Black Parenting : How should i discipline my daughter?

[sfom bom]

she's 6 almost 7, i dont really know is it me being a bad mother or what. she has never lied, and once she started going to school and with her friends she started lying. i would ask her something i knew that she did do, and she would lie about it, until i yell at her. now just today, she took some of my money, without even asking, she really cant tell what $1 are like and $20, so she took five of my 20 dollar bills to school, and when i came home i found one left in her pocket. before her dad asked her and she said no, so i found it and got really mad, and we asked her to go to her friends house and get the money back since she gave it to her friends. i don't know what to do, i am so mad, and my husbands all like, well don't put your stuff there. what can i do to make her a better person?

 

[Knowledge Seed]

Get a paddle or a ruler and spank her hands when she lies.

 

[skuderjaymes]

Get a paddle or a ruler and spank her hands when she lies.

 

[skuderjaymes]

she's 6 almost 7, i dont really know is it me being a bad mother or what. she has never lied, and once she started going to school and with her friends she started lying. i would ask her something i knew that she did do, and she would lie about it, until i yell at her. now just today, she took some of my money, without even asking, she really cant tell what $1 are like and $20, so she took five of my 20 dollar bills to school, and when i came home i found one left in her pocket. before her dad asked her and she said no, so i found it and got really mad, and we asked her to go to her friends house and get the money back since she gave it to her friends. i don't know what to do, i am so mad, and my husbands all like, well don't put your stuff there. what can i do to make her a better person?

Do you belong to a church? or a Mosque?.. or some other organization with a moral code of conduct?

 

[skuderjaymes]

Before you break out the belt.. Their are several Teachable moments here..

She needs to learn:

1. What Trust is and why she should value it.. and also why it is necessary between a mother and daughter.
2. The Importance of Obedience.. which includes the cost of disobedience.. Knowledge Seed shared one way of communicating that.
3. The Function of money.. and the value of Money. It's good time to break out all of the different bills and familiarize her with their quantities in terms of what they can be traded for.. use examples of essentials.. Food, Shelter, clothing, etc..
4. What friendship is.. and how to manage friendships. You should find out why she felt she needed to give her friends money.

You can't communicate all of that with a belt or a switch. All she will learn is to not do what she did.. and also.. to fear mommy. And that will only cause her to hide more of her life from you. By the time she's 14 or 15 you won't know anything about her.. she'll just tell you what she has learned you want to hear.

Parenting is a lot of work.. and it takes a lot of patience.. You obviously know that, or you wouldn't have posed this question at all.. you just would have beat her and called it done.

Don't try and do all of these things I have listed in a single sitting.. break them up into a mini-program that includes.. stories.. a serious discussion.. some reading.. maybe some scenes from some movies.. and some consequences for her actions. Stress to her how important it is for her to regain your trust. Put your purse away.. exaggerate your distrust of her.. so she can see how it changes your relationship.. and have other people in your family participate in your program.

It's more work than a spanking.. but the results run far deeper than just some act of violence.

- peace.. and welcome to Destee.com