Black Poetry : I'm Just Tired...

[coey30]

I write alot... its all truth, but this is personal for me..
I'm Just Tired...

If you’re looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality & wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you, it’s love. & when you love someone, you don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy, even then, especially then. You just don’t give up. Because if I could give up, if I could just, you know, take the whole world’s advice & move on & find someone else, that wouldn’t be love. That would be some other disposable thing not worth fighting for but that’s not what this is….

I try to let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday
And I lie to myself by saying Im okay
When clearly I am not
I’ve harden to point where my insides have become solid as rock
And I still cry
And I still try
And sometime if I had my choice between heartache and living, I’d still rather die
Its going to take a miracle to remove the sadness in my heart
That time when I’m alone and my way of thinking is not that smart
These fake smiles, I thought would become a permanent fixture one my face
I just want to run, run to another place
And I have prayed for some peace and Gods Grace
I know it coming, it just has not taken place
And it my feeling that wake me up in the middle of the night
Looking around for someone to tell me it’s going to be alright
But I’m left with the sound and glow of the TV screen
And I roll over and bundle up trying to find the comfort that love brings
I close my eyes and try to live in my dreams
And this loneliness, got me about to act irrational
Today I realized that I’m never truly happy, it’s just some days I’m just a little bit sad than others
This mean I’m broken and damaged beyond repair
Just when I think I’m moving forward I’m still here, no where
And I find myself drinking, not because I like the taste but because everything taste sweeter without a conscious thought
So Gin, Tequila, Rum and Vodka is what I bought
I know I not going to find what I need in these bottles and glasses
I just know this feeling hasn’t stop even with all the time that passes
But I step up and look into the mirror
I wipe my tears to see more clearly

And I say:
Hey friend, don’t kill yourself tonight ok. You have a really pretty smile and I know it’s not always easy to manage one but it’d be a bummer if we never had the chance to see it ever again, you’re really important and you matter a lot so stay safe and try and have a nice sleep….

 

[HODEE]

I write alot... its all truth, but this is personal for me..
I'm Just Tired...

If you’re looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality & wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you, it’s love. & when you love someone, you don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy, even then, especially then. You just don’t give up. Because if I could give up, if I could just, you know, take the whole world’s advice & move on & find someone else, that wouldn’t be love. That would be some other disposable thing not worth fighting for but that’s not what this is….

I try to let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday
And I lie to myself by saying Im okay
When clearly I am not
I’ve harden to point where my insides have become solid as rock
And I still cry
And I still try
And sometime if I had my choice between heartache and living, I’d still rather die
Its going to take a miracle to remove the sadness in my heart
That time when I’m alone and my way of thinking is not that smart
These fake smiles, I thought would become a permanent fixture one my face
I just want to run, run to another place
And I have prayed for some peace and Gods Grace
I know it coming, it just has not taken place
And it my feeling that wake me up in the middle of the night
Looking around for someone to tell me it’s going to be alright
But I’m left with the sound and glow of the TV screen
And I roll over and bundle up trying to find the comfort that love brings
I close my eyes and try to live in my dreams
And this loneliness, got me about to act irrational
Today I realized that I’m never truly happy, it’s just some days I’m just a little bit sad than others
This mean I’m broken and damaged beyond repair
Just when I think I’m moving forward I’m still here, no where
And I find myself drinking, not because I like the taste but because everything taste sweeter without a conscious thought
So Gin, Tequila, Rum and Vodka is what I bought
I know I not going to find what I need in these bottles and glasses
I just know this feeling hasn’t stop even with all the time that passes
But I step up and look into the mirror
I wipe my tears to see more clearly

And I say:
Hey friend, don’t kill yourself tonight ok. You have a really pretty smile and I know it’s not always easy to manage one but it’d be a bummer if we never had the chance to see it ever again, you’re really important and you matter a lot so stay safe and try and have a nice sleep….

I enjoy your poetry Brother.. keep it going. This is some "For real flow".
This situation exist, and is not an isolated occurrence. Thoughts of abandonment, out of the mind. Walking away thought of many times. Taken for granted, and given no consideration are typical in one way love affairs.

All that may be left is self love, and self respect. Taking those two, and working towards one's own interest and doing the "YOU" thing is long over due. When that happens the other, begins to notice.. the hold they had has waned. They panic and wake up. Or keep on abusing the thang. Either way they don't understand, take no one for granted especially when they have your interest in heart, mind or hand.

Possibly there are commitments that are keeping hold, there could be children that isn't yet that old. But when the time comes to pack, don't hesitate to pack and go. One one deserves a life like this, but text books are wrong it happens to both sex's. For a woman she stays for the children, it also flows the other way. To a man it seems like a weak response, but in reality it isn't. It is strength he holds out. " They say the water isn't missed until the well run dry" When the quenching of the wants, and the flow stops realization takes hold.

Like a train on the same track, one going east and the other going west. No forward progress just frustration motion and pull. That kind of relationship is ultimately doomed financially and in every room. It keeps one unfocused, it takes away the heart, it burns and it never seems to end no matter how much effort is placed against it. There is something missed, is there someone else filling certain corners of bliss. If the situation is not that kind. Then that person is not use to being close. Have difficulty realizing and even learning how to reciprocate love. Can't give what they never experienced or had"

If you’re looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality & wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you, it’s love.

Give in life only what is needed. Wants are frivolous and always unattainable and forever fleeting.

 

[1poetsought]