Black Relationships : Working women vs. Homemakers

[spicybrown]

It Is Possible

I basically am a housewife/housemother. I worked part-time ONLY while my child(baby then) was at daycare, and while fiance was at work. I went back to school, and work when she became school-aged(6). It can be tough, but I work my schedule around theirs, so I'm home to take care of things when they come back.

 

[mominga]

Being a housewife/housemother is the most fulfilling experience. I'm sure the housefathers would agree. However in this arrangement, a Black woman is seen as a lazy, fat moocher. On the other hand, a white mother is seen as a loving doting mother to Kirsten, Josh, Zoe, and Mandy, while being fed peanut bitter&jam sandwich wedgies, and fish sticks. Go figure

So true! Most of the white men I know see it as a badge of honor that their wives don't work. My husband is that way. But to hear some brothers tell it, they won't let ANY woman "mooch" off of them, not even the wife who carried their baby for nine months. But I've even had some sisters tell me that they could never stay at home and "do nothing", that they have to bring in some cheese and that they would never rely on a man to take care of them, even their husbands. I find that really sad.

It's one thing to be a stupid woman, one who lets the man handle the money, insurance, working, etc, and ALL you do is stay home with the kids, oblivious to how the real world works. But it's quite another to take care of the kids, the home, pay the bills, set the budget, and know all about the insurance policies and whatnot. If, God forbid, something happened between me and my husband, I know what's what and he would definetely not have the upper hand.

Feminism is about options. Smart women do what's best for their children and their families. If that's working, so be it. If it's staying home, so be it.

 

[Sanaiah25]

Spicy


I'm gonna "go figure" out how to find me a woman who loves walking around the house barefoot and being stuffed with fish-sticks and Nutella sandwiches...lol.

Did you entirely miss spicy's point of the double standard, or were you just intentionally sarcastic?

 

[PoeticManifesta]

Well.. ladies..
id perefer to work from home. A home office is a tax break.. lol.. and im all for tax breaks..

 

[Keita Kenyatta]

I guess I'm lucky, cause I've worn both hats and so has Queen. Since I can not speak for Queen, let me give you my perspective.

1. I don't think "a Homemaker is over rated at all". It is a job all in itself if it is done right. Because we homeschool our daughter there has always been a need for one of us to be home.

When it was I who was at home, I took a joy in having everything in order, dinner done, bath water waiting for her when she got in. I used to get all hot just watching her get dressed for work. Made me want to strip her down and get buck wild.

2.While she was working it also gave me time to begin working on my other two books...so my day was really a productive one and a time filled one between "home making, home schooling and working on my books.

3. Now that the situation is reversed I sort of miss the productive time I once had and really need to do what I need to do. However, on the same hand...since it is she who has a home based business on top of having to home school and still take care of the home, I'm not sure I would want to be in her shoes.

So there are pros and cons to the situation as well as whether or not you have short range or long range vision and goals that determine what's best for you. I...we aren't into immediate gratification due to understanding the big picture.