Black Parenting : Dealing with out of control Teens

[skuderjaymes]

behavior has to do with environment, personality and circumstance.. unless
they are just crazy.. I don't think you can control teens.. you control children..
adolescents.. and toddlers.. if by the time the child reaches his teens you have
not developed a good amount of influence with the him/her, you are way way
behind.. and you may never be able to recover.. the younger the child the more
trusting they are.. and if you have not developed your relationship to the point
were your teenager respects you enough to behave, then you have to do some
figuring.. figure out where you are falling short in your relationship and fix it..

it happens to good people too.. a stable home is what a child needs but it's
not always possible.. parents are people too and they have issues and episodes
and challenges to overcome.. and if they have children, those children have to
negotiate every twist and turn right along with them.. so, in a way, the behavior
or your child is partly a function of the life you've lived.. almost a judgement.

A physically and mentally unhealthy child with a bad attitude is the
result of a particular experience.. he wasn't born that way.. and it's unlikely
that the folks that ushered him to where he presently is are capable of
leading him to where he needs to be.. That's where the village kicks in..​

 

[Therious]

Good point Therious. Teens are making many decisions they are not mentally nor emotionally equipped to handle.

It doesn't help that parents are getting younger and younger, and have not completed their own growth, let a alone raising another. As a parent, if one isn't operating with a mature brain which also keeps our emotional responses balanced, I can see how things would get out of control, and all of this stress passed down to the teen. In addition, teens are exposed to much more than years ago.

LOl Lord knows I made some bad ones at ages 16-19,plus kids raising kids yes a big problem. I would love to see perhaps more positive reinforcement. Example,I had a friend,a Jewish kid in school (not that him being Jewish Matters,just for descriptive purposes) who's parents paid him $100 per A he got on his report card. Needless to say he went to an Ivy league school. I always though,dammn I wish some one would pay me,I'd be getting straight A's too!