Black Women : Is it all about the "bling bling"?

[Queenie]

Is money the root of all evil? Can a person actually "love" money more than they love another human being?

Can money change a person or just their lifestyle?

How and what are Black people in America, especially our youth, learning about the value of money?

Would you rather have your money invested or the cash?

Even if you had the money to give, would you expect your child to work to earn their money or would you rather give them money to spend without expecting them to do anything to earn it?

Do you think it's important to purchase from a Black-owned business?

Are Black men intimidated if their girlfriend/wife earns a higher salary than his?

Do Black women only want a man that has a car, house and lots of money?

Could our HBCU's benefit from our financial assistance?

These questions were inspired by a conversation in another forum and I'm curious about what people think. Black people spend a lot of money as consumers in this country and a great majority of it leaves our communities within minutes of us receiving it in the form of salaries or whatever other sources of income we receive.

Companies are targeting our communities to get us to spend this valuable resource (money) as fast as we get our hands on it and these products aren't cheap! Just looking at all the "labels" our youth wear, how much would you estimate is the total value of the outfit they are wearing? If we held on to our money longer and spent more of it within our communities, some of the problems we experience in our communities may be nonexistent.

What do you think?

 

[A007]

Great questions

Queen much respect.

I hate to start out on a controversial not but..oh well. NO money is not the root of all evil...ARE YALL READY FOR THIS?? LOVE is. Not just the love of money. The love of power, the love of a person, the love of sex, the love of things, the love of approval and anything else a person can love. We have to learn to control our emotions and quit letting them control us.

Money can change both a person and their lifestyle. Of course the lifestyle comes first. But eventually, people whom are not well grounded, and balanced begin to think that money entitles them to priveledges that others are not entitiled to. What they dont understand is that the money if the money is the only thing that sets them apart then they were nothing without it..so God help them if they should lose it.

Unfortuneatly most of our youth our learning about money from what they see on the Idiot Box(T.V.) Videos, movies, exposes on houses and cars. Al they see is bling bling. They and many of us adults have learned the VALUE of money. Money is simply tool to make life comfortable. I should be used to make life comfortable for all whom one cares about. Using it to excess diminishes its value greatly. We should learn to save, invest, and HELP. Not simply consume so others can see what we have and THINK we are doing well.

I expect my son to work for money he gets. He will have to work for it in the world he may as well learn to do it at an early age. I also teach him to save half of every dollar he gets. Its important to know what to do with money as much as how to earn it.

Of course its important to buy from black-owned business but business owners need to run a good business. They should expect to be patronized if they are going to provide inferior products or service.

I would not be intimidated by a woman making more than me. Then she could take me shopping

I dont want to get too deep into what women are looking for in men, but as it stands now...it is the FIRST thing women expect from a man that they would like to get serious about. I mean how many of you women would talk to a brotha who was working at McDonals??

We need to educate ourselves better about money and its real value...outside of the formal education system. Then we can educate our children.

 

[Anana]

007 -

"...I dont want to get too deep into what women are looking for in men, but as it stands now...it is the FIRST thing women expect from a man that they would like to get serious about. I mean how many of you women would talk to a brotha who was working at McDonals??..."

I am a woman who, if I do make more money, would want to know that the man is able to take care of me and our responsibilities if he had to rely soley on his money. An accident or health problems may affect the amount of money I'm bringing in or cut it off completely for a while or permanently. Of course, I am talking about a marriage. So for me, I wouldn't look down on a man working at McDonald's. But I'll think 'what if I need him to step it up'. I wouldn't want that on me. I don't want to be calling around trying to borrow money. Or, trying to keep working as much as I can to help out knowing I need to have myself at home with this bad back.

If a brotha is working at McDonalds and sees someone who he wants to be his queen. Then he might want to ask himself that question. Can I take care of her? When the children come, will I be able to take care of her AND the children? If he can do it at McDonalds, then okay then.

I know that you maybe using McDonald's as an eample, but it could be any job where a man is making less money. The type of job, the security of it, the benefits and type will be important to me as well as mine should be for him. We are trying to build a relationship with what we both bring to the table and hopefully we'll jump the broom after all is said & done. If so, it will give me a peace of mine and make me feel secure with him.

Just talking with no intention of him being my king & I his queen, just platonic friends then it wouldn't matter. We're friends and his money is none of my business.

Anyway, that's how I look at it for myself.

I'll be back with thoughts on the other issues.

 

[Queenie]

DRE!!!!!!!!

You had me crackin' up with that opening statement man!! *lol* I have a quick minute then I have to run, but I will be back later to fill in the details of what I'm about to write. I just had to comment first on this...

You wrote:

"I hate to start out on a controversial not but..oh well. NO money is not the root of all evil...ARE YALL READY FOR THIS?? LOVE is. Not just the love of money. The love of power, the love of a person, the love of sex, the love of things, the love of approval and anything else a person can love. We have to learn to control our emotions and quit letting them control us."

Dre...you have me pulling my hair out on that one, man!!! *lol* This is how I would word that....The love of THINGS is the root of all evil, not the love of people. The LUST for or the obsession with people, maybe, but not the love!

I think our primary purpose in this world is to love ourselves and each other. Love of people is a many splendored thing! Love makes the world go round! Where is the love? Isn't that what we've been saying here recently? Sure it has. It's only when we get it twisted and start to love THINGS that we have lost sight of what it is we're supposed to be loving and begin the fast slide down that long slippery slope.

lol@hate to start out on a controversial note, but oh well. And you know what else I think, there are times when I don't think there's anything wrong with letting our emotions move us because sometimes they can get us to do things that are courageous and loving. Discipline is good, true! But part of the reason we were given these emotions were to let them guide us along a path of truth and openness.

Whatcha think?

 

[A007]

Anana so should we feel the same way when we are looking for our queens? "if I do make more money, I would want to know that the 'wo'man is able to take care of me and our responsibilities if (s)he had to rely soley on his/her money. An accident or health problems may affect the amount of money I'm bringing in or cut it off completely for a while or permanently."

I made a few changes to your statement to project as if we as men thought the same way how obsurd it would sound. Some women want it both ways. (i don't know if you do or not Anana) But, they want to be equal..the relationship to be a 50/50 partnership..but I know very few women who are willing to support a man when he is unemployed or just has a job that doesn't offer very much. Yet, it is almost a given that it is our job as men to 'take care' of a woman if she does not work or has a low paying/part time job. Now for me it is fine for women and society to think that way. However, there will be no 50/50 partnership is the burden of keeping the family supported falls squarely on my shoulders. 51/49 maybe. The problem is that many women are not willing to concede that 2 percent(or higher) shift in control but want to be 'taken care of' non-the-less.

I propose that many women that are screaming there aren't any good men(or very few) overlook less afluent men because they themselves aren't willing to take on the responsiblity of 'taking care of man/family' If it is a womans choice to systematically disqualify half of the elegible 'good' men based on their income, their shouldn't be complaints of the number (or lack thereof) of good men their are.

Queen--

I am glad I could make you smile . I ask only this is it obsession or lust that makes a person shoot someone because they slept with their spouse?? I agree with letting our emotions 'guide' us. But there is a difference between being guided by emotions and being driven by them like many of us are.

peace Dre'