Horrible! Skin bleaching website!

[SAMURAI36]

Having lighter skin as a female is DEFINITELYan asset when dealing with MANY Black men and many other men of color. It simply gives the lighter woman many more options than darker females if all other things are just about equal. This is something a lot of Black folks just can't or won't openly admit. You may consider light skin on a female a liability, but IMO you're in the minority of Black males. On the other hand, many women of all races and groups prefer darker males.

I agree.

Regarding white people asserting themselves as a deity, it doesn't matter to me whether someone asserts themselves as my deity, but it does matters to me whether I believe it or not. I CAN control the latter with my mind. I got EGO, Brotha. LOL!!! Black people don't have to believe in white superiority, or that whites have all the power.

I agree with this as well. But as you stated above about me, you are one Black person that is in the minority, with regards to how you've absorbed white superiority. As am I.

For many of us these days, that's a choice and another type of whining. I think many Blacks WANT to believe it because it provides an excuse for stalling, for not coming together, for not committing to solve problems, for not excelling.

Very true.

Many, not all, Black women who are trying to reduce their butt size do it because it's difficult, even more expensive, to find clothes to fit if your body does not match the measurements used in the fashion industry. For ex. if you have a size 36 bust and size hips, it's virtually impossible in certain stylish clothing lines to find a dress or suit that you can get into that will drape properly.

Only because the clothes that we wear in the West, are oftentimes not made by or for Black people.

Some Black women try to reduce their butts or keep them hidden because they don't like the cat-calls from men on the street. They simply don't want their butts to be the object of leering men.

That's the misconception, though; men are going to leer, regardless of your "big booty". Men just like to look at women, period.

Should chop off their breasts, simply because men look at them? I've seen women try to cover their chests up as they walk by the presence of a man/men.

This is an oxy-moron; the very thing(s) that makes you beautiful to us, are the very things you wish to get rid of.

We say what we like, and you conceal or get rid of it; we say what we don't like, and you try to enhance that even more.

How can we win?

Granted there are some Black women who do want to have more of a white woman's stereotypical body, though many of them don't even have that.

They want various aspects of the the White woman, not just her body. Long, stringy (and often BLONDE) hair, blue/green contacts, etc. There's more to looking like a white woman, than just having a flat butt.

As far as Black women finding and using their power, I don't think many Black men are going to like that. I see everyday what happens now when African women try to assert themselves. The majority of African men can't take it. If and when Black women really start doing this worldwide, many Black men are going to be left in the dust.

I agree, but it's just as you stated just a moment ago:

For many of us these days, that's a choice and another type of whining. I think many Blacks WANT to believe it because it provides an excuse for stalling, for not coming together, for not committing to solve problems, for not excelling.

Consider how Africa has been changed in the past 500 years, and by whom. Consider what religion many Nigerians that you mentioned previously are. What educational system they are taught.

That's why it's not as easy to ignore the White Deity. For many of us, it's engrained, and not so much a choice.

But that's why I as one Black man in particular am always calling for Black women's empowerment; I do not intend to be left in the dust. In fact, I plan to reap the benefits right along with you.

I know where we as a people came from, and where we have the potential to go.

IMO, you need to stop always trying to see a Sista's behavior in a negative light.

Why did this discussion need to turn into a critique of my perspective? I could do the very same for you......

IMO, you need to learn to find validity in the things that certain people say, even if you do not necessarily agree.

If I had such a negative view of what Black women do and say, how then could I have agreed with you uncontestingly several times in this thread alone?

There could be very valid reasons why she does what she does.

Perhaps, but that does not mean that the results of those actions are always the best for all parties involved.

Black people are not friendly to me either most of the time. That doesn't bother me because I believe that if I needed something from them, most of them would do their best to help me. That has been my experience. On the other hand, whites are often friendly, but I know that's usually fake.

I commented on this statement when you reiterated it in that other thread. I won't do it here, not only because I've already done it, but also because it's more relevant in context there than it is here.

PEACE

 

[Riada]

I agree.



I agree with this as well. But as you stated above about me, you are one Black person that is in the minority, with regards to how you've absorbed white superiority. As am I.



Very true.



Only because the clothes that we wear in the West, are oftentimes not made by or for Black people.



That's the misconception, though; men are going to leer, regardless of your "big booty". Men just like to look at women, period.

Should chop off their breasts, simply because men look at them? I've seen women try to cover their chests up as they walk by the presence of a man/men.

This is an oxy-moron; the very thing(s) that makes you beautiful to us, are the very things you wish to get rid of.

We say what we like, and you conceal or get rid of it; we say what we don't like, and you try to enhance that even more.

How can we win?



They want various aspects of the the White woman, not just her body. Long, stringy (and often BLONDE) hair, blue/green contacts, etc. There's more to looking like a white woman, than just having a flat butt.



I agree, but it's just as you stated just a moment ago:



Consider how Africa has been changed in the past 500 years, and by whom. Consider what religion many Nigerians that you mentioned previously are. What educational system they are taught.

That's why it's not as easy to ignore the White Deity. For many of us, it's engrained, and not so much a choice.

But that's why I as one Black man in particular am always calling for Black women's empowerment; I do not intend to be left in the dust. In fact, I plan to reap the benefits right along with you.

I know where we as a people came from, and where we have the potential to go.




Why did this discussion need to turn into a critique of my perspective? I could do the very same for you......

IMO, you need to learn to find validity in the things that certain people say, even if you do not necessarily agree.


Perhaps, but that does not mean that the results of those actions are always the best for all parties involved.

PEACE

Bro. Samurai, I think that when you find the right woman, you'll be fine. I think you're just hyper now because you haven't found her yet.

Regarding women wanting to get rid of their breasts and butts, I don't think that's it, but can you imagine how you'd feel if everywhere you went women were twisting their necks to look down at your groin while grinning lewdly, or bending down trying to see the imprint of your penis, and making all sort of unintelligible sounds, loud cat-calls, and saying stuff like, "yum-yum, oooowweeeee! I wish I could get some of dat," and other lewd comments. If this went on just about everyday, I don't believe that you'd welcome it.

I acknowledge what's valid for me. I'm not going to pretend I understand what you're talking about and validate it if I can't relate to it. That would be false and that's not me.

You might be rooting for Black womens' empowerment, but many Black men can't handle Black women having more education, status, professional jobs and making more money than them NOW. Many Black men don't seem to value education the way women do or strive to be in professional jobs or make a lot of money the way Black women do, for reasons that are cited on this site.

It's disastrous for many BM-BF relationships NOW because money=power in today's world. If she is making as much money or more money, she is not going to kowtow to a man the way her grandmother kowtowed to her grandfather. If the man gets on her nerves too much, she will just leave or push him out of her life and get the type of man who can accept the "empowered" her. That man may be from another group because an empowered Black woman will choose who she wants to be with, no matter where he comes from and no matter who likes it or doesn't like it. Her grandmother couldn't afford to do that.

This is why historically, in most societies, men made sure they made more money and prevented women from getting formal education and tried to keep them at home and away from other men. I'm sure you realize this was the only way they could control women. You say you want an empowered Black woman, but for most men, hordes of empowered Black woman will be a force that very few of today's men will be able to reckon with.

 

[SAMURAI36]

Bro. Samurai, I think that when you find the right woman, you'll be fine. I think you're just hyper now because you haven't found her yet.

And here, you continue to underestimate me. Would you mind not doing that? There is more to me, my ideas, and my life as a whole, than whether or not I have a woman. In fact, the totality of my posts on this entire site are not even about that.

I'm inviting you to take the time to actually get to know me as a person, instead of reducing me to the 2 or 3 topics in which you have ONLY engaged me.

I'd like to do the same for you.

Regarding women wanting to get rid of their breasts and butts, I don't think that's it, but can you imagine how you'd feel if everywhere you went women were twisting their necks to look down at your groin while grinning lewdly, or bending down trying to see the imprint of your penis, and making all sort of unintelligible sounds, loud cat-calls, and saying stuff like, "yum-yum, oooowweeeee! I wish I could get some of dat," and other lewd comments. If this went on just about everyday, I don't believe that you'd welcome it.

Being that this has not happened to me (not on a daily basis, as you've said), I can't speak for or against it.

However, my first instinct is to not really mind it at all. But perhaps I'm just biased.

I have a question for you though: would you as a woman, but just as happy with yourself and your body, if NOBODY ever looked at you?

I acknowledge what's valid for me. I'm not going to pretend I understand what you're talking about and validate it if I can't relate to it. That would be false and that's not me.

Just because it's not valid for you, doesn't mean that it's not valid.

The hypocrisy of your statement, lies in the fact that you are asking me to do this for you as a woman--why you all do some of the things that you do.

None of these things are valid for me, yet you persist.

Why? Isn't that tantamount to asking me to be "false"?

What is being asked of you, is to step outside of yourself and your immediate exsistence, and see things from the perspective of how others see them.

This is the very crux of why I strive to discuss these topics with other people.

You might be rooting for Black womens' empowerment, but many Black men can't handle Black women having more education, status, professional jobs and making more money than them NOW. Many Black men don't seem to value education the way women do or strive to be in professional jobs or make a lot of money the way Black women do, for reasons that are cited on this site.

Not only are you preaching to the choir here, you are also just reiterating what I've already said, almost exactly how I've said it.

It's disastrous for many BM-BF relationships NOW because money=power in today's world. If she is making as much money or more money, she is not going to kowtow to a man the way her grandmother kowtowed to her grandfather. If the man gets on her nerves too much, she will just leave or push him out of her life and get the type of man who can accept the "empowered" her. That man may be from another group because an empowered Black woman will choose who she wants to be with, no matter where he comes from and no matter who likes it or doesn't like it. Her grandmother couldn't afford to do that.

I agree. However, with such an empowerment, comes a responsibility.

And just like teenagers with a driver's permit, many women, whom at this point in their socio-economic development are not prepared to handle this newfound responsiblity.

Having the right to choose, is not the same as being able to make good choices.

This is why historically, in most societies, men made sure they made more money and prevented women from getting formal education and tried to keep them at home and away from other men. I'm sure you realize this was the only way they could control women.

Yes, it's called PATRIARCHY. That's why I strive to steer clear from Greco-Roman, Judeo-Christian thought, because it's totally oppressive on all levels.

You say you want an empowered Black woman, but for most men, hordes of empowered Black woman will be a force that very few of today's men will be able to reckon with.

You're repeating yourself, Riada. I heard you the first time, when you said this, 4 quotes before.

The problem that you are attempting to address, is the fact that men are no less prepared for this paradoxical shift, than women are.

The proof of this, lies in what CHRIS ROCK said in his latest stand-up: when the man makes more money, then the woman complains that her independence and ability to make decisions is not respected. When the woman makes more money, she complains that she does not want to make all the decisions by herself, and wants the "man to be the man" (whatever that means).

So which one is it?

I can tell you what it is NOT: it is NOT someone with a level of socio-economic maturity in development.

I agree with you, that Black women can and will re-assert themselves as the powerhouse in the world, but just as with various other aspects of humanity, she has a long way to go before she does, and she could very well destroy herself, taking others with her in the process, as long as her development remains un/misguided.

PEACE

 

[Riada]

And here, you continue to underestimate me. Would you mind not doing that? There is more to me, my ideas, and my life as a whole, than whether or not I have a woman. In fact, the totality of my posts on this entire site are not even about that.

I'm inviting you to take the time to actually get to know me as a person, instead of reducing me to the 2 or 3 topics in which you have ONLY engaged me.

I'd like to do the same for you.



Being that this has not happened to me (not on a daily basis, as you've said), I can't speak for or against it.

However, my first instinct is to not really mind it at all. But perhaps I'm just biased.

I have a question for you though: would you as a woman, but just as happy with yourself and your body, if NOBODY ever looked at you?



Just because it's not valid for you, doesn't mean that it's not valid.

The hypocrisy of your statement, lies in the fact that you are asking me to do this for you as a woman--why you all do some of the things that you do.

None of these things are valid for me, yet you persist.

Why? Isn't that tantamount to asking me to be "false"?

What is being asked of you, is to step outside of yourself and your immediate exsistence, and see things from the perspective of how others see them.

This is the very crux of why I strive to discuss these topics with other people.



Not only are you preaching to the choir here, you are also just reiterating what I've already said, almost exactly how I've said it.





I agree. However, with such an empowerment, comes a responsibility.

And just like teenagers with a driver's permit, many women, whom at this point in their socio-economic development are not prepared to handle this newfound responsiblity.

Having the right to choose, is not the same as being able to make good choices.



Yes, it's called PATRIARCHY. That's why I strive to steer clear from Greco-Roman, Judeo-Christian thought, because it's totally oppressive on all levels.




You're repeating yourself, Riada. I heard you the first time, when you said this, 4 quotes before.

The problem that you are attempting to address, is the fact that men are no less prepared for this paradoxical shift, than women are.

The proof of this, lies in what CHRIS ROCK said in his latest stand-up: when the man makes more money, then the woman complains that her independence and ability to make decisions is not respected. When the woman makes more money, she complains that she does not want to make all the decisions by herself, and wants the "man to be the man" (whatever that means).

So which one is it?

I can tell you what it is NOT: it is NOT someone with a level of socio-economic maturity in development.

I agree with you, that Black women can and will re-assert themselves as the powerhouse in the world, but just as with various other aspects of humanity, she has a long way to go before she does, and she could very well destroy herself, taking others with her in the process, as long as her development remains un/misguided.

PEACE

Not trying to underestimate you, Samurai. Honestly, I don't go into all of the other threads that you may post in, so the only time I read you is in the threads I visit and in most of those, the thrusts of your posts seems to be against AA women and how we are lacking, as well as your failed attempts to get a smile or a nice word from a Black woman.

I totally agree that people shouldn't be quick to judge others without taking the time to at least try to see them in their totality. But I think this is exactly what I think you've done to me. You've often quickly read things into what I say that I never even thought about, let alone said. You draw faulty conclusions and make erroneous inferences from quite a few things I say.

Re some of the points above:

No, I would NOT like it if no man ever looked at me, however I want to be looked at in a certain way, not like meat.

I'm willing to try to step outside myself (if that's possible) if you will do the same. This may be an exercise in futility but it may be interesting.

Re Black female empowerment, I think many women feel empowered to some extent, but some may hide it and only show it to other women, in my experience. Remember we live in a male-dominated world where it's not safe sometimes for a woman to show her power. For ex. I've always felt somewhat empowered, but I've always felt I had to hide it from males.

When I would slip occasionally and they saw the real me, I almost felt their discomfort or pain as they tried to rebound. Soemtimes, it's been unpleasant because the male feels threatened.

Males seem to feel they have to always be right or be better or they have to win. That puts a strain on a woman, like me, if the male is only right or better or able to win on his own 50% of the time because I used to make the effort to help him to feel right or better or help him to win maybe 90% of the time--just to keep the peace and avoid problems. This is just something I learned when I was growing up--lasting into my late teens and early twenties. Maybe other Black women do this with Black males too--that old protective thing. I don't really know for sure. It could just be me.

It seems to me that the male ego is so delicate. I mean, if the guy is a nice guy, I don't want to emasculate him, according to him, and it seems that the slightest thing will bruise his ego, so that can be very difficult when dealing with some males.

In the last 7 or 8 years, I've gravitated towards males who were smart or at least smarter, broader, more exposed, more accomplished, sometimes intellectual. I don't have that same problem with this new class of males, so I'm pickier now and it's a lot more relaxing for me. WHEW!

I'd prefer you didn't use phrases like "the hypocrisy of your statement." That puts me off and automatically puts me on the defensive.
I think it's important to be careful how you talk to people, that is if you want to get along with them. As Bro. Isaiah says: "win the person, not the point." IMO, this would be an excellent philosophy for most of us to use on this site to reduce some of the arguing.

I personally feel that men and women can relate to each other as equals and ought to strive for equality in relationships. Some people are already mature enough to do that. After all, each can do practically everything the other one can do these days, except males can't have babies, at least not yet. LOL!!!

 

[Keita Kenyatta]

This is simply a reflection of the "white domination" that has crept INTO OUR BEING...ALIENATING US FROM AN ALIEN-NATION.