Black Relationships : ADDRESSING THE MYTH OF FATHERLESS HOMES

rapunzal24

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Apr 2, 2011
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Please show me where I said any such thing? Be careful, your bias is showing.



Why are so many sisters mating with males that aren't worthy of being kept?





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So many sisters are mating with males that aren't worthy because they are dysfunctional. Something that I realize, is that dysfunction searches for dysfunction. Dysfunction is cyclical, it just goes around and around. The women are looking for love, acknowledgement, someone that makes them feel worthy. No matter how it may come, a man giving you attention is what many women seek. That can become dysfunctional. The men that they meet are dysfunctional also, searching for attention, recognition from women. Both never realizing that the thing that they are searching for can only come from within. They can both come from dysfunctional homes, or from "good" homes, but their values are all mixed up. You say women can control all of this if they only realize that what they are doing is wrong, and who they are hooking up with is wrong. As a woman, I can say that their is nothing like looking into the eyes of a man that desires you. That is putting forth effort to get to know you. It's like....a drug. You can become intoxicated by it...you lose it. If your values aren't in place, if you haven't dealt with the demons that reside within you.....then your validation will come from men. It is not that easy Kem, as easy as it is for men to sleep with women that are throwing it at them, it is just as easy for a woman to believe..if even for a moment...that a man actually desires you. That want, that need for a man to look at you and go..."I want to have that", is just as much of a desire as a man has to want to sleep with a woman. I am not excusing women, not at all, we have to do better. It is not as easy as you make it seem though. We have wants and desires too, and sometimes that gets cloudy with reality. I'm not talking about people who have bad personalities, some folks just don't mean nobody no good, men and women. I'm talking about people who don't know better, people who allow their emotions to overtake them. Sometimes being emotional is all they know. Alot of these dudes out here who are just smashing women for no reason and making babies....have no purpose in life. They don't believe that they can do better, it is too hard for them to try. The same goes for women, they go for that momentary feeling of being desired, without realizing that you have to put in work and self restraint in order to find a mate. Not because they are just horrible women, but because something is missing, the thing that lets you know your self value, the value of your....vagina. The thing that you give, a part of your body that belongs completely to you. They put their emotions before their body, simply because they want to feel desired. I am not excusing it, but I just wanted to let you know that men have a problem with women throwing their bodies, and women have a problem with men throwing emotions. Dysfunction attracts dysfunction. To lay it all at the feet of one dysfunctional person seems unfair, it is asking them to fix their problems, but allowing another to not have to do the same.
 

Kemetstry

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Isn't the bottom line the fact that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned as underlined by the GRIEF I've had seeing my children with my ex partners once they deduced that I had no intention of EVER having them as my partner/central in my life again?
Most are never ever wrong about anything, literally have no idea when to step back/even allow you to make a mistake but what is really unforgivable is not rationally accepting that children have no options as to who their parents are [forcing them to commit totally or more to one parent or the other is folly]?
Too late for my children especially my daughter [now 21] who never got the academic support that is her birthright because her mother thought that my desperate rearguard [when I contacted them when she was 14] with regard to trying to guide her through the academic minefield [in which her mother is completely useless whereas some women are brilliant] was a chance to frustrate me for totally ignoring her; due to the fact that the only part of her that I have any interest in is my children [a fact that she is very very aware of].
Is having a degree as important/relevant as the subject that the degree is in, especially with regard to how well a degree in that subject either equips the graduate to either work for someone else or create work for themselves/their own job?
Isn’t ANYONE who genuinely believes they are not programmed
graphically illustrating that their programming is COMPLETE?



It has to be in the proper field. We are becoming an increasingly technocratic society. Thus, a related field keeps you employed

It's never too late to become educated





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Kemetstry

going above and beyond
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So many sisters are mating with males that aren't worthy because they are dysfunctional. Something that I realize, is that dysfunction searches for dysfunction. Dysfunction is cyclical, it just goes around and around. The women are looking for love, acknowledgement, someone that makes them feel worthy. No matter how it may come, a man giving you attention is what many women seek. That can become dysfunctional. The men that they meet are dysfunctional also, searching for attention, recognition from women. Both never realizing that the thing that they are searching for can only come from within. They can both come from dysfunctional homes, or from "good" homes, but their values are all mixed up. You say women can control all of this if they only realize that what they are doing is wrong, and who they are hooking up with is wrong. As a woman, I can say that their is nothing like looking into the eyes of a man that desires you. That is putting forth effort to get to know you. It's like....a drug. You can become intoxicated by it...you lose it. If your values aren't in place, if you haven't dealt with the demons that reside within you.....then your validation will come from men. It is not that easy Kem, as easy as it is for men to sleep with women that are throwing it at them, it is just as easy for a woman to believe..if even for a moment...that a man actually desires you. That want, that need for a man to look at you and go..."I want to have that", is just as much of a desire as a man has to want to sleep with a woman. I am not excusing women, not at all, we have to do better. It is not as easy as you make it seem though. We have wants and desires too, and sometimes that gets cloudy with reality. I'm not talking about people who have bad personalities, some folks just don't mean nobody no good, men and women. I'm talking about people who don't know better, people who allow their emotions to overtake them. Sometimes being emotional is all they know. Alot of these dudes out here who are just smashing women for no reason and making babies....have no purpose in life. They don't believe that they can do better, it is too hard for them to try. The same goes for women, they go for that momentary feeling of being desired, without realizing that you have to put in work and self restraint in order to find a mate. Not because they are just horrible women, but because something is missing, the thing that lets you know your self value, the value of your....vagina. The thing that you give, a part of your body that belongs completely to you. They put their emotions before their body, simply because they want to feel desired. I am not excusing it, but I just wanted to let you know that men have a problem with women throwing their bodies, and women have a problem with men throwing emotions. Dysfunction attracts dysfunction. To lay it all at the feet of one dysfunctional person seems unfair, it is asking them to fix their problems, but allowing another to not have to do the same.


1. Then how can the cycle be broken? Because this obviously aint working

2. That drug affects us too. There is nothing like a fine female giving you the " Yeah, I'm feeling you too!" look. Worse than heroine. lol All the more reason something has to be done.

3. All I'm saying is. It's a biological fact, the female gets pregnant. Why is it so unreasonable for you guys to protect yourselves in the clinches. Especially, when the facts are, he wont be around for the long haul? Why is it so hard for you to accept that Mookie just don't give a ****? And even if he did, he doesn't have the where with all to do anything about it





..
 

shaka64

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I talk about this subject with many angry young men all the time. They say: My mom did it all alone. We struggled because he wasn’t around I hate him because…because…because. I say to them if you are mad with him your mom had a big part in this situation. YOUR MOM CHOSE HIM TO BE YOUR FATHER PERIOD. GOOD LOOKING OUT MOM.
 

Kemetstry

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I talk about this subject with many angry young men all the time. They say: My mom did it all alone. We struggled because he wasn’t around I hate him because…because…because. I say to them if you are mad with him your mom had a big part in this situation. YOUR MOM CHOSE HIM TO BE YOUR FATHER PERIOD. GOOD LOOKING OUT MOM.

But mom was the only one telling a side.





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Orisons

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Kemetstry said:
Please show me where I said any such thing? Be careful, your bias is showing.

Why are so many sisters mating with males that aren't worthy of being kept?
So many sisters are mating with males that aren't worthy because they are dysfunctional. Something that I realize, is that dysfunction searches for dysfunction. Dysfunction is cyclical, it just goes around and around.
The women are looking for love, acknowledgement, someone that makes them feel worthy. No matter how it may come, a man giving you attention is what many women seek. That can become dysfunctional. The men that they meet are dysfunctional also, searching for attention, recognition from women. Both never realizing that the thing that they are searching for can only come from within.
They can both come from dysfunctional homes, or from "good" homes, but their values are all mixed up. You say women can control all of this if they only realize that what they are doing is wrong, and who they are hooking up with is wrong. As a woman, I can say that their is nothing like looking into the eyes of a man that desires you. That is putting forth effort to get to know you. It's like....a drug. You can become intoxicated by it...you lose it.
If your values aren't in place, if you haven't dealt with the demons that reside within you.....then your validation will come from men. It is not that easy Kem, as easy as it is for men to sleep with women that are throwing it at them, it is just as easy for a woman to believe..if even for a moment...that a man actually desires you. That want, that need for a man to look at you and go..."I want to have that", is just as much of a desire as a man has to want to sleep with a woman.
I am not excusing women, not at all, we have to do better. It is not as easy as you make it seem though. We have wants and desires too, and sometimes that gets cloudy with reality. I'm not talking about people who have bad personalities, some folks just don't mean nobody no good, men and women.
I'm talking about people who don't know better, people who allow their emotions to overtake them. Sometimes being emotional is all they know. A lot of these dudes out here who are just smashing women for no reason and making babies....have no purpose in life. They don't believe that they can do better, it is too hard for them to try.
The same goes for women, they go for that momentary feeling of being desired, without realizing that you have to put in work and self restraint in order to find a mate. Not because they are just horrible women, but because something is missing, the thing that lets you know your self value, the value of your....vagina. The thing that you give, a part of your body that belongs completely to you.
They put their emotions before their body, simply because they want to feel desired. I am not excusing it, but I just wanted to let you know that men have a problem with women throwing their bodies, and women have a problem with men throwing emotions.
Dysfunction attracts dysfunction. To lay it all at the feet of one dysfunctional person seems unfair, it is asking them to fix their problems, but allowing another to not have to do the same.
Isn’t the diverse array of socio-economic dysfunction crippling our communities and countries in the 21st century a different issue to the manner in which some women transform the truly divine blessing of being part creator of completely healthy children into a weapon for hurting the father/thus crippling the children too; for no longer being interested in being with her [for whatever reason, as if they have more right/love for the children], subsequently pretending that the father is not interested in parenting his children [especially to the children]; when in reality despite his love for his children he’s no longer interested in partnering her?
Isn’t ANYONE who genuinely believes they are not programmed
graphically illustrating that their programming is COMPLETE?
 

Kemetstry

going above and beyond
PREMIUM MEMBER
Feb 19, 2001
26,586
7,323
Detroit
Occupation
Chemist
So many sisters are mating with males that aren't worthy because they are dysfunctional. Something that I realize, is that dysfunction searches for dysfunction. Dysfunction is cyclical, it just goes around and around. The women are looking for love, acknowledgement, someone that makes them feel worthy. No matter how it may come, a man giving you attention is what many women seek. That can become dysfunctional. The men that they meet are dysfunctional also, searching for attention, recognition from women. Both never realizing that the thing that they are searching for can only come from within. They can both come from dysfunctional homes, or from "good" homes, but their values are all mixed up. You say women can control all of this if they only realize that what they are doing is wrong, and who they are hooking up with is wrong. As a woman, I can say that their is nothing like looking into the eyes of a man that desires you. That is putting forth effort to get to know you. It's like....a drug. You can become intoxicated by it...you lose it. If your values aren't in place, if you haven't dealt with the demons that reside within you.....then your validation will come from men. It is not that easy Kem, as easy as it is for men to sleep with women that are throwing it at them, it is just as easy for a woman to believe..if even for a moment...that a man actually desires you. That want, that need for a man to look at you and go..."I want to have that", is just as much of a desire as a man has to want to sleep with a woman. I am not excusing women, not at all, we have to do better. It is not as easy as you make it seem though. We have wants and desires too, and sometimes that gets cloudy with reality. I'm not talking about people who have bad personalities, some folks just don't mean nobody no good, men and women. I'm talking about people who don't know better, people who allow their emotions to overtake them. Sometimes being emotional is all they know. Alot of these dudes out here who are just smashing women for no reason and making babies....have no purpose in life. They don't believe that they can do better, it is too hard for them to try. The same goes for women, they go for that momentary feeling of being desired, without realizing that you have to put in work and self restraint in order to find a mate. Not because they are just horrible women, but because something is missing, the thing that lets you know your self value, the value of your....vagina. The thing that you give, a part of your body that belongs completely to you. They put their emotions before their body, simply because they want to feel desired. I am not excusing it, but I just wanted to let you know that men have a problem with women throwing their bodies, and women have a problem with men throwing emotions. Dysfunction attracts dysfunction. To lay it all at the feet of one dysfunctional person seems unfair, it is asking them to fix their problems, but allowing another to not have to do the same.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkGAdGY28xE&list=UUJFHJtluOy3-HQTL039ZQ2g







.
 

Kemetstry

going above and beyond
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Feb 19, 2001
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chuck

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Aug 9, 2003
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So many sisters are mating with males that aren't worthy because they are dysfunctional. Something that I realize, is that dysfunction searches for dysfunction. Dysfunction is cyclical, it just goes around and around. The women are looking for love, acknowledgement, someone that makes them feel worthy. No matter how it may come, a man giving you attention is what many women seek. That can become dysfunctional. The men that they meet are dysfunctional also, searching for attention, recognition from women. Both never realizing that the thing that they are searching for can only come from within. They can both come from dysfunctional homes, or from "good" homes, but their values are all mixed up. You say women can control all of this if they only realize that what they are doing is wrong, and who they are hooking up with is wrong. As a woman, I can say that their is nothing like looking into the eyes of a man that desires you. That is putting forth effort to get to know you. It's like....a drug. You can become intoxicated by it...you lose it. If your values aren't in place, if you haven't dealt with the demons that reside within you.....then your validation will come from men. It is not that easy Kem, as easy as it is for men to sleep with women that are throwing it at them, it is just as easy for a woman to believe..if even for a moment...that a man actually desires you. That want, that need for a man to look at you and go..."I want to have that", is just as much of a desire as a man has to want to sleep with a woman. I am not excusing women, not at all, we have to do better. It is not as easy as you make it seem though. We have wants and desires too, and sometimes that gets cloudy with reality. I'm not talking about people who have bad personalities, some folks just don't mean nobody no good, men and women. I'm talking about people who don't know better, people who allow their emotions to overtake them. Sometimes being emotional is all they know. Alot of these dudes out here who are just smashing women for no reason and making babies....have no purpose in life. They don't believe that they can do better, it is too hard for them to try. The same goes for women, they go for that momentary feeling of being desired, without realizing that you have to put in work and self restraint in order to find a mate. Not because they are just horrible women, but because something is missing, the thing that lets you know your self value, the value of your....vagina. The thing that you give, a part of your body that belongs completely to you. They put their emotions before their body, simply because they want to feel desired. I am not excusing it, but I just wanted to let you know that men have a problem with women throwing their bodies, and women have a problem with men throwing emotions. Dysfunction attracts dysfunction. To lay it all at the feet of one dysfunctional person seems unfair, it is asking them to fix their problems, but allowing another to not have to do the same.
At least to me

On point

On time

fyi
 

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