Black People : advice for a white woman

Chesney, now, it is YOU who appears "defensive."---Several times here you have defended the financial stability/soundness of your business, stressing that you do not "NEED" any additional Black consumers (especially since they spend WAY less than your White clients, anyway) and that your interest in Black women is not solely a professional pursuit.

However, my previous responses were not contrived by me in any way. I was responding/reacting to what you stated....


.... In the last few months I have shot severals weddings for some very lovely women who happen to be black. I have so enjoyed working with these women and to be quite honest I would like to do more.

I have not had the opportunity to get to know any women who happen to be black until now. .... I would also like to know how to advertise specifically to attract more of these clients but again I do not want to offend by asking. I would also like to know what to do to suit my business to be more accommodating to african american women. ....

.... I want to be respectful and friendly and I would truly like to know how to move forward in both personal and professional relationships.

..... I have just had a few experiences that have made me aware of another group of people that I am interested in serving and getting to know better and I am inquiring as to how to get to know them and their culture.

It is always wise to learn about something that you don't know alot about. When I have dealt with these black women I have treated them with respect and have kept in touch with them. Unlike my white brides. This is because I have found them likable and interesting. Not because I wanted to use them for business...

However, if you have "kept in touch" with some of your previous Black brides because you found them "likable and interesting," then what has prevented you from interacting with/learning more from THEM about Black women and Black culture?

In what way have you "kept in touch with them?"...by phone?...by email?

Have you ever used whatever mode of communication you have with those Black women to invite one or more out to lunch, coffee, dinner, meet-up for after work drinks?.....Have you attempted to pursue any opportunity to get to know those Black women better?---If you've "kept in touch with them," then you have some kind of access to them.

This new-found interest in Black women/Black culture is a direct result of your photography business. Before these professional experiences, you'd never had the opportunity to enjoy the company of Black women.

Moreover, these professional experiences which you enjoyed so much also evoked in you a desire to learn more about Black women because in your proximities with them, you found them to be so "outspoken" and spunky."

So, why would you not contact these previous Black brides whom you've "kept in touch" with and initiate a relationship separate from your previous professional introduction?
 
CB is always mad at somebody......

Brother James, I really don't appreciate that comment.

Yes, I have expressed my thoughts/perceptions on her statements and motives; but I have not attacked Chesney in any way.

In our own past opposing viewpoints (and w/others), YOU process anyone disagreeing with you as an "attack" or "disrespect."

However, as a BLACK WOMAN and being the very aim of Chesney's personal and professional goals, I have the RIGHT to question and analyze the whys, hows, and wherefores of her pursuit.

(And if she can't handle a strong, "outspoken" and "spunky" Black woman here, ON-LINE, then she sure is way over her head dealing with Black women in person.)

And I don't appreciate YOU, as my male counterpart, representing me as "always mad at somebody," aiding to perpetuate the stereotype of the "Angry Black Woman."

Moreover, I am so VERY surprised at YOUR participation in this subject....Any other time, YOU would be in here spouting off about "the global system of White supremacy" and "The White man is the problem...The Black man is the answer."

But, noooo!...Here YOU are, as a fellow tradesman, giving out photography advice, heading the "Welcoming Committee," and d@mn-near rolled out the Red Carpet to this White woman who comes onto a Black website to ask other Black women/Black people about their culture so she can make FRIENDS with some Black women where she lives as well as expand her business in advertising to accommodate more Black weddings cuz she really just don't know what to say or how to talk to Black people and she doesn't want to "offend" anyone.

And then, you, seemingly, seek to protect her from me, DISMISSING my rightful misgivings and viewpoints with "Oh, Chesney, don't mind, CherryBlossom...She's always mad at somebody."

*What the Hell is this?!....Have I entered an alternate TIME WARP this morning?!*
(This sho aint a TYPICAL display of YOUR usual reception of other races on Destee!)

Here is this White woman who claims to be so "reserved" and unsure of which way to step with Black people.

But, how "reserved" can one be to come onto a website chock-full of BLACK PEOPLE asking how to talk to other Black women in her area so she can make FRIENDS with some and, if possible, generate more business with Black brides because she suddenly realized how much she "ENJOYS" photographing Black weddings more than White ones because she found those Black women to be so "outspoken" and SPUNKY!"

Moreover....She enjoyed those Black weddings SO MUCH that she has even "KEPT IN TOUCH" with a few of those recent Black brides because they were so "likable and interesting!"

But, she's STILL at such a LOSS over what to do around/say to Black women.
So, she thought the BEST APPROACH to her dilemma would be to come to a Black website and ask other Black people for some advice (because she's so "RESERVED").

(However, it is SO easy to talk to the Asian man who does her nails.)

But she would TRULY like to get to know some Black women better, but the "OPPORTUNITY" has just never presented itself because she lives in a mostly White community and has never had much interaction with Black people and the Black brides she photographed live in "surrounding communities" from hers but she's "KEPT IN TOUCH" with some of them.


...As to your last question, I wouldn't say anything has prevented me it has just simply been that I have not come across the situation where the opportunity has arisen. I live in a community that is mostly white. The women who I have as clients who are black are from surrounding communities.

So, Brother James, since you, OBVIOUSLY, feel that MY views/perceptions are OFF-BASE and that my exchanges with Chesney are just evidence that I am "always mad at somebody," then, I will, GLADLY, leave YOU to continue to give out YOUR ADVICE to her on what she needs to do in order to better understand BLACK WOMEN.

Perhaps, you have even MORE professional advice you can give her to aid her photography business in dealing with Black brides and advertising or Trade Tips in negative development or angles or lighting, etc...
 
How you doin sis

I am a white female in my 40s. I am a wedding photographer. In the last few months I have shot severals weddings for some very lovely women who happen to be black. I have so enjoyed working with these women and to be quite honest I would like to do more. I have not had the opportunity to get to know any women who happen to be black until now. I absolutely do not want to sound racial or improper. I am at a loss as whats ok to say and not to say. What I mean is that I have noticed some very interesting, positive and pleasant cultural differences. I would like to comment on them and ask questions but I am very afraid to offend. I would also like to know how to advertise specifically to attract more of these clients but again I do not want to offend by asking. I would also like to know what to do to suit my business to be more accommodating to african american women. I am generally very easy to get along with and pretty easy going. I try to be careful and considerate with my friends and clients. It would not offend me to be asked about something that I did simply because I am of a different race than someone else. But I don't know that others feel that way.

I would appreciate any advice on these matters. I want to be respectful and friendly and I would truly like to know how to move forward in both personal and professional relationships.

freedom of speech means to say how ever you feel.

you have the right to be say and love what you choose.

treat people regardless of their "race" however they wish to be treated.

if they don't want to be your friend then it is a friend you don't need.

the best way to acheive happiness is to be true to who you are and how you feel without any animosity in your heart

be proud of who you are and your talents and draw like people to yourself regardless of what they identify with...

peace and many blessing sis.

much love to you, and i hope you find the peace that you seek.

Mrs. Lady (love and develop yourself)
 

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