Black Parenting : Dealing with out of control Teens

"Home remedies" like talking to them, which was suggested, helps. The reason why the parents are so ready to throw them at some facility is because the parents don't know how to listen to the children (and some really don't want to) and the parents don't know how to teach the children how to discern their emotions. In comes the therapist. Listening involves more than just what the person is saying. Some people can't hear another because they may use slang that is not from there era or because they may be turned off from how they dress today. Basically in a modern society each generation is drastically different from the last because they are socialized through fads and technology compared to traditional socities.
Since the child wears skinny jeans and listens to celebrities the parent doesn't like, some just feel like the child is to 'foreign' to understand. All in all, most young people I saw that were very anger or 'out of control', their parents didn't have the will power to discipline them or help them heal.
 
"Home remedies" like talking to them, which was suggested, helps. The reason why the parents are so ready to throw them at some facility is because the parents don't know how to listen to the children (and some really don't want to) and the parents don't know how to teach the children how to discern their emotions. In comes the therapist. Listening involves more than just what the person is saying. Some people can't hear another because they may use slang that is not from there era or because they may be turned off from how they dress today. Basically in a modern society each generation is drastically different from the last because they are socialized through fads and technology compared to traditional socities.
Since the child wears skinny jeans and listens to celebrities the parent doesn't like, some just feel like the child is to 'foreign' to understand. All in all, most young people I saw that were very anger or 'out of control', their parents didn't have the will power to discipline them or help them heal.


I couldn't agree more, but what if parents doing all they can and the child/ren
not willing or listen but become more uncontrolable what is the next step ?
 
what do you mean by "treatment facilities" brother Rich?

places where they treat teens or something like a boarding house for
bad children/teens and often some are troubled by the use of drugs
whom need treatment or help beyond the parent/s .

okay thanks,I will say I think it is a double edged sword. You wouldn't want to institutionalize your own child.
 
I couldn't agree more, but what if parents doing all they can and the child/ren
not willing or listen but become more uncontrolable what is the next step ?

If the parents are doing all they can then its clear they were lacking in some non-essential skill of managing people which is what raising children is, managing people. If the child is not opening up to the parent, it could very well be the child is angry at the parent. From my personal experiences, the angry or 'out of control' young folks who's lives I was apart of, much of their messing up in life had to do with beefs with their parent(s) or the parent(s) not giving them the skills to cope with that area of life. You can only imagine the child's reaction once they find out that the parent(s) did not give them the skills to cope with that area of life, and I personally witnessed the angry reactions.

Outside help can be very effective, my only concern is that usually if the parent didn't have the will to deal with it on their own, they may very well go to outside help and delegate ALL aspects of the healing process to the therapist or whoever. Much of what is suggested by these facilities and treatment centers is excessive or will not help the child.
If Ray Ray can't concentrate in school or LaShonda is angry and verbally abusive toward her parents, I doubt putting them on 4 different anti-psychotic drugs or sending them off to a camp to do long hours of labor is SOLVING the problem. More like putting a band aid on it.
 

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