Black Poetry : We Decided to Meet on an Island, Part II

[watzinaname]

Holding hands they slowly saunter
down the cobbled road
looking at the street venders trinkets
not yet breaking the silent code
of lingering love between them.
The old stone pavement leads
to one of the many indescribable
beaches, where the coral bleeds
a pastel rose hue into the sand.
They spread a soft wite blanket on top
of the pink granules. They look out at
the sea, watching the waves crash and stop
short of wetting their bare feet, the tide
is coming in. He looks at her lips,
she moistens them, and offers a glass of red
wine. They sneak glances between sips,
the mellow feeling adding to this dreamlike
scene. He wonders how her lips taste,
she wonders if his are as soft as they appear.
Closing their eyes, tender kisses are placed,
sugar and spice, tastes of love sweetly given
and accepted as mouths open, tongues explore
with hunger and longing, awakening frenzied
spirits longing to discover more.
The sun has set, the privacy of a cavern, just
moments away, what are they waiting for?

Will they?

 

[Obscure]

hmmmm .. i dont know which one i like more.
maybe the first one.
this was is decent also.
this piece had a nice flow to it...
it was pretty good.
it sounds like there is gonna be a part three to this.

Closing their eyes, tender kisses are placed,
sugar and spice, tastes of love sweetly given
and accepted as mouths open, tongues explore

^ I was feelin those lines.it had a nice flow to it. there was some good imagery here. i like the metaphore that was used with the taste of love and the sugar and spice.

overall good drop.
waiting to read the next one
7/10.

no one on this board gives good constructive feedback, and i dont know why. well some people do. dont know.thats kinda wack.

stay up

WuN...

 

[$$RICH$$]

really lovin the sweet beauty of this meeting
wow !!!

 

[watzinaname]

Obscure, you know I guess that name is meant to be ironic, because there doesn't seem to be anything obscure about you. First of all, thank you for letting me know that this scribe, and some lines in particular, brought you to this fantasy world. As far as comments on poems, sometimes I do better than others. There are so many poems now, I try to at least give a passing ^5. There is a written explaination of our poetic etiquette here you should give it a read if you haven't already. We're all about love here, which is good, cause you know, us artists can be sensitive, be it right or wrong.

 

[watzinaname]

I feel honored to have received a "wow" from you, Rich. I must be doing something right. Thank you for the thumbs up on this piece.