Black Relationships : Why are some women blind when it comes to men

[sunny01]

Spare Me SWT T

I decided not to wait for your reply but to speak my mind. It honestly angers me when women always say what another woman should do when that woman herself hasn't ever been in that same situation. Carmal, I see this all the time everyday. My goddaughter, I love her to dath, was born from a relationship such as this. I , myself , have been through drama with relationships.
You cannot speak on things that you don't know much about, I don't know if you have ever been in a situation like that but I have. You say that you are in a great relationship and thats great but it sounds like you have no idea about the subject that you are so eager to preach to women about

Carmal is stating the truth. Women especially black women allow this nonsense to go on, and then want to have this stupid look on their face when it hits the fan. As far as "speaking" about something we've never experienced, have you ever thought that WE DON'T WANT TO?!! We refuse to put up with that, that's why we're who we are!!! I don't think myself or Carmal ever want to be in this situation maybe because we're more eager to demand respect and love ourselves first!! When you have you together the right person will come along. It's a patience game, and it seems that no one has any left. They have to have a man so bad that they're willing to accept anything! It's attitudes like yours, and your dismissive mentality that make it "okay," for these women to not stand up for themselves and demand respect from these loose men. Maybe if we can get our minds right and stop putting up with drama then maybe these men wouldn't be so EAGER to give it to us. As far as children are concerned they are a blessing that get caught up in this mirage of a relationship that really isn't a relationship to begin with. Love hurts more when you don't love yourself and that men you want so bad doesn't LOVE YOU and Probably Never will. BOO HOO!!! Women need to get their heads right because it's 2005 and every opportunity is available to them regardless of their SES!! Stop being IGNORANT AND A DOORMAT, after all "WOMEN CHOOSE MEN, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!! For goodness sakes we have children, we can endure alot, with that being said it's obvious that God gave us tools to be strong. The question is when are we going to stop being STUPID!!

 

[jamesfrmphilly]

after all "WOMEN CHOOSE MEN, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!!

young women really need to choose as though their life depended on it, because it does.

 

[carmal23]

Thanks sunny it seems you are the only one that isn't making excuses forthese women. Everyone has a choice, someone said early about its b/c men say the right things so that's why women get caught up. HELLO it's called game! I mean if you keep sleeping with a man who is just using you for sex and you get emotional attached and hurt b/c he doesn't want a relationship with you,whose to blame? I'm not saying men are right for doing this but you have a choice and if that's what you want is committment then find someone that wants the same thing. What I'm saying is that I can't feel sorry for these women because the signs are there they just choose to ignore them. Same goes for those who stay with a cheating man and keep having kids when its obvious that he probably won't change.

 

[HODEE]

Welcome to Destee Carmal23

Pleasure Principle is more than Janet Jackson's song. It is a valid word in the dictionary, and a valid action carried out over and over in human lives.

We have been caught up in the instant pleasure and immediate gratification principle. Fast food, fast cars, fast people, fast lives, fast world. When I say fast people, I mean those who are wild enough to try anything once. They have a mentality that allows them to move thru situations. We are surrounded by sex. We are saturated with sexual movies, films, video, and a desire to share something. That something is sex because it is an immediate connection to another and an attachment.

Should we be focusing on controlling our desires more than what those desires make us do?

Is the desire to share your sexual prowress stronger than your desire to share your mental and spiritual will?

Showing someone your skills has been reduced to a sexual thing. Showing someone how lovable you are has been also. That may be why it hurts when it is overlooked. Dismissed, and taken for granted. But the initiator and participate should have known that going in. In many cases it is one or the other that has this in focus, and the other may at first agree. But one does have the right to change their mind. So then you see the Drama.

Getting free of a bad relationship is hard, emotions like a drug habit is strong. If love in a relationship has an ember of hope. Or desire for another is strong enough to confuse the thinking then the situation doesn’t change.

Animal magnetism. Mammal magnetism, ( attraction ) can we condemn what is natural?

Men have been trying for ever to control the population. Of men. Of birds, of all living things. During the 1800’s it was predicted that we would reach a population of 100 million. By the year 2005. We have achieved only half our growth, and by design.

Why haven’t we done so, if the rate we were growing clearly showed this? Blacks haven’t always been this callous about relationships. We feel into the workings of this society. During the sixty’s welfare was introduced to break up families. Men were chased from homes so that the family could receive help from the government. It was a well created plan. To control growth, family planning and birth control was introduced. Other means to deny us true relations and to destroy those we had as a people were attacked and destroyed as well. If the relationship became established again, what would keep us from loosing sight of that again? Would it be quick gratification?

When someone warms the heart it is hard to separate the mind.

Haven’t the attraction been reduced to looks, ( tight abs, tight body, firm derriere, breast ) now rather than a kiss, or the deed it’s self? It has also moved into deeds like conquering another, taking another’s mate and just using what is free and available at the time to reach that pleasure principle.

I put all this out, but my thoughts on this haven’t diminished or run out of questions.

 

[jamesfrmphilly]

women get horny, just like men.
women want to bust a nut, just like men.

the problem is that as soon as a woman feels this way, she thinks she's in love.
she thinks that a "good" woman doesn't want to bust her nut so there fore in order to do the deed she has to fall in love.

that's where the trouble starts.