Black Relationships : Why are there so many single parent households in black communities?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by kente417mojo, May 28, 2004.

  1. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I always wonder why there are so many single parent households in the black communties? A topic in another forum prompted me to start this thread. Are black men the problem? Are black women the problem? Is there a lack of family values amongst black people nowadays? What is you opinion of this issue?
     
  2. MrBlak

    MrBlak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It stems from the sad state of black relationships. They are so brittle nd smash aprt easily. There is little trust and everyone is playing games....at least amongst those who get to play in "the game". It seems to me that many are left behind. The most marrige/family minded males are often single and alone barely able to get a daamn date while guys who just wanna screw around are forever getting women who wanna settle down, or who they end up knocking up.

    There are responsible good women out there too that are left behind too. All the wrong connections are being made and that makes people bitter, making black relationships even more messed up.

    Also, there is pure selfishness. Guys who wanted a reltionship, but not to take care of the seed they created....and women who want the man to support the baby, but refuse a permanent relationship with him becuase they dont wanna be tied down or decided they could do better. If they thought they could do better, why put themself in a position to get pregnant?? As for the guy, he gets bitter she rejected his offer and doesnt support the kid making the kid suffer.

    Also, there are many people who are middle age that are getting divorced or were never married so it aint just young people....there are few role models for the young.

    JMO
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I think we lost way due to lack of faith and being true to ourselves
    so many get married at young ages and really don't treasure the vows
    of commitment we also have fewer role models who hold value in a marriage
    to love is a secret vow held in the eyes of GOD we're having children at younger
    ages that say we are not teaching them the values of commitment and how to
    love a KING or QUEEN so play , cheating and disrespect come in we lose our
    black women to other races for the lack of black men being true and fair in the
    game call love loose tongue and women as well downing bruthas for lack of
    this & that , it takes away any hope to stay together so we part on many
    soft reasons in life everyone hold a different point of view the question is
    WHERE DO IT END AND REBIRTH OF FAMILY MORALS AND LOVIN COMMITMENT
    WITH VALUES START !???
     
  4. Nita

    Nita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This may sound funny, but bare with me. I think the reason why there are so many single parent homes is because of Single parent homes...lQQkin..
    Did that make sense???..lol
    O.K. when I lQQk at my friends, married and single, and there has been an issue of one cheating, the one cheating came from a single parent home.

    Not to say that ALL single parent homes fail in raising children, but I think there is a connection that can't be ignored. A male not having a father figure in the home, or worse, having one who disrespects his mother, can't possibly know how to treat his mate. How can that male know how to respect a woman if he has never seen that example of a man. The same goes for a woman. If she grew up seeing her mother being treated bad by men, how can she learn to have respect for herself? How can either of them carry a relationship when all the examples of relationships have been bad ones?
    When I separated, I blamed my husband for not being a man, and taking care of his responsibilities. It hit me one day, how could I be mad at him when he was screwed basically from the point of birth. His father didn't care about him, or support him in any way. On top of that his father had 2 other son in which he did care for, just think of how that must have made him feel...smh
    He also had a stepfather who cheated on his mom alot and she allowed it. He brought beer and cancer sticks (cigarettes) in the house and let him drink and smoke...smh....
    I'm angry at all the men that messed up his life, and me and my childrens lives.
    That's why if you have a son or a daughter, watch what yo do and say. If you know you don't have anything positive to offer that child, then let them be. It's a start, maybe one day we can reverse this.
    Peace
    Nita
     
  5. Tantrum

    Tantrum Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Man thats deep question
    For me personally my father just like to club
    Wasnt a father in the sense he was there emotionally for me
    Yet was a man where he was there finacially for me
    When I really needed him-To this day
    He still clubs and parties all night
    Its super crazy-My mother always laid back
    Chill mode all the time-So maybe thats the reason
    Yet me and my mother take shots of Tequila from timne to time
    I use to cry about my father not spending time with me
    But I learned there are harder things in life
    Than worring about when my father would be home

    So I think it deals alot with people
    Not having there priorities in order
     
  6. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Because.....


    There is this current myth amongst sisters that you dont need or want a man getting in the femaoles way of raising THEIR child. This myth goes away right around the time the child becomes a teen.

    There is also a belief, in spite of over 40 years of the feminist movement, that you can still entrap a man by having his baby

    And some just stupidly dont protect themselves
     
  7. Tantrum

    Tantrum Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yeah I can see what you mean
     
  8. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Boys that never become men
     
  9. Tantrum

    Tantrum Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Its deeper than that sis
    Believe that much deeper than that
     
  10. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Why do you think there is?
    Most women are more responsible than men.
    When a woman tries to make it work the man has already mentally and physically moved on.
    That's like asking why a black msn don't take care of his biological children but will move in with a women and take care of kids that are not even his.
    Man and woman two different species, one wants to control and the other wants to dominate!
     
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