Black Short Stories : Stripping Ain't Easy: (Part IV: Too comfortable)

Discussion in 'Short Stories - Authors - Writing' started by krazelyricks, May 10, 2004.

  1. krazelyricks

    krazelyricks Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Life was better than ever. I mean, I had mad dough, I was meeting men like crazy, and did I mention I was making mad loot? I'm for real ya'll, I had it going on. People were traveling from afar just to come and see me. Word had quickly spread about the little city girl that had it going on big at The Gold Nugget. I had people from Cobb, Clayton, Athens, and Duluth coming to see me. For ya'll that don't know that is cities that are very far from Atlanta. I had to be making at least $1200 a night. At first, I thought that that was just going to be for the first night but I quickly realized that it wasn't like that. This was my real nightly money wages.

    The girls at the club were getting mad jealous too. I thought it was just my imagination at first but then I found out it was REAL. They would sit in their clicks all the time and look at me and point. Some would even roll their eyes at me when I passed after a lap dance. I had to start keeping a switch blade with me at all times. That's just how much I feared for my life.

    "I'm telling you this is for real yo. These broads don't like me at all yo."

    "Oh girl, you just buggin'. They like that with all the new people."

    "Monique, I've been here for three months. How new can I be? I can't help that their people don't want them anymore and they want me."

    I had tooken a lot of girls regulars over the months I had been here. I had a least 20 people on stand by at all times. Most of the others girls didn't even get private parties anymore let alone private dances but I was at a party every two days.

    "Look girl, I told you what you were up for when you got this job. I told you these girls were crazy. I mean, taking a girl's man is like a death penalty and you've taken plenty. I got cho' back though." She tried to assure me.

    "I just don't know. What if you're not around when they come down on me yo? What's going to happen then? I don't have any other friends. You my only one. No one else even talks to me."

    "You're be aiight. I'll be there yo. I told you I got your back."

    "Aiight."

    I looked in the mirror to refresh my makeup. I had sweated big time. It was hard trying to keep make up on in this spot. I mean between kissing brothas on the cheek and open and closing my legs I was always sweating. I don't see how a man did it. Some of these girls didn't keep themselves up and when they sweated they were musty. Not me though, I always had that Sure on stand by. I always smelled like baby powder.

    I smelled my clothes. I smelled like weed. This fat man was all in my face blowing smoke on me. I smiled but to be honest I just wanted to slap him.

    Monique got up and went back outside to make some money. I was thinking about leaving early and going home.

    "Monique!" I called after her.

    She turned around. "I think I'm going home."

    "What, on a Friday night?"

    "Yeah, I don't feel good."

    I wasn't feeling good for real. I was having mad cramps and my head was spinning like I had had one too many drinks.

    "Okay, well I'll see you when I get there." She walked.


    To be continued.......the end is near
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    awesome story u really creating a young book here.....
     
  3. krazelyricks

    krazelyricks Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks Rich, the end is near though.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    bring it so i can taste the ending
    this was a great story time up get ready
    to put it in print lil sis...
     
  5. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Nice story Foxi. I've been to ATL, the place is something. My brother inlaw took me into some of the darkest and most dangerous places. He also does security at Strip clubs. I helped him get his home there. He asked me if I wanted to build myself a house on the land in back of him. I turned it down, because it would be hard to live there, with my restless nature.

    Cant wait for you to finish the story. I'm waiting to read the next chapter. Don't let her be jumped or taken out, this story can flow a long time.

    ( Customers, from out of town, dont forget them. They do come back - note: too much info from personal experience) I'm up in da club..
     
  6. the_story

    the_story Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    this was a good story fox, i enjoyed i'm eager to see how this one is gone end...
    :heart:
    -story
     
  7. SensualReality

    SensualReality Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Fox wassup mami?lol sorry I'm late on responding I been busy wit my school work I'm feelin this piece too off the meat rack hotta then bologna :lol::wave:
     
  8. krazelyricks

    krazelyricks Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ya'll crazy yo. Thanks for feeling this though. I'll make sure that it's a mind twister for ya'll. Who know. I may even make it a book. Thanks for the love ya'll. :cool:
     
  9. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    perfect title
    this is big business in the ATL
    your writing is just as vivid
    in short story form as it is
    in poetry...

    I'll be looking for the continuation
     
  10. DayDream

    DayDream Member MEMBER

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    whoa

    OH MY GOSH!!!! COULD YOU HURRY UP WITH THE NEXT PART PLEASE!!!! NOT NICE TO KEEP PEOPLE WAITING THIS LONG...CHECKING EVERY HOUR...ON THE HOUR...FOR THE CONTINUATION...JUST MEAN! LOL. NICE STORY BUT SERIOUSLY, HURRY UP!! :rolling:
     
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