Black Relationships : Black Male Shortage - Myth or Reality?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Regina, Jan 8, 2003.

  1. Regina

    Regina Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What are your views on the so called Black Male Shortage? How is the dating scene in your community?
     
  2. Joyce

    Joyce Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hi Regina

    I can't comment on the dating scene, but I can offer some thoughts on the black male shortage. Personally, I don't think there is a shortage of black males, but there is a shortage of black available males. Many brothas do not want to commit. Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk free. As long as he is getting the "fringe" benefits of the relationship without commiting, where is the incentive to take it any further???

    Here are just a few things that make black men less available but not necessarily in shortage...

    1. Prison...often our brothas are incarcerated for longer periods
    of time than others for the same crime. We might be suprised
    how many are actually innocent of the crime commited, but
    they couldn't afford a good lawyer to prove otherwise. For
    example, last year, in Florida the the number of black males
    in prison was higher than the number of black males in
    Florida's population. To me, this is mind boggling.

    2. Homosexuality...need I say more.

    3. Another popular method of controlling our numbers other than imprisonment is the push for women's rights via a certain particular political party. Whiles white women rally for a woman's right to take her child's life, we more than they, take part in this act to our very own detriment.
    CLiCK Here To Read The Source Of This Information

    Abortion Incidence Among Blacks Minority women constitute only about 26% of the female population (age 15-44) in the United States, but they underwent approximatly 36% of the abortions. (Morbidity and mortality Weekly Report, U.S. Censuc Bureau, December 18, 1992, Centers for Disease Control).

    This incidence of abortion has resulted in a tremendous loss of life. It has been estimated that since 1973 Black women have had about 10 million abortions. Michael Novak had calculated "Since the number of current living Blacks (in the U.S.) is 31 million, the missing 10 million represents an enourmous loss for, without abortion, America's black community would now number 41 milion persons. It would be 35 percent larger than it is currently. Abortion has swept through the Black community cutting down every fourth member. (Flight of Life's Priorities, Cal Thomas, Washington Times, April 1, 1993, p. G1, G4).

    4. Homicide

    5. Interracial relationships can not produce black males, moreover, it will always take a black woman and a black man to "produce" another black male or female.

    There are more situations that affect the availibility of black males, but I is going to bed rat ni

    :)
     
  3. Regina

    Regina Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes, the reasons you state are some of the main reasons there are less Black men available.

    However, when there is quantity there isn't necessarily quality. This goes for both genders.

    Men can definitely get what they want outside of a commitment. Women are at fault. A woman's body is a temple and shouldn't be used to manipulate a man into a commitment, nor be given freely.

    Many men do not want to marry because of the high divorce rate. They state many women just want to get married just to be married, to be taken care of or to have children. The men are afraid of losing their assets in the case of a divorce.

    The dating scene in the ATL (metro Atlanta) is what one makes of it. I hear a lot of women complain, but I haven't had a problem dating. The main thing here is pre-screening your dates. A man can pretend to be anything he wants to be to impress women. If a woman isn't impressed by the flash and looks beyond what she sees, it's okay.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    well their is a some what shortage to every male is at least 5
    females and it get slimmer coz so many taken or not ready to
    commit
     
  5. Joyce

    Joyce Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You said...
    Men can definitely get what they want outside of a commitment. Women are at fault. A woman's body is a temple and shouldn't be used to manipulate a man into a commitment, nor be given freely.


    Me say...

    I agree, even the farmer can't get any milk if the cow doesn't give it. However, we (females) are not cows. We need love and therefore many of us will give sex to get it. I wish most of us were weak like dat, but oh well. Thumbs up to the sistas who know they are complete with or without a man.
     
  6. Regina

    Regina Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Joyce, well said...

    Let us hope our sisters realize that their bodies are precious.
     
  7. Regina

    Regina Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Feminism

    The white feminists twist things to show their truth...most of them were already middle class and privileged.

    Feminism...that's part of the problem with Black male and Black female relationships...

    Black women better stop listening to the feminists... I believe in equal pay for equal work and all that jazz, but the hard-core feminists are man-haters. They think everything about a man is terrible.:eek:
     
  8. Solo

    Solo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    As a black male who has spent a great deal of his life single, I don't believe there's a male shortage, but I do think that timing is off between some men and women. For instance, I consider myself a gentleman and a scholar, have never been arrested and am educated. In college I never had a girlfriend because I didn't have a car or a lot of money. I got a lot of attention from white women and Asian girls for some reason, even though I never dated any of them. Black women were angry with me for that, even though I never did anything and they didn't seem to want me in the first place, so basically I was just stuck.

    Fast forward almost four years later. I have a decent job and wear nice clothes. I have an old car, but it's payed for and the only debt I have is my college loans. I help take care of my mother who has had a hard time finding work. I don't drink and have never done drugs. I have no children and I think I'm reasonably decent looking.

    All that being said, the only difference between me now and back when I was in college is that women have changed. My personality is the same, my character and integrity are the same. Black women have changed. They want different things when they "grow up". Men like me have a difficult time when we're younger, because we're not "cool" and don't know how to "spit game" and whatever else makes a man attractive to a young black woman.

    I turned 27 this past November and quite frankly feel no loyalty to my so called sisters, since I feel none was shown to me. I would eventually like to meet, date and marry a nice black woman, but the fact is at this point women who would have been eligible when I was younger are no longer eligible. They either have kids now (a no-no) or haven't healed from a bad relationship in which they chose the wrong guy on purpose (I've never been sure about what women's problem is in choosing a man...). NOW they want a man like me. The bottom line is, brothers like me woke up and decided not to wait on black women to notice us, so we either decided to be alone, raise our standards even higher, or date a different race. Me, I have decided to raise the bar, and am prepared to be alone if I don't meet the kind of woman I like.

    I'm not putting all the blame on black women, because most of the stuff above is true (homosexuality, prison, etc.) but the fact is women tend to make bad choices in men. I know too many women who prefer "thug" types, and would consider young men like myself "lame" (I have been called lame to my face on more than one occasion by black women), or "white" if we do things a little differently. By the time these women (which unfotunately seem to be the majority) wake up, it's too late and there's a bunch of bitter black men who want nothing to do with them for different reasons. That's not the whole issue, but that's a major part of it in my opinion. Men need to carry themselves to a higher standard and women need to make better choices and realize that they are the ones who change, not men. Recognize a good man when he's right in front of you, not when he's far ahead of you and out of reach.
     
  9. poeticdelight

    poeticdelight Member MEMBER

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    i applaud you

    keep reaching for the sky :)

    pd
     
  10. Lovelee

    Lovelee Member MEMBER

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    I'm not sure where all the postive Black man have gone, but I sure do pray the they return soon.
     
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