Black People : Sex Does Not = Relationship

[skuderjaymes]

That is not our makeup. We view it as having our favorite meal. We savor it. We love differently and a lot deeper. Which why we go ballistic when things dont work out.

I hope you can understand that difference. Sex isnt intimacy to us. It never has been

You gotta be kidding Kem.. Sex isn't intimacy to us? come on now..
context is everything.. and all sex is not all sex.. to say that sex isn't intimacy
because we are men, is just plain wrong.. your sex may not be intimate but
that has nothing to do with being a man.. that has to do with you being Kem..
and your attitude toward your own sex.. I don't share my sex with just
anyone.. and I don't regard it as a transaction.. or as a thing in an of itself..
for me, it's a mode of intimate expression.. it's part of a larger connection
between me and her.. and to my way of thinking.. that's what our sex is for..
and those other concepts, in my opinion, are narcissistic perversions that
turn our sex from something that is synergistic and spiritual into something that
is utilitarian and selfish..​

 

[CreativeGrl]

You gotta be kidding Kem.. Sex isn't intimacy to us? your sex may not be intimate but
that has nothing to do with being a man.. that has to do with you being Kem..
​

 

[Strengthn1sself]

Well said Skuder. That is exactly why I asked my questions because it seems as though he was trying to speak for all men that sex is a vocational thing, which simply isn't true. It's more than a trivial thing like scratching an itch to most men imo. We're living in an age now where some women are starting to have the same mentality that sex is just sex and if they use that rationale with the men that they are sexing, whether they are or are not in a relationship with them, those men feel it. They feel upset inwardly of course because the emotions aren't outwardly displayed and ego jumps in but nevertheless, it's within, it's apparent and one can't hide from what's within.

So again, the question is asked: If sex is just sex, for all men, why when some women follow that rationale with the men that they are with and look for additional sex from men other than there mates, some of those mates have a hard time with that?

 

[Kemetstry]

You gotta be kidding Kem.. Sex isn't intimacy to us? come on now..
context is everything.. and all sex is not all sex.. to say that sex isn't intimacy
because we are men, is just plain wrong.. your sex may not be intimate but
that has nothing to do with being a man.. that has to do with you being Kem..
and your attitude toward your own sex.. I don't share my sex with just
anyone.. and I don't regard it as a transaction.. or as a thing in an of itself..
for me, it's a mode of intimate expression.. it's part of a larger connection
between me and her.. and to my way of thinking.. that's what our sex is for..
and those other concepts, in my opinion, are narcissistic perversions that
turn our sex from something that is synergistic and spiritual into something that
is utilitarian and selfish..​

I am not wrong. And you are pandering on this. No one said it was a transaction. And you are lying about it being intimacy for you. If this is true, you have never loved and left. You have always had long term relationships and you wanted to marry each one of them. Oh, by definition, there wouldnt have been that many so you would have married your high school sweet heart. But you didnt

So a little truth here

 

[awo dino]

Please help me out with your reasoning. Your father smirked at you but if you believe that if one of your sisters were in the same predicament the consquences would have be dire. Why should that be? Sex is just sex to a man and your father is a man;therefore, he wouldn't be upset if that happened right?

That's just a silly question, Strengthn1sself. I never said it should be like that, now did I? It's a double standard that exists. I didn't come up with it. It existed way before me or my father. Boys are treated differently than girls when it comes to sex. This differing treatment must play out in some part as to how we come to feel about sex. You disagree with that?
Secondly, sex is not ALWAYS sex to a man. part of the reason I married my wife was because with her, sex was not just sex. And I doubt that's what Kem is saying either. The point I (and probably Kem) are making is that, men can have sex and be totally detached emotionally. Obviously, if a man are in a relationship sex is more than just sex. But most of us, if we take a dip on the side, regard it as more like sport.