Black Parenting : Don't make me come back there!

[Queenie]

I like how I am told to have more perspective when I bring in PART of my views on the way blacks communicate and fixate on these ideas....but when every black person has tunnel vision and says the same old lines word for word and acts like there is no other way to raise kids successfully...they are just being real......and I am the closed minded one.

Sorry for not holding the "black" opinion...not that any of you know my whole opinion. You have just seen my anger at the tunnel vision black folks get some times.

MrBlak, the point where you and I disagree is when you suggested that people who are expressing a different view than yours were taking "pride" in the way they were raised if spanking was involved. I'm certainly not suggesting that there may not be other ways to raise a child because that would be ridiculous. Your opinion is certainly welcomed and I for one, respect it, just don't agree with it. I don't recall reading that you have a child yet but I have and as much as I may want to sit here and say that I never spanked her when she was growing up, I can't because there were times when I honestly believed it was necessary. But that doesn't mean that I didn't attempt to explore other options either before I disciplined her. Like most people, I have a certain set of values and beliefs that I won't compromise on nor tolerate disrespect and when a child has the benefit of knowing the difference which mine did, then I believe that the punishment must fit the infraction. But that's just my opinion and single voice of experience.

Queenie

 

[MrBlak]

This is my last post on this and maybe here overall.

You seem to be the reasonable one here..but still are missing the point.

There are a million and one things that go into raising a child and yet blacks dont talk about it....not here, not else where. Only beatings are of interest. I tested this and observed it too. The one test I did when no one paid attention to my observations was to ask black parents to lay out all the different ways to teach kids to not behave and avoid punishment. I did this at the same time that one of the member took my comment about how black would be all over a "what did your mama beat you with" hypothetcal thread. The jerk made the thread and in 24 h, my thread about teaching kids to do right got 3 hits....the "what did your mama beat you with" thred got over 120 replies....and they were talking and laughing about what they were beaten with. When you fixate on something and talk about it all day, when most of what you consider the funniest jokes revolve around it, when any discussion of community improvement includes it, when people in the community who speak out about it are called soft or "white".....YOU ARE PROUD OF IT.

I dont want to hang around so the last thing I will let you know is my opinion: To strike a child open handedly as a last resort is perfectly fine with me. PERIOD.

What I have a problem with is that many take it too far....black people dont spank...they bet with objects....then when people like me speak out...I am told "thats part of being black"....that is called being PROUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am also against the idea that there is no such thing as abuse......Black people define abuse as at least a step beyond what ever their parents did, so that they can say it does exist....but they were never a victim.....wouldnt matter if mom ripped the meat off their back....they would simply define abuse as being hit over the head with a bat......and YES...I have heard that line numerous times...I did not make it up. Also, has your parents ever spoken to or taught you anything??? If so at that point they were affecting how you turn out without hitting you. If beatings constitute 5% of child rearing....then why does it constitute 99% of conversation on child rearing??????????? (PROUDNESS)

Anyways, I am talking to one person who seems to be listening, you, and a brick wall, the rest of black people. This is the only discussion (where people care to respond to me) I am having on this site and that is no reason to stay.

Have a good life...you are one of few that is reasonable out here NNQueen.

peace

MrBlak

 

[Isaiah]

This is my last post on this and maybe here overall.

You seem to be the reasonable one here..but still are missing the point.

There are a million and one things that go into raising a child and yet blacks dont talk about it....not here, not else where. Only beatings are of interest. I tested this and observed it too. The one test I did when no one paid attention to my observations was to ask black parents to lay out all the different ways to teach kids to not behave and avoid punishment. I did this at the same time that one of the member took my comment about how black would be all over a "what did your mama beat you with" hypothetcal thread. The jerk made the thread and in 24 h, my thread about teaching kids to do right got 3 hits....the "what did your mama beat you with" thred got over 120 replies....and they were talking and laughing about what they were beaten with. When you fixate on something and talk about it all day, when most of what you consider the funniest jokes revolve around it, when any discussion of community improvement includes it, when people in the community who speak out about it are called soft or "white".....YOU ARE PROUD OF IT.

I dont want to hang around so the last thing I will let you know is my opinion: To strike a child open handedly as a last resort is perfectly fine with me. PERIOD.

What I have a problem with is that many take it too far....black people dont spank...they bet with objects....then when people like me speak out...I am told "thats part of being black"....that is called being PROUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am also against the idea that there is no such thing as abuse......Black people define abuse as at least a step beyond what ever their parents did, so that they can say it does exist....but they were never a victim.....wouldnt matter if mom ripped the meat off their back....they would simply define abuse as being hit over the head with a bat......and YES...I have heard that line numerous times...I did not make it up. Also, has your parents ever spoken to or taught you anything??? If so at that point they were affecting how you turn out without hitting you. If beatings constitute 5% of child rearing....then why does it constitute 99% of conversation on child rearing??????????? (PROUDNESS)

Anyways, I am talking to one person who seems to be listening, you, and a brick wall, the rest of black people. This is the only discussion (where people care to respond to me) I am having on this site and that is no reason to stay.

Have a good life...you are one of few that is reasonable out here NNQueen.

peace

MrBlak

Mr. Blak, actually, you are right about the violence African parents oft inflict/inflicted on their children... Dr. Joy Leary has done extensive research on what she calls Post-Slavery Traumatic Syndrome, and she points to Black parents beating their children with their clothes off as a carry over from slavery... That blew me away, because of it's obvious logic... So, brother, I can understand where you are coming from on that...

My problem with you is that sometimes you come off as though you've heard it, seen it, and know it all... You being 20-something, I know damned well you haven't... Grant me that???(smile!) It is how you present your thoughts, man... I apologize if I have offended you in the past... I can be very straightforward in my old age...

Peace!
isaiah

 

[Angela22]

On another thread, a frw of us brought up the point that parents, especially Black parents, seem to threaten their children with violence to make them "act right." What is the worst thing you have said you your kids to keep them in line? What is the worst thing your parents have said to you?

I wouldn't say threaten; I would call it more of a warning. I wouldn't say violence either, but say rather discipline. Teaching a child to act rightly and telling them you'll get physical doesn't mean you are now giving the child threats; threatening with violence sounds like it would be more damaging, as to, more than a child's body could take. But discipline is right where they can take it, but still get the point you're making.


My parents would always let it be known when they were getting upset with how I was acting by stating, "I'm warning you.................." or "you keep playin' around, hear?"

That would set me straight as a child...sometimes.

 

[BLAQ LOVE POURAHTREE]

"Your tongue is the weapon of choice; the mind is the solution; your emotion is the cause."

(Diary of a Black Man: Just An Illusion) Copyright 2014