Black Relationships : Does A Man Need A Woman By His Side Just Because He Gets Older?


Active Member
Jul 11, 2011
Here's the deal. Ever since I can remember, I have heard enough guys talking about not wanting to die alone. Guys who believed that it's their responsibility to seek a relationship with a woman and/or marriage. With the hopes and goal that a woman will take care of them in case something was to happen to them.

Most if not all of these men have a couple of things in common. One is, they all seem to have the idea or the notion, that having a woman in their lives leads to their happiness, some sort of salvation or protection in hard times. The other is, they have all had relationships or marriages that eventually failed. Many have been married 2 or more times, and are open to doing it again.

Each time they get into a relationship or get married, they repeat the same pattern of looking for fulfillment through women. And each time the results is failure every time. Maybe the ending is different, but the premise for choosing a mate is basically the same. These men cant accept not being in a relationship. And they still seek women and legal marriage as an ultimate goal to strive for.

As far as enough of those men are concerned, they believe : Those men that choose to be unattached or not in a relationship, and especially not legally married, they are supposedly missing out. Worse, is the belief that they are going to grow old and just die alone. What say you?
One of the reasons I started this thread, is because I recently talked to a twice divorced friend of mine who was suggesting that I need to get a woman because I am not getting any younger. What sparked it? Me telling him that I met a woman recently that I had a good three days with. I described how I enjoyed my time with her.

She's about 40, Im over 60. She's got 3 children that live with her. I live alone ( even though I have one grown child ). I have never been married before. And after what I have seen in my lifetime I will never ever legally marry a woman. I dont even want to live with a woman. Let alone , get into a serious relationship or marriage with a woman with 3 kids already. None of them are grown. The biggest hurdle is she doesnt even live in the United States. She lives in Africa. Why would I want to take her away from where she lives, just to bring her to America? I dont even know the lady. I just met her.

This fella sees all of this potential in a woman from just me giving details about her. No wonder he's had several failed marriages. Guys like this get high , and optimistic over simple gestures from women. She paid the tip. She didnt ask for any money. She cooked him a meal. They make reckless assumptions about a womans potential from a few days, weeks and months of being around a woman. I dont think like that. Who a person is in the moment, is not who they will be months from now. And definitely not 5, 10 and 15 years from now.
What befuddles me, is why it that some guys that have been married and divorced multiple times are constantly trying to advise singles guys , especially guys who have never been married to find a woman and settle down? "You arent getting any younger." They say. Why is it that some men seem to think that a mans salvation and protection as he ages is supposed to come from a woman?

I have always maintained, that a man should be building bonds with people throughout his entire life. Not just with women. Anybody who has a close bond with people can have designated people in their lives that can come to their aid as they get older. It does not need to be a woman in a relationship or marriage with a man for that to happen. Family, friends, acquaintances, housemates, emergency contacts etc, are all capable of doing the job of helping someone in need.

Even in a relationship or marriage, once you are gone, you are alone. You cant do anything about who is going to handle your affairs. When you are gone, you dont have a care in the world. A young man could be in his 20's. If he dies single , unmarried whats the difference? Somebody else gets his Play Station, Jordans, cell phone and porn collection. Personally, I dont need a relationship or marriage to validate me just because Im older now. Maybe those sentiments came from how I grew up. Whatever it is/was, I learned to value my own company, without needing to be in a relationship or to get married.

I have had several successful and enjoyable relationships in my lifetime. A very memorable one was with a lady that eventually married years after we stopped the relationship amicably. She died of cancer 3 months ago. She was married to a man who eventually revealed himself to be an *******. That's according to her sisters who I still stay in touch with and visit from time to time. The sisters were trying to help their ailing sister, but the ******* husband interfered. So what did being married and having a husband by her side, do for her?
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1. I have never heard brothers worry about dying alone. I have heard plenty of sisters.

2. The data shows we live longer and better with a good spouse



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