Black Relationships : My Sister's Boyfriend Treats Her like A two dollar H0, and she won't let go

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Victoria87, Nov 16, 2005.

  1. Victoria87

    Victoria87 Active Member MEMBER

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    My older sister's been dating this one moron for a little over a year, and he treats her like an effing hooker. She hasn't been living with my family since two years ago, but she visits often and she's been bringing her little boyfriend along with her for like the past five months almost every week. Everyone in my family hates this guy. He's obnoxious, he's narcissistic, he offends people without giving them the right to be offended, and he's ignorant.

    He just does not know how he should treat woman. He orders my sister around like she's his maid, and he doesn't even have the courtesy to open a door for her or pull ot her chair. He acts like its his right. One would think that he wouldn't be so bossy around his grilfriend's parents, but this guy, I think, has the idea in his head that he's God's Italian gift to my family and that we should all be grateful. He's a distraction to my sister. I think he's the reason she's been having more problems keeping up with her academics (yes, we still check up on her), lately, which is serious because she's not in high school anymore. Everything she does defines how successful she'll end up.

    Anyway today, she calls and tells me to tell my parents when they got home that she's moving in with the jerkoff, because they're ready to be more serious. So I tell her that I hate him and she gets mad at me. Well, what was I supposed to do? I thought that they would start to fall apart, not get closer. She gives me a lecture on how I should get out of her business and that she's staying with him, blah, blah, blah. Now she's mad at me and ignoring me.

    I don't know why she likes him so much. They have absolutely nothing in common. He doesn't even understand our culture or why we're not the same color (which is weird, considering Italians come in many colors, too). He doesn't like that my parents are strict and "in her business," he doesn't like that she studies psychology, he doesn't like that she doesn't allow him to smoke in the car, he doesn't understand why she doesn't like to drink alcohol when they go out, and he doesn't like that she changes her hair color all the time. And he was dumb enough to say this all out loud in an overly-comfortable tone.

    I don't know how to make her see.
     
  2. Nisa

    Nisa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sometimes you have to let them bump their own head. Once she sees it for hersself..the situation that is...and after that trust me..she will listen to ya..
     
  3. Victoria87

    Victoria87 Active Member MEMBER

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    yeah, but my sister's kinda slow. She doesn't realize things until it's too late.
     
  4. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    girlfriend it is useless trying to get your sister to look at him in another light. it just wont happen. to her he gold to you he dodo. but you cant make her see that sh*t stanks. before long eventually she'll wake up and smell what he all about. when your in love that emotions is powerful. like al green say love will make you do right love will make you do wrong love will make you come home early. we cant help who we fall in love with. the more you chastise her or make her see the light. the more he has here under his control. try to accept him when he's around. its bad enough she has to hear how your family don't like him. give it time girl. they always find there way back home. and when the day she knocks on your door be ready to welcome her with open arms. silence will get you along way. listen at me sounding like dear abby. i need to be posting about my sorry friend. tata for now.
     
  5. Nisa

    Nisa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That's evident..just let her bump her head..
     
  6. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Victoria ... what is your culture? What color are you (your sister), and what color is he?

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  7. soulsearcher

    soulsearcher Banned MEMBER

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    True... this might help clear up some of the difficulties if it could be traced to cultural miscommunication.
     
  8. soulsearcher

    soulsearcher Banned MEMBER

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    In general I would have to agree with most of the board... you're just going to have to let your sister do her thing.
     
  9. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    He is italian and it runs in the family to be rude, prejudice and obnoxious.
    He wouldn't come to my mothers house and be rude.. He needs the riot act read to him like me and my brothers read to all my sisters boyfriends.:flame:

    I have five sisters and they have never been slapped around or beat up by their boyfriends. No one disrepects my mothers house.. #one rule.

    One messed up and stole christmas presents from my sisters car that belonged to one of my brothers. That day he was hunted down and thrashed.

    Your sister is infatuated with him. He knows family is everything and very important.

    He is pretending that yours isn't important to him.. but would be ready to cut anybody that was rude to his mother. Your sister needs to recognize that her family is important and that she shouldn't cut you all off. You were there all this time and she will need you when she is out and he has a new Diane.

    She needs to seriously wake up and dump this guy.

    Don't wait or give up.. until she gets hurt by this bruiser. :uzi:
     
  10. Dual Karnayn

    Dual Karnayn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That's latin culture for ya....

    The lighter is always considered better.

    As a Dominican girl she'd probably thinks it's an honor just to be with an Italian man.

    In Latin culture "lighter" and "whiter" is almost always seen as better.

    But I'm not suprised.

    From what I've observed many Dominican, Puerto Rican, Ethiopian, and Somali women are so inlove with and infactuated with Italian men they will tolerate almost anything just to have the "honor" of hanging off the hairy arm of one of them.

    I makes them feel "less Black" in a way.

    Especially when he tells her that she's not like the "other" of her people.
     
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