Black Relationships : Are professional black men turned off by professional black women who are too independent?

[shaka64]

No we are not!!

 

[Liberty]

Are you sure they are silently accepting the others' arguments or are they prudently avoiding the bait that can possibly lead to another gender war thread?

No, I am not sure. You could be right. It would be nice if the brothers stood up for the sisters though. But, that's just my imagination running away with me....

 

[Liberty]

It means, "yay for us. let's celebrate professional black men not being put off by professional black women". It's a positive.

Cool!

*smile*

 

[baller]

First, SHE'S NOT A PROFESSIONAL MATE, so let's drop the professional part, for a moment, and deal with men and women. Black Men are never turned off by the success of Black Women. However, men can be turned off by women who are "in charge" at work, who then come home and try to "rule" the nest...as if they're still at work. Some of those women will claim that their man is upset because of their success, or somehow threatened, because they're professional women, when, in reality, they're upset by how they're being treated by their woman; as if he's a subordinate. That has more to do with her not knowing how to navigate her interpersonal life, than her success, or professionalism...which could come down to her not understanding her "role," or his "role," within their relationship.

Now, what is independence? For most people, independence says, "I don't need you." How is that conveyed in a relationship? 'tis a thin line you walk...and, if not walked sensitively, one could fall by the way. For example, if a woman is constantly throwing her independence up in her man's face, her man may get the impression that he's not needed, or wanted. anyone in a relationship feeling that way, man or woman, will eventually walk away from it. We all have belonging needs, where we need to feel needed, and wanted; we don't join relationships for our independence. If we cannot get that feeling of belonging from our mate, we will get it from somewhere. Relationship aren't about independence; anyone in a relationship, who feels that they're too independent for that relationship, should not be in that relationship.

those are my thoughts.

 

[Liberty]

"Are professional black men turned off by professional black women who are too independent?"


This is a loaded question with little context.

Professional black men that are interested in a relationship and eventual marriage/union with a professional black woman?

If we are discussing an eventual courtship and serious relationship that would involve cooperative living, then the criteria of "too independent" already places the question in a peculiar place of judgement.

Usually the term "too" suggests it is over the necessary values, thus it creates a negative condition of a burden or something overbearing.

I think this would be better served if one would define the context of "too independent", since it is ones' question.

I'm afraid I can't help you with that. This is the language that I heard in a different forum. It was said that some women were "too independent", and I don't know what that means either. I was hoping you guys could explain it to me.

Sorry.