Black Relationships : ADDRESSING THE MYTH OF FATHERLESS HOMES

Orisons

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[QUOTE="Orisons, post: 1021367, member: 7204"
Additionally PEOPLE, isn't it a fact that some people are fatherless by choice, in that undeniably they couldn’t have done anything about their mother blocking their father’s access while they were children, however once they are adult and aware of their father’s whereabouts and contact; isn’t the choice actually their’s as to whether they want contact or not, in that aren’t they free to associate with whoever they please?

Some sperm donors, as opposed to fathers, truly don’t care to know, have anything to do with their offspring, thus don’t have a problem; whereas what can fathers who are interested, have maintained regular contact via calls and invitations to link do [other than leave them to get on with it] if their now-adult children truly don’t WANT TO KNOW?

[QUOTE="Kemetstry, post: 1021366, member: 46"

Children raised in a single parent home tend not to marry. Those that do, quickly divorce. So says the studies. Basically, you are raised not to see the family unit. Add to that the lies and half truths told by the single parent to erase the other,.....

There is a study, the name escapes me now. Two thirds of the single parent females knew the guy they were mating with was not daddy material. They deliberately sought out Mookie. Mookie was/is seldom around to even know she's pregnant.

This is a discussion for another thread. I have broached the topic in the past. There tends to be sides taken along gender lines

/QUOTE]
Aren't their choices with regard to marriage and having children of their own a separate issue to how they choose to relate to fathers who have ALWAYS tried to support, be a constructive part of their lives as opposed to the hit and run sperm donors who have never taken any interest in them at all?

Real men require females to be responsible real women. I am of the growing opinion, many don't want to be that AND?

Is your mother the only driver for ALL of your adult decisions [mine wasn't], in that aren't these children now supposedly ADULTS with minds of their own?


Isn’t ANYONE who genuinely believes they are not programmed
graphically illustrating that their programming is COMPLETE?
 

Queenie

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Real men require females to be responsible real women. I am of the growing opinion, many don't want to be that



.
Yes, your growing opinion is correct as I view the situation. People will choose different paths no matter the consequences of their actions. As long as we have the freedom to choose, we will see a wide variance among us. People of like minds and values, will commune together because of their similarities in the way they think and what they believe. As much as I see value of a "father" being in the home, it's most critical that it be one who has a positive influence on their sons and daughters and not just a sperm donor, in my humble opinion. Also, in the absence of a father in the home, for whatever reason, which includes death, I don't assume that sons and daughters will grow up to not be responsible individuals who can have successful and long-term relationships. What's most important in a household is love and all that it entails be it coming from a single mother, single father, or a two-parent family. A loving community can and has been known to "raise" and protect the children that live in that community. The Black community needs to also deal with issues around sexual repression in ways that may satisfactorily address situations involving child molestation, rape, and other forms of sexual abuse. This can cause serious problems in the home and be one reason that "fathers" aren't in the home.
 

Kemetstry

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Yes, your growing opinion is correct as I view the situation. People will choose different paths no matter the consequences of their actions. As long as we have the freedom to choose, we will see a wide variance among us. People of like minds and values, will commune together because of their similarities in the way they think and what they believe. As much as I see value of a "father" being in the home, it's most critical that it be one who has a positive influence on their sons and daughters and not just a sperm donor, in my humble opinion. Also, in the absence of a father in the home, for whatever reason, which includes death, I don't assume that sons and daughters will grow up to not be responsible individuals who can have successful and long-term relationships. What's most important in a household is love and all that it entails be it coming from a single mother, single father, or a two-parent family. A loving community can and has been known to "raise" and protect the children that live in that community. The Black community needs to also deal with issues around sexual repression in ways that may satisfactorily address situations involving child molestation, rape, and other forms of sexual abuse. This can cause serious problems in the home and be one reason that "fathers" aren't in the home.

And now you see why I say some of the things I do about females



.
 

Queenie

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And now you see why I say some of the things I do about females



.
Uh, no I don't see why you say some of the things you do about females, but I can see why you would think that I did. Nowhere in my post did I denigrate women or give men a pass for lacking responsibility for their actions. Here's what I was trying to convey.

Since the beginning of human's time here on earth, the simple fact is that there are women who will live their lives the way they want to regardless of what you think about them and the same holds true for men. Men and women will never reflect 100% the qualities we think they should have. After all, at the end of the day, it's only our opinions, right? My suggestion is not to pass judgment on them for being different but to focus attention and efforts on the ones who act responsibly and lovingly in their relationships, according to our liking. There are enough of them out there to sustain us as a healthy and mentally stable people. That's all I'm saying.
 

Kemetstry

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Uh, no I don't see why you say some of the things you do about females, but I can see why you would think that I did. Nowhere in my post did I denigrate women or give men a pass for lacking responsibility for their actions. Here's what I was trying to convey. And here is the difference. I don't call them women. Because I believe, I know women are made of finer stuff. The people I refer to aren't women. How dare you give them that honored title I have never called Mookie a man. You guys have chosen to do both

Since the beginning of human's time here on earth, the simple fact is that there are women who will live their lives the way they want to regardless of what you think about them and the same holds true for men. Men and women will never reflect 100% the qualities we think they should have. After all, at the end of the day, it's only our opinions, right? My suggestion is not to pass judgment on them for being different but to focus attention and efforts on the ones who act responsibly and lovingly in their relationships, according to our liking. There are enough of them out there to sustain us as a healthy and mentally stable people. That's all I'm saying. BS! There is plenty of documented data, showing they their life choice is a detriment to themselves and especially their children. They never want to accept responsibilty for it. Judgement is passed by accepted norms. Those aren't opinions



.
 

Orisons

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[QUOTE="Kemetstry, post: 1021732, member: 46"
Uh, no I don't see why you say some of the things you do about females, but I can see why you would think that I did. Nowhere in my post did I denigrate women or give men a pass for lacking responsibility for their actions. Here's what I was trying to convey. And here is the difference. I don't call them women. Because I believe, I know women are made of finer stuff. The people I refer to aren't women. How dare you give them that honored title I have never called Mookie a man. You guys have chosen to do both

Since the beginning of human's time here on earth, the simple fact is that there are women who will live their lives the way they want to regardless of what you think about them and the same holds true for men. Men and women will never reflect 100% the qualities we think they should have. After all, at the end of the day, it's only our opinions, right?

My suggestion is not to pass judgment on them for being different but to focus attention and efforts on the ones who act responsibly and lovingly in their relationships, according to our liking. There are enough of them out there to sustain us as a healthy and mentally stable people.
That's all I'm saying. BS!

There is plenty of documented data, showing they their life choice is a detriment to themselves and especially their children. They never want to accept responsibilty for it. Judgement is passed by accepted norms. Those aren't opinions

/QUOTE] AND?

Isn't most of this GRIEF being generated by our programming, as opposed to being gender-specific as highlighted by the GRIEF Bill Cosby is experiencing for picking up the ball, trying to intelligently lead us?

Additionally, isn't it now obvious why during our chattel enslavement even our literacy and numeracy was illegal; and isn't it profoundly bizarre that we're aspiring to be the first ethnic group in human history to collectively advance without being both intelligently organized and led?


Isn't ANYONE who genuinely believes they are not programmed
graphically illustrating that their programming is COMPLETE?


 

Orisons

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PEOPLE, isn't it a fact that some people are fatherless by choice, in that undeniably they couldn’t have done anything about their mother blocking their father’s access while they were children, however once they are adult and aware of their father’s whereabouts and contact; isn’t the choice actually their’s as to whether they want contact or not, in that aren’t they free to associate with whoever they please?

Some sperm donors, as opposed to fathers, truly don’t care to know, have anything to do with their offspring, thus don’t have a problem; whereas what can fathers who are interested, have maintained regular contact via calls and invitations to link do [other than leave them to get on with it] if their now-adult children truly don’t WANT TO KNOW?


Isn’t ANYONE who genuinely believes they are not programmed graphically illustrating that their programming is COMPLETE?
Wrong Again!.jpg
 

jamesfrmphilly

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PEOPLE, isn't it a fact that some people are fatherless by choice, in that undeniably they couldn’t have done anything about their mother blocking their father’s access while they were children, however once they are adult and aware of their father’s whereabouts and contact; isn’t the choice actually their’s as to whether they want contact or not, in that aren’t they free to associate with whoever they please?
if the mother has poisoned their attitude toward the father it may b too late......
 

jamesfrmphilly

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Queenie

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Unfortunately, as we have become more educated, we have forgotten what worked



.
I disagree...more education doesn't cause a person to forget what they were taught. Some educated Black parents live in denial and have turned their backs on what they know, as they chase after and want to be like their white neighbors and colleagues. Many of us have allowed ourselves to be brainwashed by the "others", thinking that what they do and what they have is better. It's about self shame and blame...to show white folk that they aren't like other Black people from the old neighborhood. Many of us are weak minded and shallow. Seldom appreciating what we were able to accomplish during our horrific struggle while living in an oppressive society...as though who we were and what we may have lacked compared to white folk was our fault and made us inferior to them. Forgotten what worked? No, turning our backs to what we know and our own and raising Black children with a lost identity.
 

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