...because that just gives them an avenue to further destroy you. I don't know how many women loved to blurt out a brother don't have a job and he is worthless...ON TV & REAL LIFE

as if a job shows character...especially in these hard times in today's economy...citigropu just let go of 9,000 jobs...and you mean I cannot find love unless I have a pay check...

let's face it, our women are natual born passive golddiggers... meaning that they say "ohh it don't matter if he got a job or not", but let a month go by, and it' " ohh we don't never go no where, or do nothing"...

this is disgusting, and in these times we need to be together as possible, but it seems as though we as BM have to fight the system, and our so called "sistahs" for regular respect


BlackMenVent.com

 

[mazimtaim]

No, I wouldn't...because that just gives them an avenue to further destroy you. I don't know how many women loved to blurt out a brother don't have a job and he is worthless...ON TV & REAL LIFE

as if a job shows character...especially in these hard times in today's economy...citigropu just let go of 9,000 jobs...and you mean I cannot find love unless I have a pay check...

let's face it, our women are natual born passive golddiggers... meaning that they say "ohh it don't matter if he got a job or not", but let a month go by, and it' " ohh we don't never go no where, or do nothing"...

this is disgusting, and in these times we need to be together as possible, but it seems as though we as BM have to fight the system, and our so called "sistahs" for regular respect


BlackMenVent.com

?????

Why are you here?

 

[Ionlyspeaktruth]

In the BIG Picture...

Me, maybe I am crazy(no wise cracks) but I would rather have a sister with no job who is good, supportive and all thos qualities that go into making a woman a "good one" then one that had a lot of $ but did not meet my needs. I do not judge my friends on where or if they work, what they have etc.... You might miss out on a once in a lifetime mate. I cannot tell you how to feel and you have your own set of guidelines but those are mine. We should all seek "partners" and as in business, the partner does not always bring $ to the table. sometimes they bring something much greater.

 

[Mr Gumbo]

Brothas, I know this is a question that sistas like to ask each other, but I wanted to get your perspective on this.

The other day a brotha stepped to me. The man lives with his daughter and they don't have a phone. I assume he doesn't have a job either, but I didn't ask him all that. He had stepped to me once before and used the southern code words "Can I come see you" a la Mae West "Come up and see me some time." I declined as graciously as I always do, but as I walked away I suddenly felt kinda offended. This man is crashing on his daughhter, ain't got nothing and gonna step to me without an ounce of shame like I ain't nothing. Just step to me with any old kind of raggedy mess. I could not help feeling insulted.

How do you know he doesn't have a job, you stated that you didn't ask him that. You never know what someone's situation is and without talking to him you really don't have any idea but assumed he doesn't have anything.

I know it's not easy for a brotha to find a job. But I remember when brotha Street was dealing with stuff he wasn't out there trying to talk to women. He was out there getting his game together. That's all I ask for. I don't need a man to be rich before I will talk to him. But at least be able to take care of himself. Because if he can't then he needs to be doing something to make his life better. I mean, if a man ain't about trying to make his own life better why should I think he's coming to make mine better? Have some respect for yourself. Have some respect for me. That's all I'm saying.

Just because you are having rough times doesn't mean you shouldn't have a good woman. Now if he came at you all disrespectful then yes you should be offended, but if he just tried to holla at you and you wasn't with it you the right thing and you shouldn't be offended.