Black Relationships : Brothers, What to you makes a Sister unattractive?

[Omowale Jabali]

I can add something else to this list (if it has been said before forgive me), and I'm sure every brother here knows this scenerio: You are walking down the street minding your own business. Then you notice a sister walking in the opposite direction. As soon as the two of you get withing speaking range, the woman sudden looks to the side or turns her head down (staring at nothing), in an obvious attempt to avoiding having to greet you. This is incredibly insulting, and sisters do it constantly! When did greeting each other become a crime? Why doesn't every person deserve the courtesy of a hello (whether you are interested in them or not)? This behavior is both unattractive & extremely rude!

One thing I have found in Texas so far is that Black women here do this more than in Los Angeles...and this is surprising...I never thought I would find a place worse than LA....On the other hand...the white women are too friendly...

 

[Dual Karnayn]

Smacking on gum

Hard stomachs

Spending too much time on the celly

Wearing black leather coats

Vulgar shameless speech

I don't mind a woman cussing every now and then, but using the G-D and F words are unattrative to me.

Also, finding men whom I deem to be the "wrong type" attractive will make a woman unattractive to me.
Sounds funny, but it will surely turn me off if I see you slobbering over some bum I think is a disgrace.

 

[Tantrum]

My top ten are:

1. Weaves
2. Fake nails
3. Fake eye-lashes
4. Fake breast
5. Too much make-up
6. Bad grammar
7. Loud mouth
8. Conceited, self-indulgent
9. Materialistic mindset
10. "Black Princess" attitude

There it is
That is enough for me too

 

[Queenie]

The scenerio I described (most black women turning their heads to avoid speaking/making eye contact with men who they aren't attracted to), made me realize something else: Many sisters complain about brothers making unwelcome/uninvited passes at them whenever they are friendly. Thus in an effect to avoid an unwelcomed pass, they literally ignore men unless they find them attractive. Similarly, as I stated most brothers are not used to women being friendly towards them unless they (the woman) are interested. Thus when a woman is friendly, they take it as an invitation to flirt.

To me this is an indication of a community that does not love itself! It also highlights the danger of such behavior, and how it leads to miscommunication & misinterpretation. If black men and women greeted each other on a consistent & daily basis. They would know the difference between flirting and courtesy! Because we have gotten so used to ignoring each other, and not having the decency to acknowledge our brothers/sisters. What is simply common courtesy, is mistaken to be something more! Man....we have a lot of work to do!

No woman should be taught to ignore or turn her head so that she doesn't have to acknowledge a man in the street. Similarly no man should be taught to ignore or not greet a lady in the street. Unfortunately I can't control what other people do, but I have both a daughter and son. Both are going to be taught to greet each and everyone they see. They are going to be taught to love their community. How can one profess to love their community & people, when they can't even say hello to one when they see them in the street?

I have found this thread to be very interesting and full of very good feedback that sisters need to pay close attention to if they care how brothers feel about what they do to themselves and how they behave.

Brother Pan, I especially appreciate your sentiments and can honestly say that this is a phenomenon that doesn't happen to Black men only. Ever since I moved to the north from the south, this has been the predominate experience I've encountered with Black women.

I was raised during a time when children were taught and were expected to speak and be courteous. Good morning....please....thank you...were not to be compromised by shifting eyes to the ground as you approached someone on the street or passed someone's house while they sat on the front porch.

When I moved to the north, I was shocked that mostly sisters didn't speak to each other. I would be walking along approaching a sister, try to make eye contact so I could speak and they would look away and walk right on past. I could never understand why they did that and my feelings would be hurt.

One day I stopped one in her tracks when it became obvious she was not going to speak. She was a younger sister, so I asked, "Why didn't you want to speak to me?" She replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, I was thinking about something." Well, that could have been true, but I felt she was lying and because I was bold enough to raise it with her, she had to say something other than the truth.

I also have noticed that many of my sisters, when they are alone, don't smile. It's as though her face would literally crack if the corners of her mouth tilted upwards. But if she's with her girlfriends, she's chattering away, laughing loud and talking loud.

I think sisters can learn a great deal from our brothers if we could only get past whatever it is that stalls our ability to communicate in a respectful and harmonious way.

Thanks for the good read!

Queenie

 

[spicybrown]

"Quote:
Originally Posted by panafrica
I can add something else to this list (if it has been said before forgive me), and I'm sure every brother here knows this scenerio: You are walking down the street minding your own business. Then you notice a sister walking in the opposite direction. As soon as the two of you get withing speaking range, the woman sudden looks to the side or turns her head down (staring at nothing), in an obvious attempt to avoiding having to greet you. This is incredibly insulting, and sisters do it constantly! When did greeting each other become a crime? Why doesn't every person deserve the courtesy of a hello (whether you are interested in them or not)? This behavior is both unattractive & extremely rude!"

Maybe her pimp...I mean her man is watching her every move?!?!