Can a Woman Raise a Man

[soulsearcher]

I agree with Pan. Both parents are important. Even though it's true women give birth to both genders, they are still not men. They don't know how men feel or act other than third-party perspective. And men don't know how women feel or act either.

I do think that single parents could still raise healthy kids, but it would be necessary at some point to find a role-model in their lives that was a man or a woman, depending on which parent is absent. Sometimes the family structure already takes care of this... a grandpa, uncle or brother can serve as the male role model if dad isn't there. Though obviously nothing is absolute, stable kids who came from single-parent situations probably still had a same-gender role-model somewhere in the course of their upbringing.

In a case where there are no parents, (such as slavery), the child would have had to obtain guidance from other adult slaves. This does not take the place of the parents obviously but if one is to survive they must find a way to adjust to even the most horrific of situations.

 

[Radical Faith]

The answer to this question isn't that difficult but let's look it from a different perspective. Let's say man is left to raise daughters to become women. If a man can't style his daughters hair he will take them to the salon. Though he is not doing their hair himself he's providing means for his daughters to develop their femininity. This is raising them. The same way a mother takes her son to football practice. Through she may not know how throw a ball, she is providing the means for her son to develop his masculinity. This is raising him also. It's the same if the child was learning to play an instrument. Mom or Dad may not know how play the instrument their child is playing but they know how to facilitate learning. As far as values are concerned a women can teach her son good values. Raising a boy to manhood doesn't mean that the mother must be the only source of knowledge. With both parents the chances for a well adjusted child are greatly increased but it is not impossible for single parent to raise a child to adulthood...


Peace.....

 

[panafrica]

Yes, i agree Brother Pan ... both are absolutely needed. This is the ideal situation. But it is not the reality for many of our people. Many Sisters are, and have, raised good children, alone ... both boys and girls.
Again, i do agree with you ... it is not the natural order of things.

There are millions of African American women raising children alone (which is not a positive occurance). Many of these women have male children, and many of them have been able to raise successful and productive members of society. Still having both parents raise children is necessary for the economical, psychological, and emotional well being of a child. It is the psychological and emotional well being of children who do not have their fathers present that is too often overlooked.

The absence of a father can not be replaced. His presence is missed by all children who do not have him in their lives (even when children do not verbalize this to their mother). This is something single mothers (regardless of the circumstances which led to their situation) need to understand. Oft-times single mothers work so hard to compensate for the absence of the father, they send a message that fathers are not necessary. Sometimes this message is subliminal, other times it is stated outright. In either case children born to single mothers (male and female) internalize these messages, and they manifest them by becoming single parents themselves. It is also manifested in the communal acceptance among African Americans of not having a father in the home:

http://www.destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=27719&highlight=child+abandonment

Yes the reality of most African American mothers is that they are raising children alone. However is this something we want to continue? Does anyone truly believe it is going to be possible to achieve Black unity, when we can not even heal our own families? No! This is our 1st order of business, reversing the destruction of the African American family. For this trend to be reversed, there are behaviors & attitudes which need to change on the part of men and women.

I was having a similar conversation (not as deep as this one) with sister PCQueen in chat the other day. She mentioned that there are a lot of "bad fathers" in our community. I acknowledged that she was correct; however, I interjected that the majority of these "bad" fathers were that way before they had children. This contributes significantly to our current situation. The selection process among African Americans is poor, and our relationships suffer as a result. Immediate gratification is a large part of American (European) culture, and African Americans have adopted this mentality to our detriment. Many in our community are selecting mates based on superficial aspects (money, clothes, etc), instead of quality of character. It is common in our community to ignore/overlook the family background & personal history of potential mates, as if this information is not vitale to determining whether to be with someone.

The inability of men and women in the African American community to properly select mates is why our number of single parent households is not only higher than other races, but also higher than other Blacks in the Diaspora! When people turn away from the culture of their ancestors, it leads to destructive/detrimental behavior. The African American communty & the current state of the black family in America is a classic example of this. We come from a land, where family was the most important aspect of life. We currently live in a land where family is not considered to be important. The two can not mix, and as we adopt more European views on family & relationships...the disturbing numbers which plague our community (60% divorce rate, 70% of children born out of wedlock, etc) will continue to increase. The only was to reverse this downward trend is to return to the culture of our ancestors.

 

[Sekhemu]

In this connection Auset was actually given the power of "Ra" to RESURRECT Ausar and did so with the assitance of Anubis (or Thoth, depending on which account is referenced).

My answer to this question is NO.

Black women everyday raise black males in single parent homes and the preponderance of such in our communities is a leading factor which has resulted in our physical and spiritual imbalance.

In African societies the "Raising" of MEN was conducted by Elders who were Initiated and "RAISED" these MEN through a series of Initiation Rites particular to MEN.

In this connection Auset was given the Power of "Ra" to RESURRECT Ausar and did so with the assistance of Anubis

Not to throw the topic off course, but I think a distinction should be made here. It was Auset in her capacity of Mistress of Heka, who "learned" the name of Ra. This in turn provided her with the means to raise Auset from the underworld.

Sorry for the digression, back to the thread folks!

 

[Keita Kenyatta]

THE ANSWER IS NO...but I'll get back to this when I come home from work. Maybe I should reverse this: Can a Man raise a Woman?