Black Relationships : I need opinions...

[free2b_me]

hey gottaloveher...

I have a flow I recently wrote in the poetry section called "HOW WE FEEL" I think you should check it out. It speaks heavily on how we should not let our "feelings" control us.

To really be considered a "woman of strength" you have to be able to "control" your feelings. At this time, your feelings are controlling you. A woman who can not be in control, is a weak minded individual toying with childs play. To be in control, is to seperate the girls from the women. Which are you?

(This reminds me so much, of the Steve Harvey Morning show, for those of you who get it in your area, when he goes over the daily relationship "strawberry letter.")

Many things are taking place here. And to be honest, I dont think you need to be anywhere near a relationship, or anyones husband for that matter. I believe you need to spend some real time with yourself, examining your motives. Asking yourself 1) why is it that you have difficulty commiting. 2) If you know you have difficulty commiting, then why would you commit to someone going to Africa 3) Why you feel it is acceptable behavior to go after another womans man, who will a) only look at you as a side fling b) never leave his real family for you c) will end up making a complete and utter fool out of you d) being a backstabbing jezebel to the positive message you should be setting forth, with respect to all black women and e) being the epitomy of disgrace.

May I ask a question? Why is it, that you have no feelings for this man's wife?

I am not here to judge you whatsoever, because we all come from different walks of life, with different influences. But I have to say, as a 26 year old woman myself, that your mind is not in alignment at this time. The games you are playing are for children. You should speak on behalf of your vagina, it should not speak on behalf of you.

Please excercise some self control, and perhaps think of some ways to bring up your self-esteem levels. For a woman who thinks highly of herself, does not lower herself to take another womans man, nor does she have trouble commiting to a relationship without probable cause. A woman of integrity knows the difference between right and wrong.

I say this all in love...truthfully speaking.

SWEET APPLE, GURL, I CAN'T SAY NOTHING AFTER THAT, PREACH GURL, SHOOT, I'M CONVICTED ON WHAT YOU JUST SAID! HMMM

 

[sweet apple*pie]

Thanks free!

I also wanted to say that what Queentswana said was very powerful too.

 

[free2b_me]

I TOTALLY AGREE

The best way I can say this is: There's several machine guns (loaded) aimed at ya head sis, and only you got control of the trigger. A "Thrill"will only last a moment...but death is "Forever"...
When playing rushen roulette, some get lucky, but some don't.
You're one person, but let's see how many lives are at stake here, ....
The married man, ...If he cheats on his wife for you, please do not think he won't cheat on you with someone else, nor are you the first...or last. He have very little respect for his wife, and even less for you. Not to mention when you become bored, you move on. At 24 you should be all into you, for you haven't even begun to live your life yet sis. We're living in titious times, and aids has no favorites, ...none at all...and the sad part is, the innocent ones gets taken out too.
I hope this frightens you back into "Reality"!!

THE SPIRIT IS UP IN THIS THREAD, I HOPE THAT YOUR MESSAGE GET THRU AND UNDERSTAND THAT REPRESENTS LOVE TAPS ACROSS THE BEHIND.

 

[MRLEGEND]

yeah it doesn't seem like you are ready to settle down...you may still be in your "H" phase seeing as you're doing 2 no-no's at the same time. Messing with someones husband, and cheating on someone who loves you...

Do my man a favor and let him go; he may be passing up the chance at real love, trying to stay faithful to you. It's only right since you are having a difficult time returning that respect to him...only evil & selfishness would have you do anything else

 

[Kemetstry]

I am a 24 year old female and I have somewhat of an emotional/physical/moral dilemma.

In all of my 24 years of life I have never truly had a real love. I've had a few relationships, that turned out to be mostly physical, but I am definitely not mad about that, because it was as much my decision as it was the man in my life at that time. I have just never met the man that I wanted to totally devote myself to. That is, until now. I met a guy about 5 months ago and decided that I was going to give this relationship thing a try. I mean a true "i'm yours, you're mine" relationship. We had our litlle spats but nothing major. We became physical sexually before we were officially a couple (but it worked out). About 2 months into us "dating" he tells me he loves me and all I could say was "ok" because honestly I wasn't there yet. A month after this, he tells me that he's gotten a job 4 states away, that will eventually put him in Africa for the next 15 months (he would work 8 weeks, then be home for 2 weeks for the next year or so). This is where my dilemma begins.

After learning this information, I started having doubts about whether or not I would be able to handle a long distance relationship. Keep in mind that I have never been able to be in a faithful relationship, because when I get bored i tend to move on to the next exciting thing. However, despite the fact that I wouldn't be able to see this man whenever I wanted to, I decided to commit myself to him and promise him that I would be a good faithful girlfriend.

From his end, the relationship has been perfect. In lieu of the minor things he does that get on my nerves, he has been loving (telling me he loves me and misses me every chance he gets) even, going so far as to begin to make wedding plans for him and I and we met only in August.

So, as things are progressing in a positive direction, here comes "trouble". And I use the word trouble in a good and bad way. It's been a while since I have been physical, oh hell, since I've been sexed ( due to my cycle being on while he was home for a short visit) and one day at work, who comes through the door but the very guy who i first experienced sex with. And ladies you know how it is with your first, this flood of emotions came rushing in (in my heart and between my legs) as I'm thinking about how I have recently began considering myself a born again virgin (hell its been a while! LOL!). But in the back of my head, I remember, this man is married.

Now we have dilemma number two. He gets in my ear telling me how he hasnt ever stopped loving me. I know its probably game, but Ms. Kitty is clouding my better judgement and I give him my number and we begin to conversate and set up times to meet and do what we did best. As of yet, it's been 2 weeks since we've "reconnected". We have yet to engage in any sexual acitvity, but we've done alot of kissing, hugging, and rubbing and we are both ready to take it to the next level, but here comes my conscience. And it's just like on those cheesy sitcoms where I have the devil on one shoulder telling me to go for it and the angel on the other saying I need to make what i have work and be a good girlfriend.

so..... in this situation, WWYD (what would you do)?

What happens in the dark comes out in the light, always!

If you cant control your urges now, you wont be able to control them when there is real trouble. 2nd, the other guy is married!!!!!!!!!!!!