I write alot... its all truth, but this is personal for me.. I'm Just Tired... If you’re looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality & wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you, it’s love. & when you love someone, you don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy, even then, especially then. You just don’t give up. Because if I could give up, if I could just, you know, take the whole world’s advice & move on & find someone else, that wouldn’t be love. That would be some other disposable thing not worth fighting for but that’s not what this is…. I try to let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday And I lie to myself by saying Im okay When clearly I am not I’ve harden to point where my insides have become solid as rock And I still cry And I still try And sometime if I had my choice between heartache and living, I’d still rather die Its going to take a miracle to remove the sadness in my heart That time when I’m alone and my way of thinking is not that smart These fake smiles, I thought would become a permanent fixture one my face I just want to run, run to another place And I have prayed for some peace and Gods Grace I know it coming, it just has not taken place And it my feeling that wake me up in the middle of the night Looking around for someone to tell me it’s going to be alright But I’m left with the sound and glow of the TV screen And I roll over and bundle up trying to find the comfort that love brings I close my eyes and try to live in my dreams And this loneliness, got me about to act irrational Today I realized that I’m never truly happy, it’s just some days I’m just a little bit sad than others This mean I’m broken and damaged beyond repair Just when I think I’m moving forward I’m still here, no where And I find myself drinking, not because I like the taste but because everything taste sweeter without a conscious thought So Gin, Tequila, Rum and Vodka is what I bought I know I not going to find what I need in these bottles and glasses I just know this feeling hasn’t stop even with all the time that passes But I step up and look into the mirror I wipe my tears to see more clearly And I say: Hey friend, don’t kill yourself tonight ok. You have a really pretty smile and I know it’s not always easy to manage one but it’d be a bummer if we never had the chance to see it ever again, you’re really important and you matter a lot so stay safe and try and have a nice sleep….