Black Poetry : We Decided to Meet on an Island, Part II

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by watzinaname, Apr 17, 2004.

  1. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Holding hands they slowly saunter
    down the cobbled road
    looking at the street venders trinkets
    not yet breaking the silent code
    of lingering love between them.
    The old stone pavement leads
    to one of the many indescribable
    beaches, where the coral bleeds
    a pastel rose hue into the sand.
    They spread a soft wite blanket on top
    of the pink granules. They look out at
    the sea, watching the waves crash and stop
    short of wetting their bare feet, the tide
    is coming in. He looks at her lips,
    she moistens them, and offers a glass of red
    wine. They sneak glances between sips,
    the mellow feeling adding to this dreamlike
    scene. He wonders how her lips taste,
    she wonders if his are as soft as they appear.
    Closing their eyes, tender kisses are placed,
    sugar and spice, tastes of love sweetly given
    and accepted as mouths open, tongues explore
    with hunger and longing, awakening frenzied
    spirits longing to discover more.
    The sun has set, the privacy of a cavern, just
    moments away, what are they waiting for?

    Will they?
     
  2. Obscure

    Obscure Active Member MEMBER

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    hmmmm .. i dont know which one i like more.
    maybe the first one.
    this was is decent also.
    this piece had a nice flow to it...
    it was pretty good.
    it sounds like there is gonna be a part three to this.
    ^ I was feelin those lines.it had a nice flow to it. there was some good imagery here. i like the metaphore that was used with the taste of love and the sugar and spice.

    overall good drop.
    waiting to read the next one
    7/10.

    no one on this board gives good constructive feedback, and i dont know why. well some people do. dont know.thats kinda wack.

    stay up

    WuN...
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    really lovin the sweet beauty of this meeting
    wow !!!
     
  4. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Obscure, you know I guess that name is meant to be ironic, because there doesn't seem to be anything obscure about you. First of all, thank you for letting me know that this scribe, and some lines in particular, brought you to this fantasy world. As far as comments on poems, sometimes I do better than others. There are so many poems now, I try to at least give a passing ^5. There is a written explaination of our poetic etiquette here you should give it a read if you haven't already. We're all about love here, which is good, cause you know, us artists can be sensitive, be it right or wrong.
     
  5. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I feel honored to have received a "wow" from you, Rich. I must be doing something right. Thank you for the thumbs up on this piece.
     
  6. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Oh my God...Girl...

    If I've ever felt as though I were pulled into a beautiful painting....

    this was it...

    I'm in awe and in love with what this piece represents...

    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

    Encore :spinstar: .....Encore :spinstar: .....Encore :spinstar:
     
  7. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sage, you know how this makes me feel. :blush: So, I will simply say that I am trying to make my visions more descriptive, and you're telling me that it's working. Luv ya, sis for all you do with your amazing pen.
     
  8. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    I'm truly enjoying
    this walk through
    your series!
    Loving it!
    Nice piece Sister!
     
  9. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks Purplemoons, for taking a stroll down this island, much appreciated.
     
  10. triniti424

    triniti424 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    *hehehehe* Ok ok ok I'm getting giddy let me move on to part 3 before I lose my mind smh lol
     
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