Black Relationships : Why are some women blind when it comes to men

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by carmal23, Mar 5, 2005.

  1. carmal23

    carmal23 Member MEMBER

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    This subject disturbs me and I hear about these subjects all the time from my friends and family members that go through these things. Thankfully I am in a wonderful relationship but it still bothers me. At a certain age ladies you should know when a man cares about you or wants a relationship. Why do grown women still get emotionally attached to men they are just having sex with? Okay I could see if you were 16,17,or maybe still 18. If he's just calling at night to come over and doesn't take you in public he's not interested. It doesn't take a scientist to figure this one out. I guess you women think if he keeps inviting you over than he likes you, no you are just free booty that doesn't respect yourself. At least a prostitute gets paid for it. And then when you see him out with another woman,you want to act all ignorant like he was your man. A relationship is more than just sex! Sistas please wake up and for those who keep getting pregnant by the same man who is still cheating on you and hasn't married you yet. Hello most likely he isn't going to change. Why you ask because of an old saying a man will only do what a woman allows him to do. If you keep taking him back time after time why should he change. Stand up,respect and want more for yourself.
     
  2. SwtT

    SwtT Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Carmal, it has a lot to do with the game that a man is spitting and him more than likely being the best a woman has had in bed. Have you ever been through a relationship like the ones that you are telling women to get themselves out of?
     
  3. SwtT

    SwtT Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I decided not to wait for your reply but to speak my mind. It honestly angers me when women always say what another woman should do when that woman herself hasn't ever been in that same situation. Carmal, I see this all the time everyday. My goddaughter, I love her to dath, was born from a relationship such as this. I , myself , have been through drama with relationships.
    You cannot speak on things that you don't know much about, I don't know if you have ever been in a situation like that but I have. You say that you are in a great relationship and thats great but it sounds like you have no idea about the subject that you are so eager to preach to women about
     
  4. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    i think men can compartmentalize and women can not.
    this is due to the difference in the way we are socialized.

    as a man, i can easily say: "that was a real fine piece you gave me, now let me call you a cab".
    i'll have a glass of water and a hot shower and forget about it.

    women are trained that there most always be "more".
    they have to get all romantic.
    they can't just have sex, they must make love.
    they put a whole lot of emotion on what may be no more than a good lay.

    some times a good lay is just a good lay.
    no more.

    i don't think women can look at it like that.
    if it feels good to them, they must take it farther.
    women are very vulnerable emotionally and easy to exploit.

    i chose not to now, but in my younger days i did my share of dirt and it was quite easy.
    i always knew that if i rocked her world three times she was all mine.
    square girls were easy to turn out because they had never been done right before.
    square brothers were not laying nothing down and could always be beat.

    it was easy.
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    good points made here throughout , not only women but men too
    get caught in the mist of friendship & love we all at some point
    will get lost in the moment of rapture but women most likely can
    move away faster then a man can , those women who do get deep
    is feeling something they never felt we all can say easy what can be
    done yet it seem to be a bit harder but ladies should know the differents
     
  6. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sex in a relationship can bring out emotional reactions that may be premature. Just another reason to wait longer to get physical. Then again, you have some folks who just don't want to commit, even after you have given the relationship some time to grow before you were intimate. With some men I guess all the signs are there, then there are others that say all the right things, then want nothing to do with you after the deed is done. Some relationships are complicated.
     
  7. Nita

    Nita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well

    we all have to lQQK at why some women chose to be in relationships like this. We can down these women for allowing such things to happen all day long, but until we realize why these women chose to be in relationships like this, then this issue can be addressed properly. What little girl you know has dreams of having a broken home and dreams of being in a relationship where she is abused and misused. I believe the majority of us want to have healthy relationships. The truth is, these men who are using women are just as much at fault as the women you described. It's not fair to say women wake up, but men need to wake up as well. If all men would be the true men they were placed here to be, no woman on this earth would be abused or used by any man.....

    So why are some men using women?

    Maybe there was no father figure in the home to show him how a man should treat a woman.
    Maybe there was a father figure in the home that constantly mistreated women.
    Maybe his mother was a woman that mistreated men or maybe even worse she resented him because his father left or for whatever reason.

    Those type of issues and dozens of others need to be addresses on the males part.


    As for women, why then do they stay in unhealthy relationships?

    Maybe her father or another male figure mistreated her mom.
    Maybe there were men in her mothers life that were in and out constantly.
    Maybe she grew up in an enviornment where no one was ever there for her until they wanted something...
    ....and the the list goes on.

    I think the thing you're not seeing is that it's really a mental thing. Not saying that these women are crazy, but this is what they were taught and that's what they learned and that's ALL they know....the same goes for men.

    With all the broken fatherless and motherless homes today this problem will probably get worse.
     
  8. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    Yep. There's always two sides to every story.
     
  9. Nita

    Nita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Exactly...

    and if you've seen and been taught the wrong things all your life...you have no idea that what you're doing is wrong because that's all you know. Alot of times we want to blame the person but it goes much deeper than that.
     
  10. sunny01

    sunny01 Active Member MEMBER

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    Spare Me SWT T

    Carmal is stating the truth. Women especially black women allow this nonsense to go on, and then want to have this stupid look on their face when it hits the fan. I don't think myself or Carmal ever want to be in this situation maybe because we're more eager to demand respect because our mother's were strong, and taught us to respect and love ourelves first!! It's attitudes like yours, and your dismissive mentality that make it "okay," for these women to not stand up for themselves and demand respect from these loose men. Maybe if we can get our minds right and stop putting up with drama then maybe than maybe these men wouldn't be so EAGER to give it to us. As far as children our concerned they are a blessing that get caught up in this mirage of a relationship that really isn't. Women need to get their heads right because it's 2005 and every opportunity isavailable to them regardless of their SES!! Stop being IGNORANT, after all "WOMEN CHOOSE MEN, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!! For goodness sakes we have children, we can endure alot, with that being said it's obvious that God gave us tools to be strong. The question is when are we going to stop being STUPID!! :skillet:
     
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