Black Relationships : ADDRESSING THE MYTH OF FATHERLESS HOMES

Full Speed

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Sep 7, 2009
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But you didnt answer my question. Is the reason for you angst on this, that dad wasnt there?
The reason for my stern position on this is that in my observation of society and the social condition of our community, I believe the break down of the traditional family is at the center of problem. I believe there are many external contributing factors to this break down of family, but I also believe that we have all we need internally to fix every problem we face. I also believe we have no hope of ever fixing these problems if we do not accept responsiblity for fixing them regardless of external contributing factors. None of the external contributors to our problems will contribute to fixing these problems so we must fix them ourselves or they will not be fixed.

The traditional family is our most powerful tool to equip our young people for life. This begins with fathers taking the lead in the home, being the man, being the father, protecting the mother of his children, and not abusing his position as head/lead of the family. This is the key to the futher of our community. When I hear men trying to side step or bail on this responsiblity, it makes me question the future prosperity of our collective community if this ideology is widespread.
 

A007

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Feb 16, 2001
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A007,

What extensive study have you done which would make what you are saying anything more than your opinion? Is this extensive study published? If you are simply talking about the fact that you think you know and think your ideology is based upon facts, this is still nothing more than an opinion.

The extensive study is based on PUBLISHED MATERIAL and personal searching. I have been to swingers clubs, open relationship chats and blogs. I have talked to people in open relationships. I worked to understand this way of living, which has led me to conclusions that I have drawn. And one of them is...THE WOMAN in most cases controls the openness of the relationship. The woman requests it in the majority of the cases...MEN ARE NOT CRAZY ENOUGH TO...lol. The man agrees because he recognizes the fact that if his woman is not satisfied he will lose her anyway. The woman gets women and men. The woman is the benefactor in the open relationships that I have studied...even though the man has a very good time in the process.

You yourself admit that you truely don't want an open relationship, yet you proclaim that this is what's natural???????? Let me guess, I bet you would enjoy it if your woman would allow you to have other women as long as she did not have other men, right? You don't want to be intimate with her after she has been with another man, but you would be cool with her being with you after you have been with another woman. That's natural???
Yes, being selfish is natural. We are selfish out the womb. But, it doesn't help matters at all that we are TAUGHT to be even more selfish as we get older. But, as I said, I am working towards being unselfish enough to have one. Here are a few questions you can answer to put an end to this...especially since it is not the topic of the thread.

Are we born to be monogamous. If so, why are so few people in the world actually monogamous?

Are men and women still attracted to other people after they are married?
If so, what keeps them (the few that control that urge) from sleeping with that someone they are attracted to...is it a inherent discipline that keeps them from doing so, or is it something taught by society? If it is something TAUGHT....then it is NOT NATURAL it is a social construct.

 

Full Speed

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Sep 7, 2009
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The extensive study is based on PUBLISHED MATERIAL and personal searching. I have been to swingers clubs, open relationship chats and blogs. I have talked to people in open relationships. I worked to understand this way of living, which has led me to conclusions that I have drawn. And one of them is...THE WOMAN in most cases controls the openness of the relationship. The woman requests it in the majority of the cases...MEN ARE NOT CRAZY ENOUGH TO...lol. The man agrees because he recognizes the fact that if his woman is not satisfied he will lose her anyway. The woman gets women and men. The woman is the benefactor in the open relationships that I have studied...even though the man has a very good time in the process.



Yes, being selfish is natural. We are selfish out the womb. But, it doesn't help matters at all that we are TAUGHT to be even more selfish as we get older. But, as I said, I am working towards being unselfish enough to have one. Here are a few questions you can answer to put an end to this...especially since it is not the topic of the thread.

Are we born to be monogamous. If so, why are so few people in the world actually monogamous?

Are men and women still attracted to other people after they are married?
If so, what keeps them (the few that control that urge) from sleeping with that someone they are attracted to...is it a inherent discipline that keeps them from doing so, or is it something taught by society? If it is something TAUGHT....then it is NOT NATURAL it is a social construct.

By "published", I did not mean in Playboy magazine, I meant in a respectable scientific journal or at least something backed up by a controlled study. Please point me to this "published material" which supposedly supports your claim.



Are you suggesting that what ever occurs in large numbers is natural??? What ever we do, rather it is in our best interest or not, is natural????

So, as over eating and obesity becomes more and more the norm, your contention would be that it is natural that we weigh 400 lbs.? Gluteny is natural because so many people do it? I think Mississippi is the fatest state in the nation, is it natural for Mississippians to weigh 300 lbs? Smoking is natural because so many people do it? What is natural or taught can sometimes be the same. It often becomes necessary to teach what is natural because we often times seek to fulfill our temporary lust, regardless of what is right, natural, or in our best interest.

Because so many people are pedofiles, are you suggesting that this is natural behavior. I would suggest that their are just as many pedofiles as their are swingers or couples with truely open relationships. I suggest that if it were legal, there would be millions more pedofiles than couples with truely open relationships.
 

Full Speed

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To ensure that you don't claim I did not answer your question directly, It is because people have a natural propensity to depart from what is in their best interest in an effort to appease their unnatural & unhealthy desires. Same as obesity, pedofilia, smoking, alcoholism, drugs, etc. etc.

I do have another question for you, if women are normally the initiators of open relationships, why is it men who are most likely to cheat or desire relationships outside their marriage?

You also asked why the attraction to others after marriage, the same answer applies. Why do fat people still have an attraction to ice cream or other things that are the last thing they need after they have been advised by a doctor that it is in their best interest to avoid those items?
 

A007

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Feb 16, 2001
1,778
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memphis, Tn
To ensure that you don't claim I did not answer your question directly, It is because people have a natural propensity to depart from what is in their best interest in an effort to appease their unnatural & unhealthy desires. Same as obesity, pedofilia, smoking, alcoholism, drugs, etc. etc.

I do have another question for you, if women are normally the initiators of open relationships, why is it men who are most likely to cheat or desire relationships outside their marriage?

You also asked why the attraction to others after marriage, the same answer applies. Why do fat people still have an attraction to ice cream or other things that are the last thing they need after they have been advised by a doctor that it is in their best interest to avoid those items?
You answer the questions with rhetoric rather than straight answers...maybe because I included the If so statements. So, let me ask again without the extra questions.

Are we Born monogamous?
Are we still attracted to others after we are married?

I made CLEAR what my position is. ""if it is something TAUGHT....then it is NOT NATURAL it is a social construct."" Your examples of smoking, obesity, and drugs make my point for me. WE ARE NOT BORN OBESE, SMOKING, OR DOING DRUGS...hence they are UNNATURAL. We ARE NOT BORN MONOGAMOUS hence it is UNNATURAL.

I never alluded to the sheer numbers except as a QUESTION as to why so many people fail to be monogamous. You didn't answer that with a straight answer either.

Your assumption about the number of open relationships is a terrible one based on nothing. And your assumption about pedophiles is ridiculous because in many countries still to this day 13 year old women get married and have sex with GROWN MEN. So, of course their are more of them than open relationships...but not more of them than men and women who cheat, in polygamous marriages, or swinging. I have never studied pedophilia in America. But, I HAVE studied monogamy and it is a SOCIAL CONSTRUCT not what we were born with.



I do have another question for you, if women are normally the initiators of open relationships, why is it men who are most likely to cheat or desire relationships outside their marriage?

They aren't!!! Women are JUST AS LIKELY to cheat or desire relationships outside of their marriage
 

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