Quiet Poetry Lounge : Ebony is She(Title Inspired by Virgolovin)

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by PLATINUMILLITY1, Feb 24, 2008.

  1. PLATINUMILLITY1

    PLATINUMILLITY1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ebony is She
    But hard to conceive in side her young mind
    The name withholding her beauty
    Stands on trial..on the line
    Her teachings infiltrated by a white mind
    She knows not where the truth lies

    Ebony is She
    her essence within
    is that of the Mahogany
    That of African beginning
    and a Natives blend

    Ebony is She
    Princess within
    Troubles of Ghetto life
    Taunting her skin
    That Technical definition
    is all she manages to seize and see

    Beautiful is She
    Not yet conceived in her mind
    The "Culture" of America
    Can abuse a Young Child's Mind

    Unknown to She
    Her name was given after me
    Young girl, her beauty
    It's relative lies in between

    Teachings of an Ebony Princess
    Maybe then she will see
    Our features represent Infinity
    Maybe then her conscious will be Ebony
    We are ALL meant to Represent and Be Queens
    Ebony is WE


    Peace... Bless
    And I appreciate you Virgo for Inspiring this write:)
     
  2. Desert Storm

    Desert Storm Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ebony is she

    ebony is she, spoke to me deeply. Loving this.

    Desert Storm
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    awesome love the flava of this
     
  4. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    And her ebony self, is thoroughly beautiful, both inside and out. Love this flow poetess.
     
  5. PLATINUMILLITY1

    PLATINUMILLITY1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yall Know yall make me blush

    I appreciate you and all of your gracious words!:)
    Ebony is a beautiful part of us African American Girls, Ladies and Young Women
    It is a shame that not many are taught or made to see it's TRUE beauty
    I am so happy that you felt my expression
    Peace and Many Blessings
    :10200:
    :hearts2:
     
  6. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Beautiful piece!!
     
  7. PLATINUMILLITY1

    PLATINUMILLITY1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank You Thank You Thank You Queen:hearts2:
    Much Love!:heart:
     
  8. Tha-Emissary

    Tha-Emissary Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I like these words here,

    "Maybe then she will see
    Our features represent Infinity
    Maybe then her conscious will be (Ebony)"

    I know this isn't a critique but you have a great place in your poem to climax her character. Remember at the begginning you said," Her teachings infiltrated by a white mind."

    Well I might suggest putting Ebony after "will be" Possibly to show her coming into her own color/ her own being. Nevertheless, it's perfect as it is! I just thought i'd throw in a lil somethin, somethin at the end. ;)
     
  9. PLATINUMILLITY1

    PLATINUMILLITY1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :qqb008:NOT A CRITIQUE?!!!!!!???!?!!!!!
    You NUTS??????
    Thank You Brother Emissary- See Das why you da Wiiinaa:D
    I appreciate you and giving me advice on how to enhance and heighten my peice.
    I could NEVER say "this aint a critique"(you may be the winner....but you nuts:nuts:)

    BLESS you Big Brother
    All I see is that You felt it(I appreciate you) and that You know how to bring it out

    I just might make tha change now:)
    Thank You
    BLESS:10200:



    "not a critique.....PSHHHHH" smh
     
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