Black Women : Are We Responsible

[62special]

I believe that this is why HIV is so prevalent in our community. Is this Gods way of speaking to us to look at ourselves and what we are becoming. We continue to prove ourselves with our bodies, and our music and the video content seen on TV doesn't do us justice at all. I was shocked to learn that more men in their middle 30's and up are most impressioned by this hardcore rap music than the younger gender. Hey I would like to know what do we do, there is no need to blame, we are all in this together. This war is bigger than 9/11 we are at battle...for what?,..we are at war,..for what? it's everybodies fault but our own....why? and we are dying...because before you get yours,..I'm gonna get mines,...what's going on my black brothers and sisters.

 

[Rain]

I don't think it is too let to insist that our men step up to a higher roll and i do believe that our men treat us accordingly. If we are passive when it comes to our mens behavior then they will say hum... maybe i can do this this and this you are right we have to influence our men to become stronger in there life so in turn our families will also. Heres a thought maybe we should look at what roll history has played in our men being the way they are now. Ps Black men stay strong and the true sistas will always have your back.

 

[Anana]

Hi Special -

Living a righteous/clean life is an individual choice that should (and can be) be exercised for the well being and health of that individual, relationships, familes, our community and ultimately of our society. When choices are clouded with selfishness, ignorance, greed, etc., then everyone suffer - as we are now.

It is easy to do whatever one wants and then try to escape responsibilty for those actions. But we do it. It's easier to search for someone to 'put up' with us than to work and improve ourselves. But we do it.

Some people are going to do whatever they want. They are the people that go left just because someone suggest they go right. You can't tell some people nothing. That's the way it is, but does not mean we have to resign from doing right because others will not. Maybe some will be 'won over' from the actions of others: influence.

I will piggyback on what NNQueen stated and agree that we can't wait for men to step up. Or anyone, for that matter.

I know that the thought processes of some of us include selfishness and 'getting mine'. We are at war. Not a physical war, but one of principles, ways, thoughts, differences of opinion, etc.

What do we do? As an individual I must...
1. Know what is expected of me from God, myself and others.

2. Establish personal values and be honest about them. What I
want, what matters to me, etc.

3. Live according to my values that will enhance my life and
others around me, conscious of my decisions and choices.

4. Grow from experience.

Those are some things I share with my circle of sistah friends and especially to my neices, nephews, the girls in my Sunday School class, and the girl I mentor.

I know it starts with me, the people I touch, the people they touch and maybe it will eventually touch...you.

With Much Luv -

 

[Anana]

Hi Rain -

True. Our history has been plagued with abuse, wrongs and a whole heap of pain. But evenso, we are still here and we still have each other. If we think about what kept us going in spite of all that abuse, etc. We can do the same to rise above the abuse, wrongs & whole heap of pain we are causing ourselves and each other.

 

[Queenie]

Ditto Anana...well put.

I have nothing against spoiling people that I genuinely care about. I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with doing things to show affection for the purpose of contributing to another person's happiness. But is "spoiling" someone a reward for acceptable behavior or is it something that only makes the giver feel good? Shouldn't it be both?

I know that a lot people talk about unconditional love and I support that concept for the most part but I think even that doesn't happen without some boundaries. It's good to love someone so much that you don't put conditions on the relationship or expect things in return, however, I only see this genuinely happening in positive two-way relationships where there are positive outcomes for both partners.

When a partner exhibits behavior deemed unacceptable to either the other partner, to others outside the relationship or society as a whole, is it good to continue to spoil that person?

What are women afraid will happen if they stop "spoiling" their men and expect their behavior to change for the better? What is the WORST thing that could happen?

Faith, courage and discipline. All good qualities to practice but not always easy to do.