Black Relationships : ADDRESSING THE MYTH OF FATHERLESS HOMES

[Full Speed]

Are we Born monogamous?

This is not a valid question because most people do not enter into relationships until at least a decade and a half or so after they are born. During this decade or so, they learn values which determine their actions concerning monogamy or polygamy.

You are not born monogamous, nor are you born polygamous.

Are we still attracted to others after we are married?

Yes, of course. This does not mean it is natural or good to fulfill this lust. At this point the questions I asked become very relevant. You did not want to answer these questions and tried to dismiss them as rhetoric. Are fat people still attracted to food after they have eaten a healthy amount??? Yes, of course they are. This does not mean it is natural or good to fulfill this lust.

 

[Full Speed]

I made CLEAR what my position is. ""if it is something TAUGHT....then it is NOT NATURAL it is a social construct."" Your examples of smoking, obesity, and drugs make my point for me. WE ARE NOT BORN OBESE, SMOKING, OR DOING DRUGS...hence they are UNNATURAL. We ARE NOT BORN MONOGAMOUS hence it is UNNATURAL.

We are not born monogamous, nor are we born polygamous. WE ARE NOT BORN OBESE, BUT WE ARE BORN EATING. Many people, without being taught constraint and healthy eating habits will fulfill the lust to over eat. (Just look at the obesity within the Black community) Likewise, many people, without being taught constraint and healthy behavior concerning relationships, will fulfill the lust to screw everything that moves.

 

[Full Speed]

I never alluded to the sheer numbers except as a QUESTION as to why so many people fail to be monogamous. You didn't answer that with a straight answer either.

Because we must be taught constraint and healthy lifestyles. We do not always do what is good for us, but what feels good to us. The same applies to eating or exercise, we do what feels good to us. It requires discipline and self-constraint to do what IS good for us.

People fail to be monogamous because they do not have the character or disipline to exercise constraint and choose to do what feels good to them rather than what is good for them.

 

[Full Speed]

Your assumption about the number of open relationships is a terrible one based on nothing. And your assumption about pedophiles is ridiculous because in many countries still to this day 13 year old women get married and have sex with GROWN MEN. So, of course their are more of them than open relationships...but not more of them than men and women who cheat, in polygamous marriages, or swinging. I have never studied pedophilia in America. But, I HAVE studied monogamy and it is a SOCIAL CONSTRUCT not what we were born with.

Speaking of assumptions, you just glazed over my request that you validify your assertion that you based your statements on "published material".

By "published", I did not mean in Playboy magazine, I meant in a respectable scientific journal or at least something backed up by a controlled study. Please point me to this "published material" which supposedly supports your claim.

 

[A007]

Speaking of assumptions, you just glazed over my request that you validify your assertion that you based your statements on "published material".

By "published", I did not mean in Playboy magazine, I meant in a respectable scientific journal or at least something backed up by a controlled study. Please point me to this "published material" which supposedly supports your claim.

Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage by Jenny Block
Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino
The New Intimacy: Open-Ended Marriage and Alternative Lifestyles by Ronald Mazur
Womens Health
YourTango.com
Polymorysociety.org


And just for some star support...lol

Will Smith on his open marriage to Jada:

According to a recent interview with UK magazine Reveal, Will Smith says “Our perspective is, you don’t avoid what’s natural and you’re going to be attracted to people.”

Ossie Davis on open marriage to Ruby Dee:

Ossie: "It occurred to us, from observation and reasoning, that extramarital sex was not what really destroyed marriages, but rather the lies and deception that invariably accompanied it -- that was the culprit. So we decided to give ourselves permission to sleep with other partners if we wished -- as long as what we did was honest as well as private, and that neither of us exposed the family to scandal or disease..."