Black People : The affects of stereotypes

[Astrologer4U]

This post seems to have been over looked...

I asked a very important question in this post, by all means, I would like to hear thoughts on that question...

I got the thought of starting this thread from the "Tiger Woods and his white wife" thread.

I have always had these thoughts but the thread enticed me to go ahead and just say it, just a post a thread on my thoughts to this matter but we have so many black people here at Destee who talk the talk, but don't do the walk entirely. We can't sit here and blame the victim just because we are now conscious and they (the victim) is taking to long to catch up with us.


Typical stereotypes of a black men.

"dumb, deprived, dangerous, deviant, and disturbed”


"Strong
Confident
Alpha male
Will have sex with any girl...non discriminatory in that sense
Unique"


"um, they date white girls, quit often"

"has some one they call a baby's mama.
drink cool aid.
listen to rap.
braid their hair.
have large *****.
are good in bed.
address their friends as their "dogs" or "boys"
usually drives a maxima
lives at home with their mother over the age of 30"


Words of a white woman
"Don't know about general stereotypes, but when I think of a black man I think of :

handsomeness, sex appeal, intelligence, style, beautiful voice, loyalty, values, strength, determination, intellectual and athletic skills, willpower and pride.

I really wish every man was black"

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061206070537AAKG8m9



I will touch on all of these and particularly words of a white woman.

These stereotypes seem to more so attract white women to black men and the way that white women deal with black men is to look forward to the stereotype. The one about black men being confident, most of them are so that stereotype is partially true. However a large portion of black men show this confidence to white women, more than they do black women, why is this?

Also, I think it is pretty scary that a white woman can get a good black man and it all started out as her being interested in him because a positive stereotype proved to be true.


Positive stereotype being, large penis, good in bed, confident, dates a lot of white women etcetera, you all get what I am saying.

What is even scarier is that the black man actually thinks his relationship with the white woman is based true love.


Question:, does it matter how love is achieved, as long as love is achieved? I am not talking about love for people as people/humans... I am talking about love as in a life together with a significant other, building a family, making love only to each other, sharing finances, looking out for each other etcetera, etcetera.



Astrologer4U

 

[Astrologer4U]

Bump!

 

[cherryblossom]

Anyone ever given some serious thoughts to stereotypes and the affects of them?

Something occurred to me as I was asking my millions of questions to black men.

African men born on the continent who relocate to America, they sleep with and have relations with white women more than African American men have relations with white women. For the African man, when he gets to America, it is more easier for him to have a relationship with a white woman than a African American woman or any other race of woman.

Why is this???

I thought of it from a stereotypical perspective. The things that African American women take for granted in the African man, the white woman sees power in. Like the size and shape of some African mens head, Or the accent an African man has and the clothes that some African men wear. If the African man does not fit certain stereotypes, the African American woman won't find him as interesting. The stereotypes that African American women take for granted are not exclusive to African men, this also goes for American black men as well...

To some or most African American woman, a large head is not stereotypically attractive and looked upon as something unusual. The accent is something funny or humorous because it is not stereotypically American and the clothes some African men wear are clothes to be embarrassed about, because they are not stereotypically fashionable.

African American men have challenges with getting an African sister born on the continent when she comes to America. Why is this???

Most African women think that African American men are silly and not serious enough. African women doesn't see power in the ability to lighten up, when in fact there is a power to it. Most African people, when they come to America, or even when in Africa, they tend to become really stressed, even more than Americans because they are to serious and rarely take out time for self. Of course being stressed is due to the large responsibilities put on them but everyone has responsibilities.

In certain places of Africa, Tall women are attracted to short men and Slim men are attracted to large women. Men with large heads are considered to have a brain full of intelligence and when he shows how intelligent he is, the size of his head is proven to be worthy of attraction.

I remember when I was a younger, I used to always have the so called stereotypically ugly boyfriends. They were either to black, didn't know how to dress or didn't get regular hair cuts but to me, they were cute. When I got older, and would reminisce with my cousins and friends about our childhood, they would now be telling me how cute my boyfriends were, when at first, my boyfriends were ugly to them.

I told that story to say this, what we take for granted today, becomes popular tomorrow and we should learn to look outside the box beyond stereotypes. Otherwise if we don't, what we now appreciate may turns it's back on us when the day comes that we finally appreciate it.

Stereotypes are tricks and for many of us, stereotypes lead our lives.

I have this friend who feels that if he is driving a raggedy car, he has to explain his self. I have this other friend who won't dance on an empty dance floor at a club because everyone else is not dancing and he doesn't want to be the only one dancing, when everyone else is not. I have another friend who worries about what other people think of him.

The one who explains his raggedy car, use to have a nice car that he could not afford. He had the nice car so that he could fit the stereotype of someone having money, when in fact he did not have enough money to have the kind of car that he had. He got the car repossessed and now has bad credit due to this. In his eyes, the raggedy car is a sign of his failure. All he had to do was live within his means and not care about fitting into the stereotype that say's you are what people see of you.

The one who won't dance on an empty dance floor, his life is in such shambles because anyone who knows him, knows that all they have to do is act like they are in need of some kind of help and they can pretty much sucker him out of anything. Because of his being able to be suckered, although he works, he has nothing. He doesn't want for people to think that he is selfish or mean so he gives out his last in an effort not to appear selfish or mean. The stereotype that he has fallen for is, a man is determined by what he has to offer... and the other stereotype is, if you are the only one doing something and no one else is, you must be a fool. That last stereotype is laced in peer pressure.

Stereotypes hinder us from dealing with our own insecurities and stereotypes mask the real issues that we have with ourselves.

Hmmmm......Sister A4U, you've presented an interesting mix/comparison and hypothesis here.

Now, a "stereotype" is a negative OR positive PRESCRIBED perception ASCRIBED to any particular group, sex, or race of people, i.e. what one person THINKS OF another person.

But, "self esteem" is what one THINKS OF him or herself.

Now, ALL of the examples you've given here imply how a "stereotype" NEGATIVELY affects a person's behavior, choices, or self-esteem........

Can a negative "stereotype" affect one's behavior so as not to validate a negative stereotype? :?: >>>>YES.

Can that same negative "stereotype" also POSITIVELY affect one's behavior? :?: >>>>YES.

Can that same negative "stereotype" POSITIVELY affect one's "self-esteem?" :?: >>>>YES.

....Let me explain...

As a child, raised in the South, exposed to overt racism, called the N-word at school or in public, negatively stereotyped by teachers ("Black children can not learn." or "Black children are dumb."), etc...

My mother taught her children that we need NOT be offended/affected when others called us the N-word because by our CHARACTER and by our BEHAVIOR, that negative stereotype did NOT apply.

In my mother's estimation, acting like a "n!gg3r" was being LOUD and brash and profane and fighting in public/the streets, making a spectacle of oneself, being "low-down," having/displaying no self-respect, etc..

So, she did not approve of her children behaving so; and if we ever DID display any such behaviors, in whole or part, we suffered some severe REPERCUSSIONS and CONSEQUENCES!

So, IN TURN, that same negative stereotype POSITIVELY and GREATLY affected my BEHAVIOR at home, in public and at school!

AS WELL AS positively affected my self-esteem because it was instilled in me that I was BETTER THAN THAT negative stereotype.

Now, I do think some of your analogies here are more LOW SELF-ESTEEM and poorly placed priorities than stereotypes.

But, I can agree with you that "stereotypes" CAN BE determinants in our behaviors, in one way or another.

Just as the European "stereotype"/definition of beauty being a White woman with a particular SLIM body build also negatively affects the self-esteem of many women, White and Black.....Many women, White and Black suffer with ANOREXIA and BULIMIA, striving to "live up to" this "stereotype" and is also born out of their LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

 

[Astrologer4U]

Thanks for your response Cherry, yes you are right, negative stereotypes can affect some of us in a positive way. I too have had negative stereotypes affect me in a positive way. In this thread, I am trying to focus on people who are affected in a negative way.

For instance, Dennis Rodman




Dennis say's in his book that when he was a kid, the black girls he liked, did not like him. Dennis Rodman also said that his mother was not very loving towards him. Now, Dennis Rodman has the big lips, messed up skin, big nose etcetera. In other words, as far as his face is concerned, as a child and as an adult, he was not the stereotypical archetype of sexy, handsome or cute. However, he had two good things in his adulthood, his assets and his body which white women and men exploited him out of. I personally don't think that Dennis is an ugly man, I think he has many different sexy things about him. However, as a child, I don't think he liked his self due to the obvious and in turn, he adored what was stereotypically beautiful. In other words, the girls that were in his league (not stereotypically beautiful) he did not like them, he wanted the ones who did not want him (girls who were stereotypically beautiful) which were not in his league. It's interesting how people become programmed by what has negatively affected them. In his childhood, he over looked the girls who were negatively judged based on their looks, just like he was.


As he grew older, he only dated white women (stereotypically beautiful, even when not the most attractive) The white women exploited him for the stereotypes they believed in and he in turn dated them out of self hate which was the result of being stereotyped.


Now, this is the reason for this thread, the part that I am about to get to. Some people claim love when they get involved in the kinds of relationships that Rodman has been in. Many of the white women married to rich black men, claim true love and so do the men who are married to them, they claim true love.

If people are getting together based on stereotypes and stereotypes proving to be beneficial such as a black man is well endowed/good in bed, white woman treats a black man better etc... If people are getting together based on stereotypes and are so called really falling into true love after the fact, does it matter how their love was achieved, as long as love is achieved? I am not talking about love for people as people/humans... I am talking about love as in a life together with a significant other, building a family, making love only to each other, sharing finances, looking out for each other etcetera, etcetera.

The Tiger Woods thread is what made me start this thread. So many black men marrying white women and claiming true love just doesn't ring of truth to me but who am I to say when two people are really in love? What I do know is this though, black men marrying white women is a phenomenon and I don't think the phenomenon is due to something natural. Something is happening that is terribly scary in terms of black male and female relationships and white women getting with black men is not helping.


Astrologer4U

 

[cherryblossom]

I asked a very important question in this post, by all means, I would like to hear thoughts on that question...

Question: does it matter how love is achieved, as long as love is achieved? I am not talking about love for people as people/humans... I am talking about love as in a life together with a significant other, building a family, making love only to each other, sharing finances, looking out for each other etcetera, etcetera.

Well, Sister, I can see the comparison you're making here with stereotypes.

However, there are also couples together, Black and White, who got married to each other when "LOVE" was not the deciding factor at all.

Many "SHOT-GUN WEDDINGS" started off as two married people, building a family, sharing finances, monogamous sex, etc ...

But, in many cases, ONE or BOTH in this marriage did not, at first, "LOVE" the other.

However, over time, one or the other did GROW TO LOVE the other.

I have personally known Black women who told me this....She didn't love her husband when they got married, but she "grew" to love him over the years and a LIFE-TIME together: building a family, sharing finances, monogamous sex, etc...

Now, no, there is no "stereotype" involved here....just two people who married out of necessity and pressure from societal norms.