Black Relationships : My Sister's Boyfriend Treats Her like A two dollar H0, and she won't let go

[Sweet baby_face]

Sometimes you have to let them bump their own head. Once she sees it for hersself..the situation that is...and after that trust me..she will listen to ya..

I second that emotion.
Some people are stubborn and bull-headed
Or she just don't know her worth and settling for some1
who just told her that she's pretty and feeding her a bunch of nonsense.

 

[Kemetstry]

Unfortunately...

My older sister's been dating this one moron for a little over a year, and he treats her like an effing hooker. She hasn't been living with my family since two years ago, but she visits often and she's been bringing her little boyfriend along with her for like the past five months almost every week. Everyone in my family hates this guy. He's obnoxious, he's narcissistic, he offends people without giving them the right to be offended, and he's ignorant.

He just does not know how he should treat woman. He orders my sister around like she's his maid, and he doesn't even have the courtesy to open a door for her or pull ot her chair. He acts like its his right. One would think that he wouldn't be so bossy around his grilfriend's parents, but this guy, I think, has the idea in his head that he's God's Italian gift to my family and that we should all be grateful. He's a distraction to my sister. I think he's the reason she's been having more problems keeping up with her academics (yes, we still check up on her), lately, which is serious because she's not in high school anymore. Everything she does defines how successful she'll end up.

Anyway today, she calls and tells me to tell my parents when they got home that she's moving in with the jerkoff, because they're ready to be more serious. So I tell her that I hate him and she gets mad at me. Well, what was I supposed to do? I thought that they would start to fall apart, not get closer. She gives me a lecture on how I should get out of her business and that she's staying with him, blah, blah, blah. Now she's mad at me and ignoring me.

I don't know why she likes him so much. They have absolutely nothing in common. He doesn't even understand our culture or why we're not the same color (which is weird, considering Italians come in many colors, too). He doesn't like that my parents are strict and "in her business," he doesn't like that she studies psychology, he doesn't like that she doesn't allow him to smoke in the car, he doesn't understand why she doesn't like to drink alcohol when they go out, and he doesn't like that she changes her hair color all the time. And he was dumb enough to say this all out loud in an overly-comfortable tone.

I don't know how to make her see.

There is little you can do. The more any of you try, the closer she will cling to the loser. My sister did the same. You must wait patiently and observe. But when he hurts her, you cant rush in with hugs. This will validate the behavior and lead her to a series of losers. You must point blank, in no uncertain terms, tell her she was told so and raised better.

My sister ended up in a hospital ( not by his hand ). We had to take her there. Homie, living in her apartment ( she was paying the rent ), driving her car ( she paid the note ), was not seen for a month while she was hospitalized. My mother and aunts wanted to hug and nurture her. I asked her did she like being sick and in the hospital? I told her to get use to it. My mother and aunts attacked me for being callous. Until, I asked them did they raise her to pay the rent, food, and car note for any man? They said, no and then joined me in my attack. LMAO

She is now married to a very nice guy, going 20+ years.

 

[panafrica]

There is little you can do. The more any of you try, the closer she will cling to the loser. My sister did the same. You must wait patiently and observe. But when he hurts her, you cant rush in with hugs. This will validate the behavior and lead her to a series of losers. You must point blank, in no uncertain terms, tell her she was told so and raised better.

My sister ended up in a hospital ( not by his hand ). We had to take her there. Homie, living in her apartment ( she was paying the rent ), driving her car ( she paid the note ), was not seen for a month while she was hospitalized. My mother and aunts wanted to hug and nurture her. I asked her did she like being sick and in the hospital? I told her to get use to it. My mother and aunts attacked me for being callous. Until, I asked them did they raise her to pay the rent, food, and car note for any man? They said, no and then joined me in my attack. LMAO

She is now married to a very nice guy, going 20+ years.

That's what you call "tough love" which many people clearly need!

 

[soulsearcher]

That's what you call "tough love" which many people clearly need!

That may work in certain situations, but I think ultimately it's up to the individual as frustrating as it is for family members.

There are certain periods where the person may be more aware of how wrong their behavior or relationship really is. During these periods I personally think there needs to be a mixture of nurture and 'tough love.' They also need to see other examples of people whose lives have been destroyed by whatever they are doing or not doing. Lord knows in Victoria's sister's situation there are no shortage of talk shows, movies like the Burning Bed and other media showing how domestic violence can ultimately end.

 

[spicybrown]

SMH......while LMAO

Spicy


Lol...

I don't call myself Dual Karnayn (The Two Horned One) for nothing!




Sanaiah


True.
Actually the men are more obvious with thier choices for lighter women.




PanAfrican



White supremacy is at the root of it all.

The chain goest like this:

Many Dominicans look down on Haitians because of their darker skin.

Many Puerto Ricans look down on Dominicans for thier darker skin.

Many Mexicans and other Spaniards look down on Puerto Ricans for THEIR darker skin.

Italians may look down on Spaniards and Latinos of the Western Hemisphere because of thier darker skin.

And guess what.....the Anglo-Saxon white man is shaking his head and looking down on ALL of them.


I'd say about 50% of all the fighting being done in Africa and Asia is really over who is genetically closest to that whiter or atleast "lighter" tribe who invaded the land centuries ago.
Everybody is fighting over who has the most of THEIR blood coursing throught their veins.


We need to find a way to reverse this.


The Italian police officer (Volpe) who stuck that plunger up our Haitian brother Louima actually had a Black wife.

I try to tell em'