Hi NNQueen -
Faith, courage & discipline are sometimes very hard for me to practice consistently. I know that it would have been very easy for me to accept behaviors from men (and platonic friends) I knew were not good for me because I want to be loved, liked, etc. But these people would have strained my spirit with their toxic behaviors.
Do I get involve with a man because I know he will pay my bills even though he has shown me his mean side? Do I accept broken dates time after time, and accept that 'at least he showed up'? Do I continue in a relationship with a blatant womanizer to show my family that 'I have a man'? Am I going to be with someone to keep my family from asking 'does she like men'? I had to struggle with pressures from family and friends.
I am one of those sistahs that love hard. And I too spoil. I spend time during the day thinking...'now what can I do to make him smile today'. And because I love to cook, I'm thinking 'now what can I fix him good to eat.'
So when I am loving, I give the best of me. For me, a certain type of man will either make it easy for me or difficult. And I don't want it to be a chore nor someone I have to put up with.
My sister once said that, 'you're so hard on the men. You expect so much'. But God expects the best of me, I expect a lot from myself and so, I have to expect a lot from any man who expresses interest in sharing my life.
Some realized that I wasn't playing nor stuttering & moved on. Others tried to 'bring me down a peg or two' to show me. Still others tried to 'handle me'. While others just said that 'I don't have to work that hard for 'no woman'. Did I modify my values? No. Did it hurt? My feelings were very much hurt. But I was never afraid.
Why be afraid? Yes, a man may leave. So what? You'll still have you, and a better/stronger/healthier you. Even if you have to continue this life's journey without a 'him' in your life, the trip will still be good because you are equipped to do good for yourself and others. But if 'he' shows up, doesn't leave, and gives you his best, then you will have your best to give right back and not junk left over from what someone else you allowed to dump on your spirit.
So we are responsible for what we allow to be placed on our spirit. Will people generate energy to allow and help you to become a better you, or take so much energy as to leave you depleted?
Much Luv To Ya
Faith, courage & discipline are sometimes very hard for me to practice consistently. I know that it would have been very easy for me to accept behaviors from men (and platonic friends) I knew were not good for me because I want to be loved, liked, etc. But these people would have strained my spirit with their toxic behaviors.
Do I get involve with a man because I know he will pay my bills even though he has shown me his mean side? Do I accept broken dates time after time, and accept that 'at least he showed up'? Do I continue in a relationship with a blatant womanizer to show my family that 'I have a man'? Am I going to be with someone to keep my family from asking 'does she like men'? I had to struggle with pressures from family and friends.
I am one of those sistahs that love hard. And I too spoil. I spend time during the day thinking...'now what can I do to make him smile today'. And because I love to cook, I'm thinking 'now what can I fix him good to eat.'
So when I am loving, I give the best of me. For me, a certain type of man will either make it easy for me or difficult. And I don't want it to be a chore nor someone I have to put up with.
My sister once said that, 'you're so hard on the men. You expect so much'. But God expects the best of me, I expect a lot from myself and so, I have to expect a lot from any man who expresses interest in sharing my life.
Some realized that I wasn't playing nor stuttering & moved on. Others tried to 'bring me down a peg or two' to show me. Still others tried to 'handle me'. While others just said that 'I don't have to work that hard for 'no woman'. Did I modify my values? No. Did it hurt? My feelings were very much hurt. But I was never afraid.
Why be afraid? Yes, a man may leave. So what? You'll still have you, and a better/stronger/healthier you. Even if you have to continue this life's journey without a 'him' in your life, the trip will still be good because you are equipped to do good for yourself and others. But if 'he' shows up, doesn't leave, and gives you his best, then you will have your best to give right back and not junk left over from what someone else you allowed to dump on your spirit.
So we are responsible for what we allow to be placed on our spirit. Will people generate energy to allow and help you to become a better you, or take so much energy as to leave you depleted?
Much Luv To Ya