Black Relationships : The Love That Hates.

[truetothecause]

those in relationship sciences, and life coaching would say otherwise. That you can't have a marriage with insecurities. There's a frying pan with my Uncle's name on it that says otherwise, and those two have been together for almost 35 years.

I am one whose credentials support my association as one in the "relationship science"....I mean...being a Family Therapist and all....l would not say "otherwise"

We can't use these insecurities as a reason for our relationships not to work,

I would suggest and RE~mind all that we live our lives on FIVE DIMENSIONS of experience ....at the same time! These experiences are framed from a family/communal[ity]. How insecure is she on an Individual and Societal level and what degree and what degree of emotional resources does she [or he] have to combat it.

Rarely have I see a couple or family break up for tension happening on ONE level of experience...It rarely is there any ONE thing that breaks a couple or family up. This is what I've seen and what I WOULD say, as a "life coach" (RE~call my reference to myself as the "Communications Coach":?, there's usually more than meets the eye in any sit or shyuation

if you love everything about your partner, most likely something IS wrong with you.

I think the thing is, at any given time, one CAN "love everything"....THEY KNOW about their partner....at any given time. The "wrong" about 'you' may be situated in the Reality that you are working with limited information .....and that's been a bad thing for Us....

Just some initial thoughts...

Thanks for Sharing and Listening to...

M.E.

 

[truetothecause]

It's so good to hear your own story through the voice of another, cuz you realize that you're not the only one to stumble over a rock now and then LOL. Ms. Fields breaks it down and has all the right cliches in place.
And I really like blonde hair on her.

I got a few more how comes?

how come some men want to live off their womben?
How come some womben let them?

How come some men claim to want a smart womban, a beautiful womban, and a devoted womban but then try to break her spirit once they have her?
How come some womben let them?

How come some men will spend their cash on beers, dates, and mindless entertainment but can't or won't come through with child support?
How come their momma's let them?

How come womben are so easily manipulated for everything through their emotions?
How come men know this before we do?

How come womben mess stuff up for one another by being the mistress, the side dish or the shorty?
How come men don't give away power like this?

How come a womban will pick up some one else's left overs, and be the doormat he desires instead of making him face growing up? (you know the type, she'll pay his child support, she'll give him pocket money, she'll let him sit his arse at home all day feigning enterpreneurship and artistic development rather than getting a J.O.B? )

How come men don't see when their own friends are haters? The single girlfriend isn't the only detriment to a relationship, try the best friend who lost his wing man!

How come when a man calls a womban a B.I.T.C.* more often than not he's talking about himself? Why don't womban know ahead of time there can only be one womb in the relationship? Asking your man to be in touch with his feminine side can seriously backfire!

How come acting like a punk at 40 years of age is still considered an insecurity?
How come womben spend more time on emotional intelligence then men?

How come some people feel that a relationship buys them instant self-esteem?

How come so many cultures of the Diaspora favor ridiculous sexual practices and social mores that undermine the security of the family?

HOW COME:?:
HOW THE FLIP~FLOPPING COME:?:

Dey behaving like white people....living the european cultural asili ....that very crazy way of being in the world.

For example, demonstrating grave inconsistencies in thought and behaviors..."I love myself" yet I put up or participate in any of the B.S. you asked about above.



M.E.

 

[Metaverse]

Powerful words Goddess Phynx and Goddess True!
And here's another Sistah's perspective- she says just stop second guessing and be still, but first she reveals some insecurities most Sistahs are unwilling to reveal....


It's interesting that some of the most beautiful Sistahs are the most heartbroken.


A very deep piece for the "Bitter Mama"


Where does Insecurity comes from? Another view.

Insecurity can come from genetics as well as from the childhood environment, but understanding a child and providing his or her needs can improve the feeling the security.

 

[Alexandra]

Are we to believe that ONLY women with NO men can think rational, or see through some BS?
Are we to believe that ONLY women with NO men can be freakier than a man's girlfriend (as opposed to the one with men)?

Brother Hornet,
I dont for one minute endorse any such blanket statements, and similarly, you cannot tell me that all manless friends are out to sabotage a relationship. The majority of us only have our friend’s best interests at heart; case in point, if I was to re-word the scenario you paint, as Laquita (hehe) I would ask Laquita why she waiting for her man to come home like an over eager housepet as opposed to finding more meaningful ways to occupy her time. This needines, a symptomg of a leaking, almost hameorrahging of identity is why a manless friend is mandatory for some females. It is our duty to hammer in the fact that a man should only represents the supplementary icing on her already rich and deeply satisfying cake, and not the flour, the eggs, the sugar..well, you get my point.


I recall the tale of this newly married man who was hysterical because as soon as his wife came home from work, she would ask him to give her some space and time to herself. He was practically having a breakdown, wondering if this was an indication that their marriage was doomed.

Interesting, oui?

But very seldom do you here men complain about their girlfriends best friends WHO HAVE MEN.

This is a no-brainer. The words ‘equally’ and ‘d*ckmatised* come to mind.

You don't need a man to have fun. I'm havin the time of my life!

Yes... sometimes misery truly does love company.

Lol. You make the single life seem like a stint in seventh hell. Brother H, there really is no issue at all about being single when one is mature enough to enjoy it. It should never be about having a boyfriend/girlfriend, but reaping the benefits that only a independent lifestyle can bring.

Alexandra

 

[Alexandra]

Good work Sister PoK.

How come men don't see when their own friends are haters? The single girlfriend isn't the only detriment to a relationship, try the best friend who lost his wing man!

Ha! I know right?!! When Metasaience spoke of his girlfriends calling his PC ‘that b*tch’, I honestly thought the b*tch in question was his PC – Partner in Crime, aka the Best friend and quite rightly so!!

Alexandra