Black Men : The Better Father

[Ledda]

There's always been a lot of talk about absent fathers and dead beat dads, but more and more men are stepping up to another man's responsibility and becoming fathers to children who aren't theirs biologically. I don't care for talk shows, but now and again on the one with paternity tests proving the man who thought he had a kid for two or three years discovers he's not the daddy and still says, "I don't care. I'm still the daddy." I think it takes a big man to do that. Then there are men who love the women they're with and love her kids as well. When talking negatively about black men, I hear a lot about fathers not being around, but we don't recongnize there are more and more good brothers stepping up to someone else's plate.

 

[karmashines]

There's always been a lot of talk about absent fathers and dead beat dads, but more and more men are stepping up to another man's responsibility and becoming fathers to children who aren't theirs biologically. I don't care for talk shows, but now and again on the one with paternity tests proving the man who thought he had a kid for two or three years discovers he's not the daddy and still says, "I don't care. I'm still the daddy." I think it takes a big man to do that. Then there are men who love the women they're with and love her kids as well. When talking negatively about black men, I hear a lot about fathers not being around, but we don't recongnize there are more and more good brothers stepping up to someone else's plate.

I agree. And there are A LOT of those situations featured on Maury.

It's amazing how they can still love the children and the mothers considering the kids were conceived by an affair!

 

[kente417mojo]

I agree there are many men that step up and take responsibility for another man's child. I guess that's an honerable thing to do, and these men are obviously doing it out of love. I would not advise it though. If a child is not yours, it's not you responsibility to "step up to the plate", because once that marriage ends, you'll still be stepping up to the plate until that kid is 18 years old. It's a nice thought, but there are drawbacks if things go sour. If you are stepping up after years of thinking this child was yours, then you're a fool. If you're stepping up because you're in love with a single mother and you're taking on her child (that you already know is not yours) because you love them both, then that cool. There's nothing admirable about taking care of a child that was conceived out of an affair. Nothing. That's foolishness.

 

[Ledda]

I agree there are many men that step up and take responsibility for another man's child. I guess that's an honerable thing to do, and these men are obviously doing it out of love. I would not advise it though. If a child is not yours, it's not you responsibility to "step up to the plate", because once that marriage ends, you'll still be stepping up to the plate until that kid is 18 years old. It's a nice thought, but there are drawbacks if things go sour. If you are stepping up after years of thinking this child was yours, then you're a fool. If you're stepping up because you're in love with a single mother and you're taking on her child (that you already know is not yours) because you love them both, then that cool. There's nothing admirable about taking care of a child that was conceived out of an affair. Nothing. That's foolishness.

I agree with you. I was thinking if I were a man and found out the child I thought was mine wasn't, I would be done with the mother and the child. That's why I commend those men who were able to think of the child's welfare. It's probably easier said than done when you think about it. Loving a child is different from loving a partner and just letting go is likely more than difficult. I just pointed this out because I'm tired of all the brother bashing (the sister bashing too) out there.

 

[karmashines]

I agree with you. I was thinking if I were a man and found out the child I thought was mine wasn't, I would be done with the mother and the child. That's why I commend those men who were able to think of the child's welfare. It's probably easier said than done when you think about it. Loving a child is different from loving a partner and just letting go is likely more than difficult. I just pointed this out because I'm tired of all the brother bashing (the sister bashing too) out there.

I would do the same thing if I were a man. The thing that really gets me is not necessarily that the child isn't from the father's bloodline (as it is possible to love children you're not related to), but that the kids were made from an affair. How could you ever trust the woman again? Every time you see the kid you'd be reminded of her infidelity.