Black People : we-need-to-stop-hating-ourselves

[IFE]

One of my sisters continually refer to her grandchildren by skin shade. For example if she talking about James, she might say James, he's dark brown, did such and such. And Sheila who's light skinned think she's cute cause she's light skinned with long hair. Really. I've listened to this type of talk from her for years. Her grandchildren are older now and I was talking to her recently as she began to tell me the shade of color of each grandchild.
I started to wonder if she's saying these things to them or treating them differently according to skin shade.
She never claimed to be Black consciousness, which is why I hadn't mentioned it earlier.
This one day she's talking about her dark skin grand and light skin grand. I couldn't take it anymore. I said to her WHY ARE YOU IDENTIFYING YOUR GRANDCHILDREN BY SKIN SHADE, THATS COLORISM.
Her response was they are my grandchildren etc, etc. then she asked "what's colorism? I struggled with how to explain this to an unconscious Black woman. So I made it simple and told her it's what you're doing identifying your grands by skin shade. You've mentioned how the light skin grand receives special attention. She became angry, and said she's doesn't do that. She said she didn't want to talk about that, and she had to go do something. We hung up,
We talk often. She hasn't talked about her grandchildren since that conversation.
We have so many unconscious Blacks in our communities, who never think Black. Who never think at all. Who hate the color of their skin to the point of being shamed.

 

[IFE]

In the Spirit of Thread Consolidation,



Overcoming Self-Hate Part II
Discussion in 'Group Think Project-Group' started by phynxofkemet, Dec 11, 2008

https://destee.com/threads/overcoming-self-hate-part-ii.54787/

Can the other thread be BOT TO avoid the duplicate thread.
I have come to know that maybe a majority of Blacks have no interest in Black Think, for lack of better wording. Completely unconscious Blacks. If the revolution started today they would think they could choose a side. How do we reach them.
I read some of the post in the earlier thread and the focus seemed to be on self Black hate.
I believe it about those of us who know have a responsibility to teach. When I speak of my sister in the previous post, I'm concerned about the mental damage shes imprinting in the minds of these young children.


Locked up in the onion
Weather through the layering or imprinting, patterns lock us into old modes of behavior, and lock us into the past. We respond to a current situation from a frozen place inside as if the present IS the past.

To the emotions, to the place where the pain and memory of the experience reside, past reality IS present. The emotional self does not live in linear time in the same way that mind/spirit does. If an emotion goes unexpressed, if a painful thing is held and frozen and not allowed expression or given light and acceptance, it continues living in that painful experience. That IS its NOW. The pain of then is as real as if it really were happening right now, or happening again. And there is almost no way to convince the parts that are experiencing this reality otherwise. The only way to shift that reality is to allow the pain expression. Give the feelings acceptance and allow them to cry and tell whatever they are holding, whatever they are experiencing. Then their view of what is now, what is real, will naturally and easily shift.


The Pattern Pages - Self-Hate / Self-Destructive Patterns - CyQuest
www.cyquest.com/pathway/patterns_self_hate.html - 27k -

 

[chuck]

One of my sisters continually refer to her grandchildren by skin shade. For example if she talking about James, she might say James, he's dark brown, did such and such. And Sheila who's light skinned think she's cute cause she's light skinned with long hair. Really. I've listened to this type of talk from her for years. Her grandchildren are older now and I was talking to her recently as she began to tell me the shade of color of each grandchild.
I started to wonder if she's saying these things to them or treating them differently according to skin shade.
She never claimed to be Black consciousness, which is why I hadn't mentioned it earlier.
This one day she's talking about her dark skin grand and light skin grand. I couldn't take it anymore. I said to her WHY ARE YOU IDENTIFYING YOUR GRANDCHILDREN BY SKIN SHADE, THATS COLORISM.
Her response was they are my grandchildren etc, etc. then she asked "what's colorism? I struggled with how to explain this to an unconscious Black woman. So I made it simple and told her it's what you're doing identifying your grands by skin shade. You've mentioned how the light skin grand receives special attention. She became angry, and said she's doesn't do that. She said she didn't want to talk about that, and she had to go do something. We hung up,
We talk often. She hasn't talked about her grandchildren since that conversation.
We have so many unconscious Blacks in our communities, who never think Black. Who never think at all. Who hate the color of their skin to the point of being shamed.

Be always grateful for the good role models in your lives

Now you do have to be one too

fyi

 

[Clyde C Coger Jr]

The older thread that addressed this topic was started several years ago in the Black Teachers Lounge, Group Think Project. If I remember correctly it was started in 2008 with last post 2011. I only list those dates because the limits of self hate continues to expand.

Not quite, the last post(s), before today, were well after 2011:

https://destee.com/threads/overcoming-self-hate-part-ii.54787/page-9#post-741962

https://destee.com/threads/overcoming-self-hate-part-ii.54787/page-9#post-912432


Also, the reason for me consolidating these Threads, is that the dialog was started but never finished with a resolve.

...

 

[Clyde C Coger Jr]

...


Of course it can, which is exactly why I posted it here to begin with. Thanks for showing an interest in the older unresolved Thread. I'm a firm believer in efficiency and non-duplication of effort, myself.

I see jamesfrmphilly provided you the same link to the older Thread. But to ask posters to only post in the older Thread is nearly impossible once this new Thread was created.

If I'm not mistaken, the same link you shared below:

The Pattern Pages - Self-Hate / Self-Destructive Patterns - CyQuest
www.cyquest.com/pathway/patterns_self_hate.html - 27k -


... can be found in the older Thread, but if not, its somewhere on this site and is a very good read that I agree with.


Like any other Thread however, if folk care to post, they will post to it, and hopefully the dialog can continue.

...

Can the other thread be BOT TO avoid the duplicate thread.
I have come to know that maybe a majority of Blacks have no interest in Black Think, for lack of better wording. Completely unconscious Blacks. If the revolution started today they would think they could choose a side. How do we reach them.
I read some of the post in the earlier thread and the focus seemed to be on self Black hate.
I believe it about those of us who know have a responsibility to teach. When I speak of my sister in the previous post, I'm concerned about the mental damage shes imprinting in the minds of these young children.


Locked up in the onion
Weather through the layering or imprinting, patterns lock us into old modes of behavior, and lock us into the past. We respond to a current situation from a frozen place inside as if the present IS the past.

To the emotions, to the place where the pain and memory of the experience reside, past reality IS present. The emotional self does not live in linear time in the same way that mind/spirit does. If an emotion goes unexpressed, if a painful thing is held and frozen and not allowed expression or given light and acceptance, it continues living in that painful experience. That IS its NOW. The pain of then is as real as if it really were happening right now, or happening again. And there is almost no way to convince the parts that are experiencing this reality otherwise. The only way to shift that reality is to allow the pain expression. Give the feelings acceptance and allow them to cry and tell whatever they are holding, whatever they are experiencing. Then their view of what is now, what is real, will naturally and easily shift.


The Pattern Pages - Self-Hate / Self-Destructive Patterns - CyQuest
www.cyquest.com/pathway/patterns_self_hate.html - 27k -