Black People : advice for a white woman

[Chesney]

My whole purpose is not to insult. This is not just about making money. Far from it because actually, so far, the black women who have been clients have spent far less money then my white clients. I have enjoyed shooting their weddings more than most of the white weddings I have done. That is why I am interested in pursuing their business. When I started my website I didn't do it with the intention of targeting any certain race. I just put it out there. I would be asking the same question if these women were asian, indian, eastern, etc. If I moved to a new town that had mostly say... Italians, I would be researching Italian culture. This is part of what makes many white women afraid to approach black women. Your response sounds very defensive and I am trying to find a way to connect in a respectful way with a group of women that I find very interesting.


As for seeking friendships with "black" women or rather not seeking them, I have always made friends through opportunities. How odd would it be if I sought out women simply because they were black, asian, etc. However now that the opportunity has risen I am simply trying to do a little research to avoid offending. I am trying to get to know about my potential clients and /or friends. I am trying to research culture. Even if I never get another black client now that I have been exposed to these particular women, I would still like to become friends and find out more about them. The man who does my nails is asian. We have had many interesting conversations about the difference in our cultures. Neither one of us has ever been offended in the interest the other has had. I have asked many of the same questions about what is proper in his culture in contrast to the way that things are done in mine. It has never once occurred to me that he is only asking questions or answering them because he wanted to glean more business from me but even if he was I wouldn't care. The man has a business and if that information helps him to further it then good for him.

 

[Kemetstry]

Thanks! if it works how about a free sesion!

See, you're about to learn a cultural difference right here.



10% means 10%. Cash! No checks, money orders, etc.



I'll send my accountant and lawyer by. Just sign and no one gets hurt!

 

[Kemetstry]

My whole purpose is not to insult. This is not just about making money. Far from it because actually, so far, the black women who have been clients have spent far less money then my white clients. I have enjoyed shooting their weddings more than most of the white weddings I have done. That is why I am interested in pursuing their business. When I started my website I didn't do it with the intention of targeting any certain race. I just put it out there. I would be asking the same question if these women were asian, indian, eastern, etc. If I moved to a new town that had mostly say... Italians, I would be researching Italian culture. This is part of what makes many white women afraid to approach black women. Your response sounds very defensive and I am trying to find a way to connect in a respectful way with a group of women that I find very interesting.


As for seeking friendships with "black" women or rather not seeking them, I have always made friends through opportunities. How odd would it be if I sought out women simply because they were black, asian, etc. However now that the opportunity has risen I am simply trying to do a little research to avoid offending. I am trying to get to know about my potential clients and /or friends. I am trying to research culture. Even if I never get another black client now that I have been exposed to these particular women, I would still like to become friends and find out more about them. The man who does my nails is asian. We have had many interesting conversations about the difference in our cultures. Neither one of us has ever been offended in the interest the other has had. I have asked many of the same questions about what is proper in his culture in contrast to the way that things are done in mine. It has never once occurred to me that he is only asking questions or answering them because he wanted to glean more business from me but even if he was I wouldn't care. The man has a business and if that information helps him to further it then good for him.

What city is your busness located in, please?

 

[cherryblossom]

My whole purpose is not to insult. This is not just about making money. Far from it because actually, so far, the black women who have been clients have spent far less money then my white clients. I have enjoyed shooting their weddings more than most of the white weddings I have done. That is why I am interested in pursuing their business. When I started my website I didn't do it with the intention of targeting any certain race. I just put it out there. I would be asking the same question if these women were asian, indian, eastern, etc. If I moved to a new town that had mostly say... Italians, I would be researching Italian culture. This is part of what makes many white women afraid to approach black women. Your response sounds very defensive and I am trying to find a way to connect in a respectful way with a group of women that I find very interesting.

It is of no matter the amount of money your previous Black clients spent. The crux of your request here is how to extend your business within the Black market (if you can) because you've had no previous experiences with Black people as well as learn "How To Win Friends & Influence Black People"

So, if my stance appears "defensive" to you, please try to understand my position as a Black woman...That, too, is a part of you understanding/relating to Black women/Black culture....Here you are, a White woman, on a website, although not exclusive, but created for/geared toward Black people asking advice on how to better communicate/interact with Black women, personally and professionally. ----Surely, you can comprehend that your motives may be suspect, be they sincere or not.

However, as a photographer, what is so different in just sitting down with your clients, be they White, Black, Italian, Asian, or other, and going over what they want, how they want it?----Wouldn't that alleviate any "cultural differences" you're not acquainted with??

As for seeking friendships with "black" women or rather not seeking them, I have always made friends through opportunities. How odd would it be if I sought out women simply because they were black, asian, etc. However now that the opportunity has risen I am simply trying to do a little research to avoid offending. I am trying to get to know about my potential clients and /or friends. I am trying to research culture. Even if I never get another black client now that I have been exposed to these particular women, I would still like to become friends and find out more about them. The man who does my nails is asian. We have had many interesting conversations about the difference in our cultures. Neither one of us has ever been offended in the interest the other has had. I have asked many of the same questions about what is proper in his culture in contrast to the way that things are done in mine. It has never once occurred to me that he is only asking questions or answering them because he wanted to glean more business from me but even if he was I wouldn't care. The man has a business and if that information helps him to further it then good for him.

I was not implying that you "seek out" Black women, thereby targeting Black women.....I simply meant you have not sought any opportunities which involved you having some culturally diverse interactions with Black women or other races.

I just find it "interesting" to digest that, in over 40 years of life, you haven't had the opportunity to interact with or been exposed to Black women in school, as co-workers, in any extra-curricular activities, either personally or with your children (if you have any), i.e., PTA, soccer, little league, etc.., to have even observed or asked about cultural differences before now.

I, too, am in my 40s, born and raised in the South. However, as a child, teen and adult, I have been exposed to White people and other races with different cultural and religious mores.

So, I can't help but wonder how you can be so affable with the Asian man who does your nails, interacting/discussing cultural differences between you but be at such a "loss" over what and how to learn more about Black women with a desire to befriend some.

I have to wonder if your "opportunities" to participate in some "Cultural Diversity" are as truly scarce and sparse as you've represented here.

However, I do wish you well.

 

[Chesney]

Chesney

ok, fair enough... with the asian man... he is very friendly and I see him every 2 weeks when I get my nails done and he made it a point to ask me about myself. It was a gradual thing. I guess in general I am a fairly reserved person and no matter what race or gender it is hard for me to start conversation. So in this particular situation it is doubly hard because I am so fearful of appearing disrespectful or offensive. I have really been working on being more friendly and trying to develop relationships.

What I got from your previous reply was that I was seeking out black woman simply because I wanted to make money off of them. Let me say that I have a very successful business. It isn't as though I need business so I am looking toward these black women. I truly have enjoyed my experiences with these women. As it is already hard for me to initiate relationships I was really worried about saying anything offensive accidentially.

As for my opportunities.. at one point I was a legal secretary, we never had a black client, my children were in school .. which was our local and rural school, there weren't any black children, I went to church, we didn't have any black members. I do not now nor have I ever had a problem being friendly to anyone who is friendly to me.. I don't care what color, gender, religion or sexual orientation they are.